Foster family.

[SpeedyJason]

Okay, so I'm fairly new to the whole foster family stuff, I've been here for...I think about 2 months. I am 18, and yes, I can move out but I do not have to and my foster parents have graciously allowed me to stay which I am grateful for because I don't necessarily have to money to move out. The only thing that bothers me is that I always feel like a guest here, I don't really feel like I belong here or that I could actually treat this place as a real home. My foster parents are great and care about me a lot and I can tell that. They take good care of me and my sister. If any of you have had any experience with being in a foster home... do you ever feel like you this is your home? Or is it just gonna always feel like this till you leave... I mean really, we are just guests here...we're with people we don't really know and have never met before and we're staying in their house. It just bothers me...

[bugsworth]

Hey Speedy...I was also a Foster child who aged out of the system at 21 (21 cause I attended college) I stayed in one home for a long time and always felt out of place...it's hard not to. Don't let it define you. Your home always winds up being where your heart is. You are young and have your whole life to find a place to call home...a place that will be yours...stay strong.

[Freedom1990]

Jason, my 21 year old doesn't read or post here, but I'll ask her about her experience tomorrow (I'll be in bed when she gets off work tonight).

I know she's still very close to her former foster family, and it's been 4 years since she was placed back with me. She always told me she thought of them as her second family.

[SpeedyJason]

So I guess some people click with their's and some people just don't.. hm.

[SpeedyJason]

Freedom, did you by any chance talk to her? Sorry, I'm just curious to know her view point..

[Chamabama]

Also a foster kid! I was moved around a lot in a system that didn't/doesn't have many homes. Spent most of my time in group homes and various temporary placements. When I finally got a permanent placement I was 16 so I was only there for 2 years before I aged out.

It was a very good home for me. But it was never my home or my family.

That being said, I have built my own "family" of close friends. Nice thing about building your own family is that you get to pick the people in it! And perhaps because of our childhood, my sister and I are much closer than most people seem to be with their siblings.

Sounds like you got placed with your sister. You're very lucky. I guess my only advice would be to try to cherish that bond with her and carefully start building your own family.

It's a tough life! But it will work out!

I wish you the best!

[SpeedyJason]

bumpty bump bump bump

There must be more people?? Or maybe this forum isn't really popular enough... any feedback would be appreciated.

[WLDKATZ]

hiyas babe!!!! hope all is well with you, I know I tried to keep in touch with my foster family after my program ended but it was always something or other was gettting in the way.

[Chamabama]

What kind of feedback are you looking for?

[Daisy09]

Hi Jay,

I have no personal experience with the foster care system, but had some friends in college who were in foster care. Both of them were pretty young (6 & 8) when the were with their foster families, one was eventually adopted by them, and one went back with her parents in high school, but always kept in close contact with her foster family. I think the age is the key. You've only been there for two months, and you're swiftly becoming an adult, so it might be tougher for you to really feel "at home". How's your sister adapting? It might be easier for her to adjust because she's still so young. Just my thoughts...

The important thing to remember is that they care for you and about you. Maybe it's OK to feel like a long term guest, just remember that you are a welcome guest.

Hope all is well in general,
Daisy

[SpeedyJason]

Thanks for the reminder Daisy
Kirby seems to be adapting fine, maybe you're right about the whole age thing.. I really don't know.

Originally Posted by Chamabama

What kind of feedback are you looking for?

I guess I didn't really use the right word, I didn't really mean "feedback", just other people's experiences in foster care..

[Live]

Well, I am an old lady and this isn't really foster care...

but I just got a divorce and moved across the country to stay as a roomie with my best friend.
I do have the advantage that i own a travel trailer that is mine and is full of my stuff.

But, while I am really wonderfully comfortable with my friend and have become comfortable in our home, no, it is still her home and I will always feel that way.
She has gone out of her way for me to feel at home and like I am home, God love her,
but I do know the difference, however I am just wonderfully grateful...and the roomie thing just keeps getting better as we work together to be a team.