not so ugly truths - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

journeygal · 07-11-2004, 10:00 PM

Ok, confession time. It's supposed to be good for the soul, right?

Anyway, here's the deal. About a year ago, I had en epiphany at this site about my need to be needed. I realized that in order to feel secure in a relationship, I have to feel my partner needs me in some way. So when I found out Jack was an addict prior to us getting married, it was like, ok, this person has a serious problem, I can help him with it, he'll always need me so I should be safe in this relationship.

Isn't it scary how some minds work?

Anyway, I wrote about it and a lot of wise people here said that it's much better to be in a relationship based on mutual love, respect, and a more or less equal amount of give and take. And I agreed. Really. I did. I still do.

Lately Jack has been struggling a bit with his addiction. Nothing new here, he tends to go through this every year or so. But tonight, I realized that I find some sort of sick comfort in his little slips and relapses. And why is that? B/c every time he slips, his very first question is, "Are you going to leave me," and he never fails to tell me what a mess his life would be if I ever left him. Just like that, he needs me. And my little relationship addiction gets a nice shot in the ass. In other words, every time he gets a fix, I get one too.

So what happens when he gets back on the wagon and starts doing well again? I get all panicky b/c he no longer needs me. My safety net is gone. And I get to go through my own withdrawal.

There's nothing I want more than to be strong in my recovery and for Jack to have years and years of clean time. I want recovery to be the tie that binds us, not addiction. Let me tell ya, it sure sucks to realize I have such a long way to go and that my own addiction can be so deeply triggered by someone else's.

Sigh...oh well, I guess my awareness counts for something, right? :wink2:

smoke gets in my eyes · 07-12-2004, 07:04 AM

It counts for a lot Journey.

Being a substance abuser is so much more straightforward. Nobody needs alcohol, cigarettes, pot or crack. Except for the addicted no one suffers for the lack of those things. "Don't pick up" is not always the biggest part of the battle, but it is the marker for success. Being a codie is tricky, like being a food addict. We need people. People are good for us. Essential, like food. I quit smoking cigarettes almost a year ago. I only very rarely get a twinge of longing, but I know that if I gave in to one I would be puffing like a choochoo train within a week. The path to success is clearly defined ... don't have any. I have almost always eaten more than was good for me and since I quit smoking it really went haywire, so I'm dieting. "Don't have any" doesn't work. The hamburger is okay, but that triggers the desire for the fries which triggers the milkshake response. I have to put on the brakes several times a day. If you think about it, a food addict has to summon up the strength to "quit" at every meal. We "moderate", which most experts on substance abuse say will get you in trouble. Codies have to "moderate" with people. It's possible to remove ourselves from a certain person, but without vigilant attention we just wind up selecting other companions that allow or encourage us to behave true to form.

We've learned a lot, you and I, about our behavior. We've purged some of the worst habits. Letting ourselves dwell on where the paycheck went is kinda like eating white sugar with a spoon. But the paycheck is our business if we're in a living situation with someone. It's not wrong to notice it didn't show. But we have to "quit" right there in the face of a trigger. We can notice, we can work around, but we must not obsess or resent. DANG!!!!! When Jack or Dino falter in their own battles, we can support, but we must not rescue. DANG!!!!!

It's not a black and white battle for us. Relationships with other people provide safety, security and a sense of purpose. They're supposed to. We're a little tilted, us codies. We tend to want or expect other people to provide the lion's share of those things for us. Awareness is our best friend. We will always, always be faced with our drug of choice. We will always partake. We can't survive if we don't. And we will always have to "moderate"... which means "quit" ... in the face of those constant opportunities to wallow in our affliction.

That was a really long way of saying that awareness is all we have. If you have that, you have everything.

I love you!
Hugs,
Smoke

Gabe · 07-12-2004, 07:56 AM

JG,
One of the most important things I have learned here in Sober Recoveryville is the importance of awareness. It's key to moving on to the next step. That being said, I think you are in a state of positive motion.
You never cease to amaze me with your introspection and your growth.
Love you my friend.
Hugs,
Gabe

Paulie · 07-13-2004, 08:47 AM

You know JG my friend, I read this yesterday but could not find the words to respond to you, and I am not sure I have them this morning either.

What Smoke said is so right on (as usual). As you know I am an addict and raging codie as well, talk about a double whamie!! And today sober, living with the man that was my focus for so many years before getting sober...whamie again.

Needing to be needed is HUGE for me. Something I work on everyday. Learning to need only myself takes daily practice, over and over again, like walking away from the french fries.

