 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
| |||||||
| Notices |
 |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
07-08-2004, 08:03 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
| ~Tears of Motherhood~
Being a mother involves tears...tears of heartache, tears of frustration and of concern, and tears of joy and deep felt bonding. I bought a dry erase board for my office last week. Haven't hung it up yet. My son just handed it to me.."Look what she did! She wrote in the back of your board." talking about his sister of course...oh summer mornings are fun!  Now usually I am quite nneurotic and obsessed about my office things, writings, papers etc, has to be just right...well..I started to holler."WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR??" ...But I started to read before I spoke...here is a poem my 9 year old wrote to me.... My mom shines like the moon and the stars and my mom is an angle and I hope she never changes. brought a tear to me eye..I still struggle with guilt over my addiction and how it affects my family, wasted time in my search for the 'magic pill"......if I had only known the elixir of a childs love....no pill would have ever tempted me. Just wanted to share the GOOD tears I have today.......
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~  |
|      |
|
07-08-2004, 08:13 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| believer  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,030
|
((((((((Tammie))))))) What a beautiful poem - happy tears indeed! I see your child has inherited your talent for writing. 
__________________   Whether they find recovery or not, we survive...and then we thrive. ~Gabe
|
|
| |
|
07-08-2004, 08:22 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
|
The little things...my God how HUGE they impact us...you know? I am sitting here..tears flowing...'satori' hitting me...that instant enlightment when another erroneous belief system is wiped away by the recogniziton and awareness that this moment you have witnessed a TRUTH so relevant and so healing..I know I probably sound like a drama queen..but being in oblivion from narcotics so long when you REALLY start to become aware of the TRUTHs that were always there..and that I detoured away from with those pills...it's like an earthquake..it truly is! The little things...they are tremendous forces in my life now.... :rose
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
|
| |
|
07-08-2004, 04:42 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| It is what it is!!!  Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,519
|
(((Tammie)))
__________________  I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR |
|
| |
|
07-09-2004, 07:21 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,915
|
Oh Tammie Reading your post gave me so much hope. My youngest daughter is nearly 9 and I love her so much. Guilt is no stranger to me either. I spend so much time worrying about what I may have done to scar my daughters. It consumes me. So thank you for sharing your experience. You sound like a wonderful Mommy!  |
|
| |
|
08-01-2004, 06:34 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Still hangin` on... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 336
| Wanted to share this.........
CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE If children live with criticism, They learn to condem. If children live with hostility, They learn to fight. If children live with ridicule, They learn to be shy. If children live with shame, They learn to feel guilty. If children live with tolerance, They learn to be patient. If children live with encouragement, They learn confidence. If children live with praise, They learn to appreciate. If children live with fairness, They learn justice. If children live with security, They learn to have faith. If children live with approval, They learn to like themselves. If children live with acceptance and friendship, They learn to find love in the world. Dorothy Law Nolte
__________________ "Our greastest glory consists not in ever falling, but rising everytime we fall." -Confucius |
|
| |
|
08-01-2004, 07:54 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2004 Location: York,Pa
Posts: 55
|
Thank you Ann25! Some ppl don't understand why I do the things I do, why I think the way I do and the standars I set for myself. the only 3 in that lil poem that i can relat to is criticism, ridicule and shame. I hope that when I have kids that I can be the parent that I never had but always wanted.
__________________ :+:* (Y) (Y) *:+ : :+:* (*,,) (,, ) *:+: | |___(')('')(")(")___| | To the world you're just one person, but to one person you are the world! |
|
| |
|
08-01-2004, 01:58 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Still hangin` on... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 336
| (((((((((((((vanilla)))))))))))))
Your Welcome! Im sorry you can only relate to the negitive--but I also can relate to those. We need to heal--and through recovery we can. Love, Ann 
__________________ "Our greastest glory consists not in ever falling, but rising everytime we fall." -Confucius |
|
| |
|
08-01-2004, 11:44 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,350
|
((((((((Mothers)))))))) ((((((((Dad's)))))))) even they have tears at times. but most of all (((((((((our Children)))))))))) because now that we are in recovery, we have been given a second chance become responsible for more than just ourselves! My mother had Ann's piece posted on her fridge. She found it but only after she had already raised nearly an entire baseball team. My family means so much to me today. I am presently helping a brother that never wanted me in his life again at one point. My dear Mother would have done anything for her troubled child(me) to find help with my alcoholic dilemma. Bummer was........ that it took her passing away for me to go on my last 9 month bender and finally accept help in Alcoholics Anonymous. Facts are facts and I still tear up a bit about this one at times, but today I believe my Mom knows that I've tapped into the most wonderful gift any alcoholic can ever recieve. I've had a spiritual awakening as the result of these 12 Steps through the Grace & Mercy of God. Hopefully many of you can help me keep it awakening instead of falling back asleep as sometimes it seems to do. Out of the mouth of babes rings loud and clear for me. In early sobriety my young son provided many pearls of wisdom but only once my ears were made ready to hear them. (((((((((2Stop, Ann and all SR members)))))))) whether your a parent or not. Kiss hearts of Spirit In Love & Service, Three Legs |
|
| |
|
08-02-2004, 07:28 AM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: York,Pa
Posts: 55
|
Ann, I might only be able to relate to the negative ones now but by getting help for me means that when I have children of my own they'll see the positive. It wasn't my mom's fault that that's all we saw or knew. She worked 2 jobs and my step dad was to be taking care of us but unless you count teaching my brother racist songs and stuff he didn't take care of us. I went against a lot of the bad stuff and have just now at 21 started to learn about god and the bible and all that but I thank BarbieDeb for that. I dunno if she still comes here but last year I think she posted the serenity prayer. I had never heard of it before and it hit me so I printed it out and stuck it all over the house. Hahaha! My mom didn't mind because she thinks that it is very true and it is my time to pick a religion and stuff. I'm getting what I needed when I was younger now. Well a lot more of it then before. My mom is actually a mom now. Though it didn't hit her until I made her go to therapy with me and the new therapist I got like a yr ago is the best therapist I have ever had and I've been through a lot since I was 8yr.
