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|10-11-2011, 06:16 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
hi. this is my first time to post. i'm a recovering addict with 11 months sober. my story of codependancy relates to a woman that i had an affair with. we were both married and we both cheated on our spouses. i was in active addiction at the time. she is a non-adddict. we were together for 4 years. most of it in secret. we left . spouses for each other. we were co-workers in same departmemnt. i told her i was an addict from the beginning. she said that was ok as long as i came to her when i was about to use. of course i didn't do that and used in secret. but she knew it. after i seperated from my wife, i went downhill fast with using. i knew my affair was wrong but coludn"t help myself. so, to make a long story short, my affair with her ended very badly. i had issues of cheating on her and she found out. she put a restraining order on me. am i cray for still wanting her?
|10-12-2011, 05:41 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
With all due respect, I don't believe the issue here is whether or not you are crazy to want to be with this woman.
I think the issue is whether you are at a place in your life where you are able to be in a relationship at all--and from what you're saying it appears that the answer is "no". You will be ready for a relationship when you are able to treat your partner with the respect she deserves, which means, among many other things, not lying to her or cheating on her.
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'"
-- Jedi Master Yoda
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