Carolyn Myss on Woundology

[Gabe]

Many times, it's our past wounds that keep us from forming healthy relationships in our present.
And we can unknowingly participate in this, by using our wounds as some sort of definition of who we are.
Carolyn Myss refers to this as Woundology.
Here is a link to an excellent article addressing the subject.
http://partners.nytimes.com/books/fi...myss-heal.html

[journeygal]

I thought this was a very interesting article. I think a lot of us play the victim without realizing that we've become active participants in prolonging our pain. Seeking help and support is great and essential, but I think there comes a time when we should be more healed or recovered than wounded.

Thanks Gabe.

[Lorelai]

Thanks so much for posting this, Gabe.

I've been thinking about something similar lately. There is a time for introspection and discovering the reasons for why we are the way we are. There also comes a time when you just have to suck it up and quit blaming your behavior on what has happened in the past.

I know why I behave the way I do. I know that behaving this way doesn't allow me to live my life to it's fullest. Instead of concentrating on my sorry behavior, I should just make an effort to behave in a way I know is the best way for me. No matter what has happened in the past, I am in control of what I do today.

Thanks for making this even more clear to me.
Every time I read one of your posts, it is just what I need at that moment. Amazing.
L

[Gabe]

Originally Posted by Lorelai

There is a time for introspection and discovering the reasons for why we are the way we are. There also comes a time when you just have to suck it up and quit blaming your behavior on what has happened in the past.

L, have I told you lately how glad I am that you hang around in this neighborhood?

[mackat]

gabe

a very interesting and useful post
really crystalizes some of the dynamic within my own support groups that has been troubling me for years- not to mention facing my own healing [or lack thereof] around addiction and abuse.

thank you
mackat

[Gabe]

Mack, I'm so glad you're back.
I've learned a lot from what Caroline Myss writes.
People who define themselves by their wounds never seem to get anywhere.
No healing there, you know?
Just more woundology.

[mackat]

i shared on this at my AA meeting tonite- it got a good topic rolling.
thought about it later- in all facets of my life , best if i live in the solution, not the problem

[BlueMoon]

*Awesome* link!

Thank you!!

Blue

[GiveLove]

What a great article. Think about what people know about you after they've only known you a short time....how much of what I've suffered am I using to create my ongoing identity? Do I even realize I'm doing it? I didn't, 'til now. Fascinating.

[Jadmack25]

Oh, WOW!!! Read article on woundology and how it makes sense. Will read it over again as it was so powerful for me. Thank you for posting that link..

[boocatgirl]

I actually worked with a woman who was a victim of incest and did exactly what the author decribes with his friend Mary. During lunch at work, she sort of threw that bomb at us as the group worked on a crossword puzzle. It was said matter of fact, and seemingly out of the blue. Thanks for posting this.

BCG

[lunarise]

Wow...very interesting article..

[freya]

It seems to me I've read this before -- in her book Why People don't Heal and How They Can maybe????????

I love Myss...but I still find her Anatomy of the Spirit -- which is pretty old now -- to be her best!

freya

[tigger11]

Good article, although I don't care much for the whole "energy" new-agey stuff. No matter, take what's useful, and throw the rest away?

Since I left my STBXAH, I've felt so down. I'm slowly getting better. But I can see how, if I weren't working on healing and focusing on growing and not repeating the self abusive behavior of choosing alcoholic, abusive men, the downward spiral might continue. Recently, I've been having ah-ha moments that have shifted my thinking and feeling so that I am more positive and strong. This through working on my own healing from the pain of the abuse and divorce, and growing within myself as a whole, complete, self-sustaining individual. But I can see how one might get mired in the darkness of pain, and find it has an addictive strength of its own, and how that might perpetuate not only the lack of healing, but of actually getting worse and worse.

Today I thank God that I enjoy being positive, joyful and upbeat, and that by desiring healing and growth, I am getting back to that place with gusto, perhaps more slowly than I'd like, but getting there nonetheless.

Here's to hoping all of us on this forum enjoy growth and healing. I see it often here, and love it!

Thanks, Gabe!

[gmc]

It's a wonderful article and full of lots of insights!

Thanks!

[omcmr]

I recently finalized a divorce from my wife of 23 years, but in reality I've been dealing with the separation for some time. After reading this article, I realize that I've been guilty of woundology. I've been carrying around my guilt and shame and pain like Linus' blanket, allowing my hurts to define who I am - a wretched, lonely soul. I've continued to add to my loneliness because I've stayed hurt. Letting go of my pain and guilt doesn't lessen their importance as lessons that I need to remember, nor does it make me less of a person for trying to move on with my life. I am a man that has made mistakes, but I'm still worthy of love and respect.