I have said this before and will continue to say it. The insight that you find about yourself and share with us helps me so much. I talk alot about how when things are good with me I try and screw them up, I think what youa re talking about here is part of the reason. Things are good he might not need me around, mix that with the "I don't deserve him sober" and whamie right up side the head.

Recovery in any form from whatever is not easy. but we do it, we continue to grow and learn and work on awareness, our best friend as Smokie said!!!! Sometimes we slip but we get up, dust ourselves off and keep going.

Thank you JG for being a part of my recovery and helping me to grow and learn with you. Living in the 'gray area' I guess that is how it is supposed to be. That does not mean that gray is bad.

journeygal · 07-13-2004, 09:55 AM

(((((((Family)))))))

You guys rock. I'll admit, I was worried for a bit when no one responded! I was starting to feel like I'd grown a third eye! :sweat

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulie

Things are good he might not need me around, mix that with the "I don't deserve him sober" and whamie right up side the head.

That is it! Deep down somewhere, I think I feel that way, that I don't deserve him clean/sober. What is THAT about????

Smoke, what you said really put things into a completely different light for me. Living in the gray and moderating, that's not something I'm used to. I'm used to an all or nothing mentality. Moderating. Gray areas. Hmmm. What concepts.

I love french fries. In the past, I could never leave one on the plate. It was all or none. But lately, I'm learning to leave a few. It's hard, but I'm getting better. So maybe I am capable of moderating...:scratchch

Paulie · 07-13-2004, 12:06 PM

(((JG))) third eye

Moderation...yep this addict is trying to grasp that concept too.

Gabe · 07-13-2004, 12:12 PM

I'm not very good at the moderation thing either you guys.
And I am laughing my ass off that three Moderators have just copped to not being good at moderating.
Oh well, it's an honest program and all that.

Paulie · 07-13-2004, 12:16 PM

, didn't think of that.

journeygal · 07-13-2004, 01:17 PM

Me either!

Gabe · 07-13-2004, 01:22 PM

SSSShhhhhh...don't tell Jon about this thread, okay?

Dan · 07-13-2004, 01:32 PM

I have Jon's number too you know...
Wanna make a deal

splendra · 07-13-2004, 01:57 PM

JG-

I too saw your thread yesterday. My thoughts then and today are wow how honest and clear you are. I chewed on it all day and realize I feel the same way about being needed. Thanx for shining the light into that dark corner of my mind...

**Ann** · 07-13-2004, 04:49 PM

JG

I read your thread last night before I went to bed, and it was an eye opener for me too. I realize that my entire relationship with my son has been one of me rescuing him.

As you know, he is our foster son, and he came from an abusive family where everyong used something. Perhaps that was my first rescue, but I like to think that that one was just love. He came young and clean and we loved him like our own. He led a happy useful life, met a nice lady, had a son, then started using drugs and has been in and out of recovery ever since. In my super-codie days, I rescued him every time.

What hit home with me is that this time, when I truly believe that he has gone back out, I have no desire to rescue nor has he contacted me to ask me to. That is a major milestone for each of us.

Now he hasn't contacted me for weeks, and although I am okay with that, I am left wondering what our relationship will be now that "rescue" is not part of the equation. I think it hurts, just a little, to think that without "rescue" there may be nothing.

The thing is, if "rescue" is necessary for us to have a relationship, then sadly we will each go our own ways. But the brighter side is that if we manage to build a relationship based solely on love, respect and wanting to share each other's lives, then it will be a healthier, happier and more genuine relationship, and I'm willing to put it to the test to find out by just waiting and doing nothing about trying to find him. He knows where I am, and knowing that I am prepared to wait and see.

Thank you for this enlightenment. It's something I needed to see, and the time is right for me to see it.

Hugs
Ann

Gabe · 07-13-2004, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann

The thing is, if "rescue" is necessary for us to have a relationship, then sadly we will each go our own ways. But the brighter side is that if we manage to build a relationship based solely on love, respect and wanting to share each other's lives, then it will be a healthier, happier and more genuine relationship.

Thank you Ann, I love that.

Paulie · 07-13-2004, 04:58 PM

(((Ann)))

journeygal · 07-13-2004, 06:47 PM

Wow Ann.

It scares me to think of my marriage in that light, that it may be solely based on my need to rescue him. However, I think for once I will muster up a little more optimism than usual and choose to believe we have more than that. :wink2:

And I do believe once your son reappears, you guys will continue building your relationship based on love, respect, and a genuine, healthy desire to be a part of each other's lives. And I'm praying he comes back soon.

