how can i be a good mother

[tigerlily]

how can i be a good mother when i am just beginning to learn how to take care of myself? I have a 2 1/2 yr old son who is the light of my life but i feel that i am away at meetings too much, reading my literature too much, working my steps too much and being depressed too much. He needs so much love and attention and I want to give him all and more but like i said i cant even give myself any love. any suggestions?

[bikewench]

Hey Gurl...

My baby was 2 1/2 when I went into recovery. She lived through endless phone calls... me reading constantly... my meetings... my flip outs cause I was still a basket case...

I always told her that I didn't learn how to live right.... and I had to relearn... but I tried to include her as much as I could... and I always let her know that she was the most important thing in my life.



She's 18 now... and other than common spazzes between us... she hasn't given me a lick of trouble. She level headed... lives one day at a time... knows what's her **** and what isn't... and is very loving to me.

Your going to be fine Tiger... cause it's very apparent that your little guy is the most precious thing in your life.... your lil gift from God. ; )

[Dan]

Somedays, my boy and girl (4 and 6) remind me that I can't work too hard for my recovery. Their resilience and unconditional love have kept me going when all else looked hopeless. This is a win win thing, no matter if we feel guilty and selfish at times.

[Gabe]

Hey tigerlily,
When it comes to motherhood...I think guilt is a part of the recipe.
Try flipping the coin and thinking about how much your recovery means to your son. It's work you're doing to assure that he has a healthy mother. That is a good thing.
So now...repeat after me:
You are a good mother.
You do love your son.
Your recovery is the best gift you can give to him and to yourself.
Hugs,
Gabe

[best]

Originally Posted by Gabe

Hey tigerlily,
When it comes to motherhood...I think guilt is a part of the recipe.
Try flipping the coin and thinking about how much your recovery means to your son. It's work you're doing to assure that he has a healthy mother. That is a good thing.
So now...repeat after me:
You are a good mother.
You do love your son.
Your recovery is the best gift you can give to him and to yourself.
Hugs,
Gabe

AMEN

Well put and so so true.

[Chy]

You are a good mother who is teaching your child by example the wonderful aspects in life now that your sober. Be patient with yourself, it takes some getting used to but it will be okay and your son is very lucky his mommy got help when he's so young. I wish I could say the same.

[SusannC]

I agree with the others Tigerlilly, you are doing the best thing for your son by showing him the importance of self-love. This is going to make you a stronger parent. It can never hurt for your children to see you caring about YOU! And it does not diminish how much you care about them. Take care.

Love,
Susann