Advice - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

RAVEN1 · 12-15-2005, 05:44 PM

Hi Im A Friend Of A Recovering Heroin Addict I Know He Has Smoked Pot Twice He Did It In Front Of Me I Was Upset I Dont Feel He Should Be Doing This He Seemed Really Miserable/angry The Next I Dont Know If Its Because He Was Mad At Himself Since He Came Out Of Rehab He Seems Really Distant Now He Said He Is Going Thru A Rough Time Didnt Get His Job Back And Having Mood Swings Should I Let Him Go For Awhile Or Keep Supporting Him Any Suggestions Especially With Christmas I Keep Thinking Of Him Havent Talked To Him In Almost A Month

journeygal · 12-21-2005, 03:49 AM

Hi Raven - sorry for the late reply.

Early recovery is very difficult even in the best of situations, and with the holidays and not getting his job back, he's probably really suffering. If he's not going to meetings, working a recovery program, and he's still doing pot, then he's going to keep having mood swings until he really decides to start trying to turn his life around.

It may be best to let him go for a while so you don't get too sucked up in his drama, as addicts have a tendency to bring everyone around them down. You can be his friend but he needs to find his way to true recovery.

Take care,
JG

Hopefloats · 12-31-2005, 11:39 AM

Hi Raven, I think that when we shift all of that focus onto our recovery our answers come faster. At least for me they did. I am not saying that we rush anything..not at all, but when I was focused on what my daughter was doing it always took time away from what I needed to be doing.

Only our addicts themselves can make their recovery work for them. Whatever they need to do, only they can do it. I think we can be very supportive of their recovery when they are in fact doing all of the things they need to be doing.

Having one foot in recovery and one foot in "using" just does not work. A drug is a drug is a drug as you know.

I have not been around the boards that much until this weekend. I am trying to catch up a bit

I hope you had a nice holiday, and you are doing whatever you need to do that says you are taking good care of you.
Blessings...
Hopefloats

12-15-2005, 05:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
RAVEN1 Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: PA Posts: 10	Advice Hi Im A Friend Of A Recovering Heroin Addict I Know He Has Smoked Pot Twice He Did It In Front Of Me I Was Upset I Dont Feel He Should Be Doing This He Seemed Really Miserable/angry The Next I Dont Know If Its Because He Was Mad At Himself Since He Came Out Of Rehab He Seems Really Distant Now He Said He Is Going Thru A Rough Time Didnt Get His Job Back And Having Mood Swings Should I Let Him Go For Awhile Or Keep Supporting Him Any Suggestions Especially With Christmas I Keep Thinking Of Him Havent Talked To Him In Almost A Month

12-21-2005, 03:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
journeygal believer Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: walking in faith Posts: 1,030	Hi Raven - sorry for the late reply. Early recovery is very difficult even in the best of situations, and with the holidays and not getting his job back, he's probably really suffering. If he's not going to meetings, working a recovery program, and he's still doing pot, then he's going to keep having mood swings until he really decides to start trying to turn his life around. It may be best to let him go for a while so you don't get too sucked up in his drama, as addicts have a tendency to bring everyone around them down. You can be his friend but he needs to find his way to true recovery. Take care, JG __________________ Whether they find recovery or not, we survive...and then we thrive. ~Gabe

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12-31-2005, 11:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
Hopefloats Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: With Good Spirit Posts: 395	Hi Raven, I think that when we shift all of that focus onto our recovery our answers come faster. At least for me they did. I am not saying that we rush anything..not at all, but when I was focused on what my daughter was doing it always took time away from what I needed to be doing. Only our addicts themselves can make their recovery work for them. Whatever they need to do, only they can do it. I think we can be very supportive of their recovery when they are in fact doing all of the things they need to be doing. Having one foot in recovery and one foot in "using" just does not work. A drug is a drug is a drug as you know. I have not been around the boards that much until this weekend. I am trying to catch up a bit I hope you had a nice holiday, and you are doing whatever you need to do that says you are taking good care of you. Blessings... Hopefloats

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