Sex USED to be GOOD!!!!

[Shell2469]

Well, maybe that is kinda misleading...it still is BUT...now that i'm sober i have become racked with guilt feelings over what i thought would be considered normal sexual behavior.
i'm with ONE man and am only intimate with him (as opposed to the multiple partners i used to get busy with when drinking and drugging)
Now it seems that i'm feeling guilty after having sex...it's a SIN and all that!
it kinda drives me crazy because i don't want to give it up...i still enjoy it very much and i don't anticipate marrige anytime soon but i feel the need to ask for forgiveness each morning after i've done it.
i just want to know if there's anyone else out there that has experienced this same phenominon after getting sober.
this having a conscience can really get in the way of my fun sometimes!!!! Dang it!

[utopia]

i tried being an alcoholic and would go home with strangers, it was the only way, i went thru sexual abuse in my past and so i would always detach when sexual activity came along and i would feel guilty afterwards but thats also a lil thing called religion, the guilt in many religions on sexual pleasure got into my head at an early age. i found that it wasnt just sexual pleasure though, eating delicious foods or having real fun at any time. I was guilty for feeling happy and joyous because there were fears that it was false, that i wasnt worth it. but i am and you are worth it. you have every right to enjoy your life, esp. sexually but in every part of your life, do u talk to ure guy about how u feel about sex? sometimes getting it out in the open can help and bring u closer together, but its your choice. maybe just think for one minute enjoy the moment after sex of not only the release of tension but the intimacy with your man. try it just for one minute at a time
toby

[best]

You ask is it a sin? Should ask God that and seek His answers in His word.
In God's eyes sex outside of marriage is a sin.
Is sex dirty? No.
It is a gift from God.
Sex is the one gift that the individual can give to another that no one else can give. When the two become one.... Two people that share a gift between each other is a true action of love and giving.
Sex is one of the most wonderful gifts that God has given mankind. Thing is though... mankind has painted it in many cases to be looked at as something that is dirty. Two people married and giving of themselves to each other with no guilt and giving as gifts of love to each other is truly a blessing.
From what I have seen, the only way around the guilt...stop what is causing it or get in line with God's ways so there would be no guilt to worry about.
I have found His way to be the better way.

[spirit]

hi shell, i am concerned about why you feel guilty about have a sexual relationship with one man, who i assume is your partner. maybe you are confusing a couple of things, namely facing sex sober and how vulnerable that can make us feel, it really is different to when we feel all powerful, sexy etc when drunk, doesnt it. drinking for me used to take away my feelings of vulnerability haha, yet ironically made me more vulnerable by having inappropriate relationships, or encounters.

what is the nature of relationship with your one man, is it a purely sexually one, or a partnership. it is ok to have a sexual relationship with someone, if that is all it is. in some ways it is better because you know the boundaries that you both take to that level of relationship.

if he is a partner, then one would hope that he would understand that your sober eyes make you see or feel about sex differently sometimes and that he supports you in those feelings.

sex is not a dirty thing, it is a normal and natural desire and thing to do., nthing to feel guilty about,

however if you feel vulnerable or bad about it afterwards, then i would recommend that you see a counsellor about that, maybe you had messages about sex as a younger person, that is was bad and when you were drinking you could ignore those messages, but now sober, it feels there is no defence against them

it wold be worth getting help to sort out why you feel "sex is bad"

sex isnt bad but i can at times make us feel vulnerable, especially if we feel we are doing it for the wrong reasons, or with the wrong person.

hugs to you and PM if you would like some other ideas
hugs
kath