Love you,
JG

**Ann** · 07-13-2004, 07:43 PM

Gee, JG, I didn't think of it as scary, but more as enlightenment.

When a relationship is most focused on one person meeting the other person's needs, whether it is a need to be needed as you wrote, or a rescue the victim situation like mine, and when we want the relationship to be healthy and continue, then I think we need to do work in the other areas. No relationship can be one-sided, with one person doing all the work to meet the other person's needs. It has to be a mutual caring for each other, balanced by each person contributing something to the other in a healthy way.

As with most of our recovery growth, this requires change, beginning with ourselves.

I need to stop hovering, even mentally, and find other areas of our relationship that we both can share, like my granddaughter (you know, the perfect little angel that I brag about, LOL),

Right now, I think I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am using this time (the waiting time) as constructively as I can, keeping my balance and taking a big step back to see if I can find a little more clarity.

You really draw out the best in me, JG, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to reflect and learn.

Hugs
Ann

Gabe · 07-13-2004, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann

No relationship can be one-sided, with one person doing all the work to meet the other person's needs. It has to be a mutual caring for each other, balanced by each person contributing something to the other in a healthy way.

Okay so JG is bringing out the best in Ann, and Ann is bringing out the best in me. I love the circular nature of this place.
JG, I am just loving this thread. It has brought out the best in all of us.
Can we change the title to "not so ugly truths"?
I love my Sober Recoveryville family. I swear I do.

Dan · 07-13-2004, 08:11 PM

Yep. I'm just gonna sit here and listen.
See what it says over my avatar?
Yep.

**Ann** · 07-13-2004, 08:15 PM

Make yourself at home, Dan. Lot's of lightbulbs going off in here

Maybe, I'm amazed too, at how JG gets my mind working when it sometimes seems stuck.

Hugs
Ann

Gabe · 07-13-2004, 08:21 PM

Maybe I'm amazed at how we all play such an awesome part in each other's recovery. That is one of the gabillion reasons I'm glad I landed here one cold January night. It's been an uphilll ride ever since. Thank God for that. Thank God for that twice.

journeygal · 07-14-2004, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe

Maybe I'm amazed at how we all play such an awesome part in each other's recovery.

Yup, that's really what it's all about. All I did was manage to find the courage to come here and share something I was struggling with with the people who have made such an impact in my recovery. And in return, every response to this thread has opened my eyes to possibilities I never considered and probably never would have on my own.

Thanks to all of you for being here. And Dan, it's ok to share. Really. You have no idea how much you may be helping someone else.

JT · 07-14-2004, 09:00 AM

Quote:

The thing is, if "rescue" is necessary for us to have a relationship, then sadly we will each go our own ways.

That statement blows me away! And it exactly where I am with the Beav put into new words...the words I need to use to explain to him where I am.

JG...Ward's and my relationship changed a ton before, during and while I continue to recover. And it was certainly at risk when I started. I simply knew in my heart that I was not going to continue to live the way I was living. I was going to change and it was his choice if he wanted to join me.

Thinking about that now..it was likely my first actual step in letting go. As much as I loved him, my spirit was dieing a slow death.

I started small in the neediness area. First was dressing them....picking out what they wore.

Then was letting Ward make his own darn appt's

and make his own lunch

(he didn't like mine anyway).

It's like so many things in recovery...changing behaviors that no longer serve us.

Hugs,
JT

waterlily · 07-31-2004, 08:13 AM

I hadn't looked at this message board so far. Hope you don't mind me piping up! I'm really feeling different lately in my path (in a good way!)

But I would say that the change came for me when I accepted that my marriage might end, could end, and I would be OK. We talk about the relationship ending like it is the most terrible thing in life. I can't see it being worse than the pain that I felt every day, but at that time, I was embarrassed to tell my folks, etc. When I told them I wanted to leave, they already knew! We really can't hide all the things we think we're hiding!!!!!!

Right now, I feel like we should separate just to demystify that big fear and take it down to size.

