Moment of clarity, or selfishness?

[StopTheInsanity]

undefinedHello, Im a 25 year old recovering addict. I have 4 months clean as of Monday. Im making certain realizations in my life. For instance. I have been dating someone for 12 years, off and on. We have used together most of our 'relationship'. We are both now in Narcotics Anonymous. She is living with another man, but we share a child together. I'm realizing more and more, that she may not be the one for me. I asked for space, that I just wanted to be friends. I need to concentrate on my recovery and making my life more manageable. She says Im selfish and if I loved her I would just stick it out. I love her, but I am no longer "in love" with her. I care about her deeply but I'm tired of her headgames. Im so confused. Is it selfish of me to just want to be friends, or should I just stick it out?

[Peter]

Originally Posted by StopTheInsanity

[font=Tahoma] She is living with another man, but we share a child together. I'm realizing more and more, that she may not be the one for me. I asked for space, that I just wanted to be friends. I need to concentrate on my recovery and making my life more manageable. She says Im selfish and if I loved her I would just stick it out. I love her, but I am no longer "in love" with her. I care about her deeply but I'm tired of her headgames. Im so confused. Is it selfish of me to just want to be friends or should I just stick it out?

Should you just stick what out?

The mother of your child is living with another man but still wants to have you on the side?

I think if you are no longer in love with this woman then you really need to move on.You are not being selfish to want better for yourself.

The two of you have a child together and will always have a bond.You are offering her your friendship and as far as she is concerned , that is more than enough.

[Paulie]

Well in my opinion 'just sticking it out' is not the basis for a relationship. And probably not the best kind of relationship to show to a child.

Be her friend, keep working your program and taking care of you, that is the best you can do.