[B]Will the pieces come back together in time??[/B]

[redjeepgirl76]

undefinedI have been with the woman of my dreams for for about a year and a half....We met and had an instant attraction....we had the perfect story book love. Although we do have a lot of differences.....grew up on opposite sides of the track. She being the good girl and me being the bad.

When we met I had been on methadone maintenance for about 3.5 years for a severe opiod dependence. She never really understood addiction.....didn't understand why people 'chose' to be that way. I was kind of given an ultimatum.....lose the methadone or her. Within 4 months i shot down from 140mls a day to 25 and quit cold turkey....It was THE worst experience of my life. I went through a living hell complete with convulsions and a relapse back into oxys just to feel normal. I ended up in a rehab 2 weeks later and prescribed suboxone. I'm on a maintenance program for a 1.5....and really scared i'll go through the severe w/d's again. I don't think i could live through it again............

Our relationship went through a grinder....it made a sharp turn into an unhealthy relationship. She does trust me.....and she can't forgive me from her heart. I lied to her 6 times during my w/d's...(I started smoking again....after not smoking for 4 years......she caught me....I promised i'd never smoke again and she caught me the next day).

She always thinks i'm up to no good....we've been fighting all the time....we keep hanging on to what we had before. I feel my addiction changed the girl i loved into someone else. Does anyone think we can make it through this?? We both love each other so much that we'd probably fight to stay together until death.....I want to find happiness again. I want her not to compulsively worry about me anymore......I would appreciate any advice...thanks, chrystal in Maine

[JT]

chrystal in Maine,

You are jumping through hoops for this girl and she is browbeating you. Is that healthy?? Is that love?? I have to wonder. So she doesn't understand how anyone could ever become addicted...she is obviously uninformed if she expected you to drop methadone that quickly. Sorry I won't keep putting her down. You say you love her.

You need to take care of YOU first and foremost. Love is not something...or at least should not be something that makes you do things that are not in your own best interest.

We codependents and addicts alike can very easily fall into an obsession. It can be drugs, gambling, alcoholism and it can also be people.

Please take care of you and let her take care of her.
Hugs,
JT

[journeygal]

Hi Chrystal,

Listen to JT - she is wise.

Your addiction has affected your relationship and it will take time for your girlfriend to recover from everything that's happened. All you can do is try to keep your side of the street clean and focus on being honest and following through on your recovery and your promises. The more she sees you are serious about getting your life back on track, the more she will begin to trust you again.

Take care,
JG

[Paulie]

Getting clean is not always easy, and staying clean isn't either.

I an an addict myself. Try and focus on sobriety for you not her, that may make a difference. Do you still want to use? or do you want to stop cause she wants you to.
And yes..listen to JT, she is wise !