Spiritual Awakening

[Joe1990]

Hello everyone,

Im a new one here who has found enormous help reading all your threads, so much so i have decided to take the plunge and start one for advice

My boyfriend and i have just got back together after a 2 month split which was a result of the behaviour he displayed as a result of the death of my stepdad who was taken from us in a motorbike accident 2 months ago,

To cut a long story short, i have known my BF for 8 years and he has always been a drinker along with all his mates. We started going out last July and all went perfect until Christmas when the his alcohol problem started to surface and he let me down alot to go out drinking. I voiced my concern and that he needed to address this issue, he seemed to acknowledge the problem and went to a couple of AA meetings and stayed off drink for a month. We then decided to see if he could limit his drinks on nights out and this seemed to go well for a month before i noticed it start to slid. Just as i was about to start getting worried again my Stepdad had his accident. My BF was there for me in everyway until the 4th day after the accident where he went out with his mates and to release some of the pressure binge drank till the early hours, he then sent me a text message saying he wanted to end the relationship, thinking he couldn't be a perfect boyfriend and i deserved better. Ofcourse he was back a couple of days later deeply regretting his actions, however i was in no position to deal with what he had done and refused to talk to him till after the funeral. He complied. 2 weeks later he came to my house in total despair about the way he had treated me and he finally admitted to himself that he had a problem as he practically drank 24/7 in the past 2 weeks to numb the pain he felt.

He is now going to AA meetings and is waiting a refereal from his doctors for a Alcohol therpist. He seems to be doing really well at the moment and is very aware he needs to change his lifestyle if he wants to beat this. This is were im getting a little concerned. He has found a lot of comfort from reading The New Testament which i feel is an enormous step forward for him as he had always rejected having faith in a higher power, however he seems to be taking this new found faith to extremes and is certain he wants to become a Vicar. He has always had an interest in Theology and i would be more than happy if he chose to study this subject, but i feel he is choosing to become a Vicar for the wrong reasons, also i feel that it is too soon for him to start making big decisions about his future so soon after what has happened. He finds a lot of comfort in the thought of finding a career where he can help people though his own experiences and through the new faith he has found, especially as he has been a bit if a drifter in the past and never really had to work as a result of a privilidged background. I want to support him in the choices he makes so am uncertain how to approach my concerns about this career idea. At the moment i am thinking of asking him to not make any big decisions for possibly a year and to talk to his therapist about this decision before taking any steps.

Does anyone have any simular stories or advice that may help with this situation?

[mackat]

mackat- addict akie here

almost everyone i know [including me] was ready to become a drug treatment counselor immediately after rehab. most did not follow that path [again, including me]...most sponsors in AA will suggest that big life decisions be put off for a while.

you might also check al anon resorces to find appropriate boundaries in what your own expectations can be around another person

[Joe1990]

Thanks for the reply, my gut feeling is that he will change his mind given time plus talking to his therapist will hopefully help him find a vocation he is more suited to. I have just found some al anon literature that will hopefully help me understand what boundaries i need to make for my self as i have to admit i am a bit confused about that side of things. Thanks for listening