Family of Origin!
I come and read many of the posts on this forum, but almost never post anything. I am an 'anon', I have been surrounded by addiction and dysfunction my whole life.
I am writing today just because I feel so sad. This past weekend, I was there was an incident that forced me out of denial about my family & I just feel so sad about it.
My nephew is 16 and has been a problem around my kids (dd-9,ds-6) for quite some time. He acts inappropriately, sometimes sexually, mostly physically too violent with them. This weekend it happened again. No one was seriously hurt, but I realized that my kids CANNOT be around him. By allowing them to be, I am giving them a VERY BAD message. He shows virtually no remorse.
I am so sad that my nephew is so messed up. I have compassion in so far as I recognize he is the product of his environment. I used to spend quite a bit of time with him and truly liked him, he was a joyous child at one time. But, that doesn't change the fact that my kids are at risk around him. I just didn't want this to be true, so I kept believing the things that happened were isolated incidents.
In order to keep my kids away from him, I will have to stop attending most family functions. I cannot control whether he is there or not, only if we are. I guess I am mourning the loss of family. The saddest part is I have never really had a family, none of us are really close. But I still get those feelings of abandonment when I think of enforcing this boundary about my nephew!
I have been in recovery long enough to feel these feelings of sadness, real progress for me. Just keep wishing it wasn't true!
Thanks for listening.
God, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!