__________________ :+:* (Y) (Y) *:+ : :+:* (*,,) (,, ) *:+: | |___(')('')(")(")___| | To the world you're just one person, but to one person you are the world! |
|
| |
|
08-04-2004, 03:16 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Still hangin` on... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 336
|
((((((((((((((Three legs)))))))))))) Thank You! ((((((((((((((Vanilla))))))))))))))) Im glad that you have a relationship with your mother now--that is a bond that will always be important! Im still working on mine with my mother. We are close in a sense--but sometimes my resentments are overpowering and I need to step back and get a grip. Today I feel--and that is a scary thing for me. But today I know that I dont have to use no matter what!!! Ann
__________________ "Our greastest glory consists not in ever falling, but rising everytime we fall." -Confucius |
|
| |
|
08-05-2004, 06:47 AM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: York,Pa
Posts: 55
|
Thank you Ann! I still have resenemts towards my mom but sitting there with her and my therapist telling her a lot of things that she didn't know. She didn't know how much anger my brother and I had towards her when she kicked our step dad out. He was the only father I knew... but I didn't know he was hurting her. I was too young to understand a lot of the things that happened. I held it to my mom that she never protected me. A mother is to protect and she didn't!! But she worked so much that she didn't get to see everything. All she saw was the aftermath and sometimes it was like nothing had ever happened. She had no idea what he was doing to me. She thought it was just the normal sibling stuff but when I was 15 and came screaming out of the house and ran behind her because my brother was going through one of his fits... which she had never seen before. He tried to go right through her and she knocked him on his a**. That day she chose to have him removed from our house cause that day she realized if she didn't do something and something fast she was gonna come home and one of her kids was gonna be dead. I love my brother sooo much and I cried when they took him away but that was the last time he ever raised a hand at me but I still got the mental and verbal abuse from her up until the begining of this year well around March when she flipped and start throughing things and a few days later I made her come to therapy with me and my therapist explained to her that what she was doing was wrong and she did it one more time and I made her go back with me again... and that day she realized that everytime she told me I was stupid was just another scar on my heart and was just pushing it into my head. She had me thinking I could never move out that I'd always need her. Though yeah I still need her... I don't have a checking account... but if something happened tomorrow and I had to take care of myself that I can. There's stuff I don't know but I guess she never realized that even though sometimes I can't get things done as fast as she wants them done I still know how to do them and that's a + for me. I know a lot more then most my age sometimes I just get distracted and then I forget that there's whites in the washed or something but as soon as I remember I finish or try too. My mom and I are getting closer and my grandmother and I are growing apart cause she doesn't wanna let go that I'm not a lil girl anymore and the stuff she wants to let go with she tries to push me faster then what I'm ready for. Guess at this age ya can't have both. I dunno! Don't worry Ann! Every relationship takes time and though I lost all hope when it comes to my father they are making me go there just so I can get everything off my shoulder. My mom and I still got problems but right now I'm working on issues with my brother and my dad because they scarred me more then anyone. Though this is a time where my family says they're no good don't worry about them and my grandma doesn't understand that I have to go there. I have to get everything out so I can let go. Someday she'll understand... ok nevermind. She won't!
__________________ :+:* (Y) (Y) *:+ : :+:* (*,,) (,, ) *:+: | |___(')('')(")(")___| | To the world you're just one person, but to one person you are the world! |
|
| |
|
08-05-2004, 12:32 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Still hangin` on... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 336
| ((((((((((((((((((Vanilla)))))))))))))))) Thanks for sharing that with me. Means alot! You hang in there! You are a good person with a big heart! Stay positive and focused. I wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!!!!!! :rose Love, Ann P.S. I hope we didnt hijack this thread. If we did Im very sorry.
__________________ "Our greastest glory consists not in ever falling, but rising everytime we fall." -Confucius |
|
| |
|
08-06-2004, 10:52 AM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: York,Pa
Posts: 55
|
Thank you Ann! Sorry if we did hijack this thread.
__________________ :+:* (Y) (Y) *:+ : :+:* (*,,) (,, ) *:+: | |___(')('')(")(")___| | To the world you're just one person, but to one person you are the world! |
|
| |
|
| Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Off topic I know, but I feel so stressed out, motherhood, etc | meli2005 | Friends and Family of Alcoholics | 11 | 04-11-2006 09:58 AM |
Linear Mode
