I'm BACK!!

[VanillaSugar21]

Hey ya'll! Sorry it's been so long since I been on here. I had to move out of my mom's house because it was starting to get really bad. I was back to cutting myself and my depression was very high. My mom was yelling at me all the time and I couldn't deal anymore, so I moved in with my fiance and his family. It's a lot nicier here but I'm having problems getting it through my head that his family is not like my mom. I hide a lot because that's what I'm used to doing. I don't know how to get myself out of doing it. I been living here for about 3 weeks now and I spend all day hiding because his mom is home all the time. She has cancer and can't work. Her lung cancer just went into remission but she has spinal cancer too. I'm not used to being around anyone during the day. His dad is here till about 11am. How can I try to get it through to myself that his family isn't gonna hurt me. I mean I can say it and I know it but it still doesn't help. When it get totally quiet I start to hide because before when it was quiet I couldn't do anything cause if I woke my mom who knew what would happen. My relationship is better with my mom but my relationship with my fiance is really hard to deal with and the same with his family. I don't know what to do. They are great people and I like being here. Ugh! I don't know! My brain is going a mile a minute and won't shut up. Me being on this site shows I'm improving somewhat cause I had to come down stairs in the dining room to use the computer. Ok I'ma stop gibbering now.

[journeygal]

Hi Vanilla - welcome back!

Don't be too hard on yourself! It's hard moving into a new place and feeling comfortable. It's completely understandable why you feel the need to hide, especially when you come from a difficult home environment. Give yourself some time to get used to being around them.

Good to see you again!

Hugs,
JG

[Jewelz]

((((((((((Vanilla))))))))) I could relate to a lot of what your post says. I remember when I was with my ex and pregnant I always saw his family as "normal" and loved being at their home cause mine was way to chaotic. But even though I was where I wanted to be I couldn't open up at all with his family esspecially his mom. It took a while for me to be comfortable around them and I was with my ex for almost ten years. My ex and I arent together no more but have a daughter together and while my ex and I have no type of communication but asking what time he will get or drop her off, my relationship with his family is beautiful and love them still as if their were blood related to me. I dont know if what I wrote helps but I hope you know your not alone and others go through the same thing too. Be strong and try to take steps to opening up with them.

Jewel