My mom is making me crazy

[2nd2drugs]

My boyfriend is currently in rehab he has two weeks left and he will be home. He sounds really good and hopeful and he cant wait to start his new life. The only thing thats making this such a hard thing to deal with is my parents. I feel like i made a mistake telling them what happend because now all my mom does is try and get me to find someone new. Its making me crazy. She tells me if i stay with him she doesnt want a part of me, and it hurts really bad. I have hope for my boyfriend and i love my mom but i cant take the fighting any more. Iknow there is a chance that he could relapse and she would be right after all but i want to live one day at a time and she wants me to map out my life. I am only 20 and i have been seeing this guy for 3and a half yrs. He used for about 6 mounths and decied to go get help on his own. I try and tell my mom that he can get better but she doesnt care how do i deal with this someone help.

[pmaslan]

Being a mom myself I can totally understand where your mom is coming from. Mothers want the best for their children. As a woman that was involved with and A, I understand your hopes and dreams of a great life with your boyfriend. If you haven't started Nar Anon please do. Learn as much as you can about addictions and ways you can better prepare yourself no matters what happens. I will keep you in my prayers....
Love, Patty

[2nd2drugs]

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers it helps a lot to know how much support people have to give.

[Evanna]

I can see from both sides....parent's interference in our relationships can be infuriating and feel undermining...but as a parent i imagine your mum might be just plain scared.

[smoke gets in my eyes]

Hi 2nd.

When I was younger, I thought my mom was a compassionless wretch. All of my friends had something wrong with them, and the ones that really did have something wrong with them she held in the same fear and disdain that I would hold a mass murderer. Now that I'm older... I know that my mom was a compassionless wretch. And I know that my obstinate reactions against her judgments and predjudices were one cause of my swinging too far in the other direction, and embracing some real misfits. But it was fear that drove her, and only wanting the very best for me. She just went overboard. If I could have understood that then, I might not have gotten emotional whiplash. I might have concentrated more on what I really liked and wanted. She was so clearly wrong that it seemed right to do the opposite. A middle ground would have been so much healthier.

However you handle this with your mom, keep using your own mind. If your friend was smart enough to nip this in the bud himself, he may be smart enough to stay straight. If he isn't... take care of you. 7 years of living with the fallout from someone elses crack addiction is pure, unadulterated hell. The 3 years of recovery have been no picnic either. It is beautiful to have an open mind. Just have open eyes to go along with it.

HUGS!
Smoke