| Informative and supportive place
This is my first time in this place... I just want to say that it is so informative and makes me feel glad and good about my decision not being with my A ex anymore...
I'm still not sure if my attraction towards him was 100% unhealthy... he is charming, smart, and absolutely adores me...
But I know very clearly that the 3 year we spent together, including 2 year living together, exhibit total co-dependent behaviors... I didn't know why I constantly went back to him after endless fights and disappointments... After reading the posts and experiences in this site...I realized that I had to shoulder a lot of the responsibilities for allowing the circumstances to go down, rather than pointing fingers at him...
Although we are "friends" now... He still calls me, tries to find out what I'm doing and sort of plays "mind game" with me...wanting to make me jealous, etc...
Now I am able to step back, look at what he is really doing, and not have an emotional response to it right away...although it is hard... I'm glad that I no longer get myself worked up in the head about what his response and my response...etc...
Because of the information in this website... I stop thinking about what "could have" happened if I stayed with him...He isn't getting help ...and will not get help anytime soon... I cannot help him... I realized that he is going down a downward spiral... And it won't miraculously get any better if I started seeing him again because drinking is his priority in life...
Again...Thanks for the postings...They are wonderful!
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10-25-2004, 10:17 AM
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