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Originally Posted by lynnbo My son is in AA and has been sober for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him. I know he is getting close to the step where he has to apologize for the things he did to me and his dad when he was drinking. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I want him to know how much he means to us but I don't want to just blow it off like it didn't really hurt us. What is the best thing to say to him so that he knows we were hurt but that we love him more than the hurt he caused. I want him to know I forgive him. If you have any advice on this subject, I would appreciate some insight.....Thank you.....  |
Having just done my 9th step...the most advice that I can say is to be honest and to truly listen w/open ears and let him get out what he needs to get out first. I was lucky that my family and people from my past that I had harmed as a result of my behavior while drinking were pretty receptive to my amend to them. However, this didn't go w/o them saying that things I did hurt them. Most of my family just said how concerned they were for me and that they realized that I am NOW trying to live life different and they they supported me. Honestly I don't think I would have received as much growth out of this step if everyone had just sugar coated everything and said..."yeah, honey, it's ok" and didn't give me how it made them feel as well.
I'm not sure if this helps or not. It's just my experience, being on the "other" side of this process.
Good luck to you and your son!
J
11-09-2005, 08:05 AM
Need advice please 
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