moving out - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ssq5509 · 07-20-2009, 02:06 AM

75 days clean...

Went into a recovery center in May...came home a week ago tomorrow to come home to an awkward situation with my girlfriend..

.she loved the indepedance she had while I was gone...I agreed...and relieved her by finding my own place and moving in the following friday...
Going to meetings and just realizing that I have no control over her...

the fear of her moving on scares me...
We both agreed that we would still date (be together)...but live in separate places..
Ive never had my own apartment......
And its my sober haven ya know?
Finished my steps...that totally changed my life.
thats why I keep coming back to those meetings..
I want that same high....

...or just entertainment value...lol

I cant but feel like there is something missing......

Cynay · 07-20-2009, 01:49 PM

Congrads on your clean time !!!

I have often found that relationships change when major changes happen to one person or another. Before I found my own recovery in al-anon and Coda I would seek out unhealthy people, today they do not apeal to me.

Have faith that if she is the one for you it will happen, and until then just keep working on yourself and your recovery. Getting use to change is not easy and takes time but it is. SO worth it

SCRedhead · 07-25-2009, 01:37 AM

Hey Congratulations on your 75 days! I agree with Cynay--focus on you and your sobriety and if you two are meant to be together...well, you will be!
I do not have a boyfriend or a hubby right now and I'm very thankful for that. I've been told not to get in to any serious relationship for the first year of sobriety and I think that's a good idea. I've been sober 126 days and can see how very different I am in this short period of time. So, who knows what I'll be like at 365 days sober. Maybe then I will have more to offer someone. Maybe then, I'll know better what I really want. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.
Take care of yourself and remember "Keep Comin' Back...It works if you work it!"

07-20-2009, 02:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
ssq5509 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: tucson, az Posts: 7	moving out 75 days clean... Went into a recovery center in May...came home a week ago tomorrow to come home to an awkward situation with my girlfriend.. .she loved the indepedance she had while I was gone...I agreed...and relieved her by finding my own place and moving in the following friday... Going to meetings and just realizing that I have no control over her... the fear of her moving on scares me... We both agreed that we would still date (be together)...but live in separate places.. Ive never had my own apartment...... And its my sober haven ya know? Finished my steps...that totally changed my life. thats why I keep coming back to those meetings.. I want that same high.... ...or just entertainment value...lol I cant but feel like there is something missing......

07-20-2009, 01:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cynay Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,836	Congrads on your clean time !!! I have often found that relationships change when major changes happen to one person or another. Before I found my own recovery in al-anon and Coda I would seek out unhealthy people, today they do not apeal to me. Have faith that if she is the one for you it will happen, and until then just keep working on yourself and your recovery. Getting use to change is not easy and takes time but it is. SO worth it __________________ Cynay "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

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07-25-2009, 01:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
SCRedhead Enjoying Sobriety Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South Carolina Posts: 142	Hey Congratulations on your 75 days! I agree with Cynay--focus on you and your sobriety and if you two are meant to be together...well, you will be! I do not have a boyfriend or a hubby right now and I'm very thankful for that. I've been told not to get in to any serious relationship for the first year of sobriety and I think that's a good idea. I've been sober 126 days and can see how very different I am in this short period of time. So, who knows what I'll be like at 365 days sober. Maybe then I will have more to offer someone. Maybe then, I'll know better what I really want. That's what I'm hoping for anyway. Take care of yourself and remember "Keep Comin' Back...It works if you work it!"

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