Confused - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ElegantlyWasted · 09-18-2009, 05:39 PM

Repost: originally was missposted in the ladies only area. Guess that explains the excellent quality of responses before it was removed. Smile!

GF went out last night with girlfriends. Called me from a bar drunk and said she was comming over. Didn't happen. Called three hous later still slurring and said she was home and forgot about talking with me earlier. I'm not sure whether to take this at face value. I consider her an alcohol abuser, but not an alcoholic. Thanks I advance for your takes on what is going on.

freya · 09-18-2009, 10:01 PM

My "take" on it????

I really would not like to be treated like that. It would hurt me and make me angry. I would not want to be in an intimate primary relationship with someone who would treat me like this.

I think a better question might be: What's your "take" on it?

Do you like being treated this way?

How exactly does it make you feel?

Is this what you want from your primary intimate relationship?

freya

Cynay · 09-18-2009, 10:23 PM

Welcome... I dont have a take on that.... Because I dont know her, but you do.

Why dont you tell me some more history, maybe how your feeling about it... does this happen often, how long you have been dating etc...

ElegantlyWasted · 09-19-2009, 01:34 PM

Backstory.... We have been going out for about a year. I have been dried out for about 2 Months. How it makes me feel: confused, angery, manipulated and not knowing if I should feel that way. We have since talked it out. And I have decided to believe her. She is a professional matchmaker and was meeting with some
of her female client.

left4lonely · 09-19-2009, 06:40 PM

for what its worth, i say make it absolutely clear that if it happens again, you dont need her in your life. if it happens after that, then her abuse may be more serious than previously thought and she has a decision to make about that. if she decides she prefers not to continue abusing then maybe it could work out. otherwise, i say protect yourself and end it.

09-18-2009, 05:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
ElegantlyWasted Excellence... not Perfection Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: AZ Posts: 1,190 Blog Entries: 8	Confused Repost: originally was missposted in the ladies only area. Guess that explains the excellent quality of responses before it was removed. Smile! GF went out last night with girlfriends. Called me from a bar drunk and said she was comming over. Didn't happen. Called three hous later still slurring and said she was home and forgot about talking with me earlier. I'm not sure whether to take this at face value. I consider her an alcohol abuser, but not an alcoholic. Thanks I advance for your takes on what is going on. __________________ "We're all told at some point in time that we can no longer play the children's game, we just don't...we don't know when that's gonna be. Some of us are told at eighteen, some of us are told at forty, but we're all told."

09-18-2009, 10:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
freya Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 1,547	My "take" on it???? I really would not like to be treated like that. It would hurt me and make me angry. I would not want to be in an intimate primary relationship with someone who would treat me like this. I think a better question might be: What's your "take" on it? Do you like being treated this way? How exactly does it make you feel? Is this what you want from your primary intimate relationship? freya __________________ *Working the Steps isn't about me acquiring power; working the Steps is about removing the things that block me from being a channel for God's Power.*

09-18-2009, 10:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
Cynay Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,836	Welcome... I dont have a take on that.... Because I dont know her, but you do. Why dont you tell me some more history, maybe how your feeling about it... does this happen often, how long you have been dating etc... __________________ Cynay "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

09-19-2009, 01:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
ElegantlyWasted Excellence... not Perfection Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: AZ Posts: 1,190 Blog Entries: 8	Backstory.... We have been going out for about a year. I have been dried out for about 2 Months. How it makes me feel: confused, angery, manipulated and not knowing if I should feel that way. We have since talked it out. And I have decided to believe her. She is a professional matchmaker and was meeting with some of her female client. __________________ "We're all told at some point in time that we can no longer play the children's game, we just don't...we don't know when that's gonna be. Some of us are told at eighteen, some of us are told at forty, but we're all told."

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09-19-2009, 06:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
left4lonely queen of de nile Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 44 Blog Entries: 51	for what its worth, i say make it absolutely clear that if it happens again, you dont need her in your life. if it happens after that, then her abuse may be more serious than previously thought and she has a decision to make about that. if she decides she prefers not to continue abusing then maybe it could work out. otherwise, i say protect yourself and end it.

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