Alcoholic father shoved me to the floor

[rubbersoul]

Hello,

I love both my parents very much and I'm very protective of them. I know they love me very much too. However, my father and I are both alcoholics and while drinking with my parents the other weekend my father and I got into a screaming arguement (actually it was him doing the screaming and I was just refusing to do what he was telling me to do). He then threw me to the floor because I wouldn't listen to him. This is the second time in my life he's pushed me. He then went on to ridicule me about my emotional problems. We very rarely argue, especially like that. He's apologized profusely and I know he is very sorry but how can I trust him again?

You're taught that if the person you're in a relationship EVER physically hurts you that you run away as fast as you can because it will just escalate. Why would this be any different in a relationship with your parent? I'm very confused and hurt.

He says he wants to stop drinking and he's going to try to quit. This is definitely a new thing - he never said that before. I don't know, can anybody relate?

[AngelwithWings]

Yes, I can relate in a way.
I had a relationship where the person did hit, did apologize and could not carry through with any changes. It escalated and a lot of damage was done. I've moved on, but definitely feel the scars of that and they impact on me pretty much daily in my distrust of people with certain backgrounds.

My dad was pretty scary when I was younger. I was hit.
He did apologize, he did stop drinking and he never hit me again. Our relationship definitely improved the older both of us got. I don't feel anything but love and good memories of my dad.

The whole "run away" thing is often said - I really have no opinions on blanket statements like that other than I personally never found them helpful. Many people do need to get out, get away and never look back. I just think that's a pretty huge thing to say when I know very little about their situation.