Does this make any sens

07-11-2004, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
journeygal believer Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: walking in faith Posts: 1,030	not so ugly truths Ok, confession time. It's supposed to be good for the soul, right? Anyway, here's the deal. About a year ago, I had en epiphany at this site about my need to be needed. I realized that in order to feel secure in a relationship, I have to feel my partner needs me in some way. So when I found out Jack was an addict prior to us getting married, it was like, ok, this person has a serious problem, I can help him with it, he'll always need me so I should be safe in this relationship. Isn't it scary how some minds work? Anyway, I wrote about it and a lot of wise people here said that it's much better to be in a relationship based on mutual love, respect, and a more or less equal amount of give and take. And I agreed. Really. I did. I still do. Lately Jack has been struggling a bit with his addiction. Nothing new here, he tends to go through this every year or so. But tonight, I realized that I find some sort of sick comfort in his little slips and relapses. And why is that? B/c every time he slips, his very first question is, "Are you going to leave me," and he never fails to tell me what a mess his life would be if I ever left him. Just like that, he needs me. And my little relationship addiction gets a nice shot in the ass. In other words, every time he gets a fix, I get one too. So what happens when he gets back on the wagon and starts doing well again? I get all panicky b/c he no longer needs me. My safety net is gone. And I get to go through my own withdrawal. There's nothing I want more than to be strong in my recovery and for Jack to have years and years of clean time. I want recovery to be the tie that binds us, not addiction. Let me tell ya, it sure sucks to realize I have such a long way to go and that my own addiction can be so deeply triggered by someone else's. Sigh...oh well, I guess my awareness counts for something, right? :wink2: __________________ Whether they find recovery or not, we survive...and then we thrive. ~Gabe

07-12-2004, 07:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
smoke gets in my eyes 1000 Post Club Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: That's what I'd like to know. Posts: 2,432	It counts for a lot Journey. Being a substance abuser is so much more straightforward. Nobody needs alcohol, cigarettes, pot or crack. Except for the addicted no one suffers for the lack of those things. "Don't pick up" is not always the biggest part of the battle, but it is the marker for success. Being a codie is tricky, like being a food addict. We need people. People are good for us. Essential, like food. I quit smoking cigarettes almost a year ago. I only very rarely get a twinge of longing, but I know that if I gave in to one I would be puffing like a choochoo train within a week. The path to success is clearly defined ... don't have any. I have almost always eaten more than was good for me and since I quit smoking it really went haywire, so I'm dieting. "Don't have any" doesn't work. The hamburger is okay, but that triggers the desire for the fries which triggers the milkshake response. I have to put on the brakes several times a day. If you think about it, a food addict has to summon up the strength to "quit" at every meal. We "moderate", which most experts on substance abuse say will get you in trouble. Codies have to "moderate" with people. It's possible to remove ourselves from a certain person, but without vigilant attention we just wind up selecting other companions that allow or encourage us to behave true to form. We've learned a lot, you and I, about our behavior. We've purged some of the worst habits. Letting ourselves dwell on where the paycheck went is kinda like eating white sugar with a spoon. But the paycheck is our business if we're in a living situation with someone. It's not wrong to notice it didn't show. But we have to "quit" right there in the face of a trigger. We can notice, we can work around, but we must not obsess or resent. DANG!!!!! When Jack or Dino falter in their own battles, we can support, but we must not rescue. DANG!!!!! It's not a black and white battle for us. Relationships with other people provide safety, security and a sense of purpose. They're supposed to. We're a little tilted, us codies. We tend to want or expect other people to provide the lion's share of those things for us. Awareness is our best friend. We will always, always be faced with our drug of choice. We will always partake. We can't survive if we don't. And we will always have to "moderate"... which means "quit" ... in the face of those constant opportunities to wallow in our affliction. That was a really long way of saying that awareness is all we have. If you have that, you have everything. I love you! Hugs, Smoke __________________ It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life. 21st century proverb

07-13-2004, 08:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,519	You know JG my friend, I read this yesterday but could not find the words to respond to you, and I am not sure I have them this morning either. What Smoke said is so right on (as usual). As you know I am an addict and raging codie as well, talk about a double whamie!! And today sober, living with the man that was my focus for so many years before getting sober...whamie again. Needing to be needed is HUGE for me. Something I work on everyday. Learning to need only myself takes daily practice, over and over again, like walking away from the french fries. I have said this before and will continue to say it. The insight that you find about yourself and share with us helps me so much. I talk alot about how when things are good with me I try and screw them up, I think what youa re talking about here is part of the reason. Things are good he might not need me around, mix that with the "I don't deserve him sober" and whamie right up side the head. Recovery in any form from whatever is not easy. but we do it, we continue to grow and learn and work on awareness, our best friend as Smokie said!!!! Sometimes we slip but we get up, dust ourselves off and keep going. Thank you JG for being a part of my recovery and helping me to grow and learn with you. Living in the 'gray area' I guess that is how it is supposed to be. That does not mean that gray is bad. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

07-13-2004, 12:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,519	(((JG))) third eye Moderation...yep this addict is trying to grasp that concept too. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

07-13-2004, 12:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,519	, didn't think of that. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

07-12-2004, 07:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959	JG, One of the most important things I have learned here in Sober Recoveryville is the importance of awareness. It's key to moving on to the next step. That being said, I think you are in a state of positive motion. You never cease to amaze me with your introspection and your growth. Love you my friend. Hugs, Gabe

07-13-2004, 12:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959	I'm not very good at the moderation thing either you guys. And I am laughing my ass off that three Moderators have just copped to not being good at moderating. Oh well, it's an honest program and all that.

