codependancy

[mbritt]

hi. this is my first time to post. i'm a recovering addict with 11 months sober. my story of codependancy relates to a woman that i had an affair with. we were both married and we both cheated on our spouses. i was in active addiction at the time. she is a non-adddict. we were together for 4 years. most of it in secret. we left . spouses for each other. we were co-workers in same departmemnt. i told her i was an addict from the beginning. she said that was ok as long as i came to her when i was about to use. of course i didn't do that and used in secret. but she knew it. after i seperated from my wife, i went downhill fast with using. i knew my affair was wrong but coludn"t help myself. so, to make a long story short, my affair with her ended very badly. i had issues of cheating on her and she found out. she put a restraining order on me. am i cray for still wanting her?

[onlythetruth]

mbritt:

With all due respect, I don't believe the issue here is whether or not you are crazy to want to be with this woman.

I think the issue is whether you are at a place in your life where you are able to be in a relationship at all--and from what you're saying it appears that the answer is "no". You will be ready for a relationship when you are able to treat your partner with the respect she deserves, which means, among many other things, not lying to her or cheating on her.