Likes to be home but not alone - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

unjuicedevo · 03-14-2010, 06:42 PM

I'm new here, great board so far. I'm early in my third year of recovery. Pretty much divorced except for formalizing it. I've always been the type to stay home and doesn't like to go out and socialize. Heck I don't even really now how to do that. Which leaves me with the problem of making friends and hopefully finding someone to share life with. I know that can happen in AA but I'm not much of a meeting goer and that's not really the purpose of it anyhow.

So I guess I'm asking for suggestions. How is it done? Maybe get involved with some club or social cause? Find some interesting noncredit classes? I don't know.

I just don't want a repeat of my 20 something years working the day job and going home to party. I'm 38 now and my son is halfway to being an adult. I really don't think I want any more children. I just want a friend to share the ups and downs of living life.

Ceres · 03-15-2010, 08:52 PM

We're in the same boat.

Although, I've built a solid foundation of friendships in the meeting rooms. So, I can only relate my experience there. Meetings are about fellowshipping also. I always show up a half an hour early. If I didn't do that, I'd never have got to talking with the people who are now my real "friends". We socialize, we hang out at diners and coffee houses. These relationships have moved far beyond the rooms.

Anyway, what better groups of people to have as friends than those who are in recovery with you.

Besides that, coffeehouses are cool anyway, plus you can bring a lap-top. :-)

**Astro** · 03-15-2010, 09:10 PM

Totally agree with Alizerin, recovery meetings are a great way to get associated with some pretty healthy people (not all, but some

) The majority of the true friendships I have today were nurtured in the rooms of AA. I show up early, do service work, go out for coffee or dinner afterwards, and stay in touch over the weekends.

Doing volunteer & charity work, and getting involved with a local church has blessed my life with more relationships.

For me it's one of the greatest gifts of recovery, to make friends and be of usefulness to others.

barb dwyer · 03-19-2010, 06:01 PM

I'm with them.

The 'purpose' of meeting sis what it is...
but in order for the primary purpose to continue to serve,
all the other socializing comes into play as well.

We have to learn how to socialize in a healthy manner
it's as much a part of healing as the not drinking....

funny.
I was just making this point to someone in another conversation today.

03-14-2010, 06:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
unjuicedevo Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 18	Likes to be home but not alone I'm new here, great board so far. I'm early in my third year of recovery. Pretty much divorced except for formalizing it. I've always been the type to stay home and doesn't like to go out and socialize. Heck I don't even really now how to do that. Which leaves me with the problem of making friends and hopefully finding someone to share life with. I know that can happen in AA but I'm not much of a meeting goer and that's not really the purpose of it anyhow. So I guess I'm asking for suggestions. How is it done? Maybe get involved with some club or social cause? Find some interesting noncredit classes? I don't know. I just don't want a repeat of my 20 something years working the day job and going home to party. I'm 38 now and my son is halfway to being an adult. I really don't think I want any more children. I just want a friend to share the ups and downs of living life.

03-15-2010, 09:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,826	Totally agree with Alizerin, recovery meetings are a great way to get associated with some pretty healthy people (not all, but some ) The majority of the true friendships I have today were nurtured in the rooms of AA. I show up early, do service work, go out for coffee or dinner afterwards, and stay in touch over the weekends. Doing volunteer & charity work, and getting involved with a local church has blessed my life with more relationships. For me it's one of the greatest gifts of recovery, to make friends and be of usefulness to others. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

03-19-2010, 06:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	I'm with them. The 'purpose' of meeting sis what it is... but in order for the primary purpose to continue to serve, all the other socializing comes into play as well. We have to learn how to socialize in a healthy manner it's as much a part of healing as the not drinking.... funny. I was just making this point to someone in another conversation today. __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

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03-15-2010, 08:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ceres Go ask the Multivax Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,481 Blog Entries: 42	We're in the same boat. Although, I've built a solid foundation of friendships in the meeting rooms. So, I can only relate my experience there. Meetings are about fellowshipping also. I always show up a half an hour early. If I didn't do that, I'd never have got to talking with the people who are now my real "friends". We socialize, we hang out at diners and coffee houses. These relationships have moved far beyond the rooms. Anyway, what better groups of people to have as friends than those who are in recovery with you. Besides that, coffeehouses are cool anyway, plus you can bring a lap-top. :-)

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