What can I do? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

MuddyLane · 12-18-2005, 11:05 PM

I need some advice on what to do....

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we have been living together for awhile now. He has a real problem with marijuana (3 times a day or more) and it's affecting every aspect of his life. He doesn't think that he has a problem and rationalizes using it whenever I bring it up. Whenever we start talking about it he just won't listen to what I'm trying to say. I know it's his choice to do it and I don't want him to think I'm being controlling but i can see how its slowly ruining his life.

He just went away to work on the rigs three weeks ago and has started drinking heavily because "there's nothing else to do" and I'm afraid he is going to come back a chronic marijuana smoker and alchoholic. I hate being around him when he is stoned because he's so apathetic and withdrawn. I have no idea what it's going to be like with him stoned AND drunk constantly.

I was just wondering if there is some way I can get him to see that he has a problem and that he relies too much on substances to get through the day.

sadcat · 12-19-2005, 12:13 AM

My addict is my 30 y/o son, so things are a bit different, but I wanted to wlecome you to this site. I landed here about a couple of months ago and I really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't.
Take a moment or two to read around. Particularly helpful for me were the stickies up top.

We may not have much success controlling the ones that we love, but we have all the power in the world to change ourselves and our future.
Let your HP guide you, let his take care of him.

If you can get to an Alanon meeting or and Naranon meeting in your area, this would help you to deal with this.

If they have addictive charateristics then it may not stop at pot and booze. Mind you those are bad enough, but quite often they progress to harder drug. My son started with pot and booze and before he went to treatment he was on anything he could get his hands on. But Coke and Crack were his DOC (Drug of Choice).

When I went to my first Naranon meeting there was a sign there

We Didn't Cause It
We Can't Control It and
We Can't Cure It

Take care of yourself, and get yourself informed

(((hugs))) & Prayers for the both of you

Barb

Prayingforhelp · 12-19-2005, 12:32 PM

I think that if you have talked about it and you let him know how you feel, thats all you can do. You will basically have to tell him everything bad that comes from him using marijuana. Read my thread if you get a chance. If he is truly addicted, there is nothing you can do to save him, but you can think about your self. If it is effecting you and your daily life, you need to adjust your life to where it doesn't. If he really cares about you, he will change. Just don't let him hender your quality of life.

12-18-2005, 11:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
MuddyLane Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alberta Posts: 1	What can I do? I need some advice on what to do.... I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we have been living together for awhile now. He has a real problem with marijuana (3 times a day or more) and it's affecting every aspect of his life. He doesn't think that he has a problem and rationalizes using it whenever I bring it up. Whenever we start talking about it he just won't listen to what I'm trying to say. I know it's his choice to do it and I don't want him to think I'm being controlling but i can see how its slowly ruining his life. He just went away to work on the rigs three weeks ago and has started drinking heavily because "there's nothing else to do" and I'm afraid he is going to come back a chronic marijuana smoker and alchoholic. I hate being around him when he is stoned because he's so apathetic and withdrawn. I have no idea what it's going to be like with him stoned AND drunk constantly. I was just wondering if there is some way I can get him to see that he has a problem and that he relies too much on substances to get through the day.

12-19-2005, 12:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
sadcat Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 7	My addict is my 30 y/o son, so things are a bit different, but I wanted to wlecome you to this site. I landed here about a couple of months ago and I really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't. Take a moment or two to read around. Particularly helpful for me were the stickies up top. We may not have much success controlling the ones that we love, but we have all the power in the world to change ourselves and our future. Let your HP guide you, let his take care of him. If you can get to an Alanon meeting or and Naranon meeting in your area, this would help you to deal with this. If they have addictive charateristics then it may not stop at pot and booze. Mind you those are bad enough, but quite often they progress to harder drug. My son started with pot and booze and before he went to treatment he was on anything he could get his hands on. But Coke and Crack were his DOC (Drug of Choice). When I went to my first Naranon meeting there was a sign there We Didn't Cause It We Can't Control It and We Can't Cure It Take care of yourself, and get yourself informed (((hugs))) & Prayers for the both of you Barb __________________ Sad Cat

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12-19-2005, 12:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
Prayingforhelp Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: columbia Posts: 1	I think that if you have talked about it and you let him know how you feel, thats all you can do. You will basically have to tell him everything bad that comes from him using marijuana. Read my thread if you get a chance. If he is truly addicted, there is nothing you can do to save him, but you can think about your self. If it is effecting you and your daily life, you need to adjust your life to where it doesn't. If he really cares about you, he will change. Just don't let him hender your quality of life.

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