I just want my wife and kids back - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

liveat5 · 04-05-2005, 12:44 AM

I know, recovery isn't a promise to gain back that which you've lost. But I just want the happy family that never was. That is all.

**best** · 04-05-2005, 01:02 AM

Keep working on your recovery and if it is ment to happen it will happen.

being clean and sober we would have them back even if we didn't get back together with them.

I have found that sober equals a hope and a future. Be it that the future is with another or with amends and a fixed family. Either way it would be a better future.
Not sober has no hope and no future from what I have seen.

Stay the right path and know that clean/sober is truly the better way.

mackcat · 04-07-2005, 09:29 PM

liveat5
i do understand about the pain, the wish, the desire , the memories...
i did not get all my family back
but i did get what i needed and what i could handle
and i was so blessed by the ones who came back into my life
and i was equally blessed by the friends i have found since i got clean/sober
most of all
i got me a life

hugs
mackat

ButterflyChaser · 04-11-2005, 01:56 PM

(((((((((((((((((liveat5)))))))))))))))) big hugs go out you you!!!

I feel your pain! Keep your chin up, it does get better!

utopia · 04-11-2005, 07:57 PM

i have often felt the same way as you do. for years ive dreamed of the family thatnever was. love, security, warmth, consistency, protection, reliability, safety, accepting, encouraging, approving. and ive noticed how in my past ive looked to flatmates especially, but also friends and lovers to fulfill the void that my parents instilled in me with certain needs not met!

as ive grown in recovery ive come to accept that ill never have the parental support as i had wanted and needed, and that the "perfect" family does not exist. except within me. and with the help of my hp, god. all of that is within me, my zone of inner peace, my sanctuary that only god and myself frequent. so ive come to believe that no matter what is taken away i will always have inner peace.

i had to grieve that i would not find the "family" i was so desperately needing as a child and was deprived of. my new family is in recovery and with friends and remnants of family that are still loving of me by the grace of god but they do need recovery. sigh...ultimately its in myself, my family, my lover, my god connects me to the outer world and nourishes the inner.

04-05-2005, 12:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
liveat5 Findin' my way Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 29	I just want my wife and kids back I know, recovery isn't a promise to gain back that which you've lost. But I just want the happy family that never was. That is all. __________________ First I thought of this And then I turn to that And then I turn a little bit scared Well, I feel a little bit easier Knowing that you're all here Now, as you can see This clearly isn't me I'm not alone, I'm just blue

04-05-2005, 01:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,190	Keep working on your recovery and if it is ment to happen it will happen. being clean and sober we would have them back even if we didn't get back together with them. I have found that sober equals a hope and a future. Be it that the future is with another or with amends and a fixed family. Either way it would be a better future. Not sober has no hope and no future from what I have seen. Stay the right path and know that clean/sober is truly the better way. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

04-11-2005, 01:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,023	(((((((((((((((((liveat5)))))))))))))))) big hugs go out you you!!! I feel your pain! Keep your chin up, it does get better! __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-11-2005, 07:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
utopia Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: adelaide, australia Posts: 510	i have often felt the same way as you do. for years ive dreamed of the family thatnever was. love, security, warmth, consistency, protection, reliability, safety, accepting, encouraging, approving. and ive noticed how in my past ive looked to flatmates especially, but also friends and lovers to fulfill the void that my parents instilled in me with certain needs not met! as ive grown in recovery ive come to accept that ill never have the parental support as i had wanted and needed, and that the "perfect" family does not exist. except within me. and with the help of my hp, god. all of that is within me, my zone of inner peace, my sanctuary that only god and myself frequent. so ive come to believe that no matter what is taken away i will always have inner peace. i had to grieve that i would not find the "family" i was so desperately needing as a child and was deprived of. my new family is in recovery and with friends and remnants of family that are still loving of me by the grace of god but they do need recovery. sigh...ultimately its in myself, my family, my lover, my god connects me to the outer world and nourishes the inner. __________________ Lord, be my calm in the storm To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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04-07-2005, 09:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
mackcat Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado Posts: 43	liveat5 i do understand about the pain, the wish, the desire , the memories... i did not get all my family back but i did get what i needed and what i could handle and i was so blessed by the ones who came back into my life and i was equally blessed by the friends i have found since i got clean/sober most of all i got me a life hugs mackat

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