07-13-2004, 01:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
journeygal believer Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: walking in faith Posts: 1,030	Me either! __________________ Whether they find recovery or not, we survive...and then we thrive. ~Gabe

07-13-2004, 01:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959	SSSShhhhhh...don't tell Jon about this thread, okay?

07-13-2004, 01:32 PM	#11 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	I have Jon's number too you know... Wanna make a deal

07-13-2004, 01:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
splendra the girl can't help it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: splendraville Posts: 4,772 Blog Entries: 3	JG- I too saw your thread yesterday. My thoughts then and today are wow how honest and clear you are. I chewed on it all day and realize I feel the same way about being needed. Thanx for shining the light into that dark corner of my mind... __________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

07-13-2004, 04:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	JG I read your thread last night before I went to bed, and it was an eye opener for me too. I realize that my entire relationship with my son has been one of me rescuing him. As you know, he is our foster son, and he came from an abusive family where everyong used something. Perhaps that was my first rescue, but I like to think that that one was just love. He came young and clean and we loved him like our own. He led a happy useful life, met a nice lady, had a son, then started using drugs and has been in and out of recovery ever since. In my super-codie days, I rescued him every time. What hit home with me is that this time, when I truly believe that he has gone back out, I have no desire to rescue nor has he contacted me to ask me to. That is a major milestone for each of us. Now he hasn't contacted me for weeks, and although I am okay with that, I am left wondering what our relationship will be now that "rescue" is not part of the equation. I think it hurts, just a little, to think that without "rescue" there may be nothing. The thing is, if "rescue" is necessary for us to have a relationship, then sadly we will each go our own ways. But the brighter side is that if we manage to build a relationship based solely on love, respect and wanting to share each other's lives, then it will be a healthier, happier and more genuine relationship, and I'm willing to put it to the test to find out by just waiting and doing nothing about trying to find him. He knows where I am, and knowing that I am prepared to wait and see. Thank you for this enlightenment. It's something I needed to see, and the time is right for me to see it. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

07-13-2004, 04:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,519	(((Ann))) __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

07-13-2004, 06:47 PM	#16 (permalink)
journeygal believer Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: walking in faith Posts: 1,030	Wow Ann. It scares me to think of my marriage in that light, that it may be solely based on my need to rescue him. However, I think for once I will muster up a little more optimism than usual and choose to believe we have more than that. :wink2: And I do believe once your son reappears, you guys will continue building your relationship based on love, respect, and a genuine, healthy desire to be a part of each other's lives. And I'm praying he comes back soon. Love you, JG __________________ Whether they find recovery or not, we survive...and then we thrive. ~Gabe

07-13-2004, 07:43 PM	#17 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	Gee, JG, I didn't think of it as scary, but more as enlightenment. When a relationship is most focused on one person meeting the other person's needs, whether it is a need to be needed as you wrote, or a rescue the victim situation like mine, and when we want the relationship to be healthy and continue, then I think we need to do work in the other areas. No relationship can be one-sided, with one person doing all the work to meet the other person's needs. It has to be a mutual caring for each other, balanced by each person contributing something to the other in a healthy way. As with most of our recovery growth, this requires change, beginning with ourselves. I need to stop hovering, even mentally, and find other areas of our relationship that we both can share, like my granddaughter (you know, the perfect little angel that I brag about, LOL), Right now, I think I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am using this time (the waiting time) as constructively as I can, keeping my balance and taking a big step back to see if I can find a little more clarity. You really draw out the best in me, JG, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to reflect and learn. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

07-13-2004, 08:11 PM	#19 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	Yep. I'm just gonna sit here and listen. See what it says over my avatar? Yep.

07-13-2004, 08:15 PM	#20 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	Make yourself at home, Dan. Lot's of lightbulbs going off in here Maybe, I'm amazed too, at how JG gets my mind working when it sometimes seems stuck. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

07-13-2004, 08:21 PM	#21 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959	Maybe I'm amazed at how we all play such an awesome part in each other's recovery. That is one of the gabillion reasons I'm glad I landed here one cold January night. It's been an uphilll ride ever since. Thank God for that. Thank God for that twice.