Is It Love, Sex, or relational Matter?

[Pernell Johnson]

yourgirl, you are too kind but I am a sucker for compliments. If this stuff is really important, get a tape recorder and read it into the tape and listen whenever you like.

[sunshinedt]

Thank you for the posts. I have learned so much from you and the beauty of the to my daughter i plan to print it and post it near my computer and i plan to read it each day to remind myself of the beauty it fills my heart with. thank you for your gift

[Pernell Johnson]

Hello everyone, I have been reading something that I think would be of great benefit to everyone who reads it. The title is "The Relationship Cure", by John M. Gottman. It states that it is a 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family and friendships.

Now for your personal pleasure and a delightful learning experience online there is something called "Authentic Happiness." You can go to this website and take the tests and see how you are doing.
www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

[Jerzy007]

Thanks for the lesson PErnell and PAdre Pio is the best!! But pertaining to the info and my life, I ask myself? Should I shoot myself now and just get it over with?

[Pernell Johnson]

Jerzy007, It is about change. Change is scary, Why? Because we want to do what is comfortable. Meaning the comfortable pain rather than the uncomfortable change that leads to a better life. Now, if change is so scary to you. do what you suggested and get it over with.

[Jerzy007]

Change is extremely scary, and I'm really in a bad way. I moved here from Trenton, NJ, about 4 moths ago to get clean and sober after being clean and sober for 3 years and relapsing for a year, my depression set in at the end of those three years after failing miserably at relationships, (comparing myself to others) i dont know how to make friends or talk to people, and did not get any better through a year of therapy and Coda anonymous(read a couple of Pia Melody's books). After practicing the program AA for those three years and not getting anybetter socially i decided to alleviate the loneliness weekends and pain the best way i knew how-heroin. ( None the less I became rather religious, prayed the rosary alot, read, and meditated during my time sober because I was alone alot...even visited Medugorge with the elderly who i seemed to relate too.) Now, im clean and sober 4 months and back in the same depressive cycle...most areas of my life came together very orderly, brought my car which i earned in NJ down here, landed a good job, just moved out of my halfway house into a townhouse, but socially full of fear and really depressed about it. I'm going to get high today for some relief before i implode and end up at a psych hospital. I've been getting high for so long that i know that it helps me maintain and function. and if i live long enough for my benefits and allowed time off from work to kick in im gonna get psychiatric help.
So where do you advise your clients to start after putting down mood altering substances and identifying their love addiction? And have you seen many success' with your patients?

[hope-faith]

Pernell

The million dollar question. If your A is in a Love Addiction, what is the prognosis and is there a way out of this? Can there ever be a healthy relationship?

[Serenity8]

Wow, what a great thread. As the mom of 2 little girls I am terrified that they will be co-dependent. I have been in therapy off and on for 15 years and it was Al-Anon that opened my eyes about making myself happy.

[daisydookie278]

Um, I scored 5 points. I have a feeling we aren't keeping score, and higher isn't better. lol. Wow, this was so informative. I've never hear anything like this. Makes so much sense. Thanks~

[arie318]

Wow.. I went through this years ago, I chose to deal with it alone and it sure lead me to relapse it was to much and painful to deal with on my one.

[Pernell Johnson]

Hello everypne, Ihave not posted here in some time but I received this inquiry from Aries. So first of all, let me say that there is a way out of this dilemna/addiction.And,yes you do need help but help is available. What you or anybody interested in this subject can do is go to the 12 step program.
Sex And Love Addicts or What Addiction Is Not. You can google it and get to the right location. I wish you well and hope that this was helpful.

Your Friend

Pernell

[Dini]

I can't thank you enough for posting this info. After 12 years of sobriety, I have found myself in a cycle of co-dependance with some people who recently came back into my life. I am finally stepping outside of my AA program and attending other 12 step programs to truly face this behavior. It is the most painful work I have done in sobriety because I have to take responsibility for my less than sober choices and behavior. Reading your thread gives me more insight into my behavior and the roles I have been playing.

[comanche]

wow this is great stuff, thanks for posting