Life is a little crazy right now...

[youknow]

Wow, too much to say what all has led to this point. I really hope I can get it back on track but I have doubts. I lost my dream job the other day after being on it for a week (seriously). My wife now says she's done with me and I have virtually no where to turn for support.

To put my job loss in context, I had been planning the transition to the new job since March, earlier this year. I had a contract that I had to wait out with my other job and once it ended I was supposed to start the new one. In the meantime, I picked up some side work here and there to help make it along with my wife's income. I also sold off one of our cars (actually my primary vehicle which was paid off) to keep things rolling along until my start date. Then I found out that the guy who hired me had been let go due to "restructuring", which came along with a merger. So he gave me the contact info for the person who had replaced him.

Almost immediately, I noticed some potential issues that might come up. My start date came and went. They instead made me a lesser offer and essentially said "take it or leave it". All of this on the fact that I had brought them one of the largest deals that they will ever see for our industry.

So I started and everything was great. By the end of the week however, I had apparently given them reason to doubt me due to my partying and arriving hours late one day. We were at a trade show so at night I would want to do things. So I get a message stating that we were done and it wasn't up for discussion. Basically boiling down to they would not trust me to work from my home location away from their offices.

So I told my wife after getting the message and she flipped out. Called her parents and things were said. Her parents are on her side and are advising her to leave me. We have a young child and she says that she's taking him too. She seems dead serious about leaving so I'm trying to figure things out. I honestly can't imagine not being their to raise our son, get him ready for school in the morning, help with his homework, laugh with him, anything and everything etc.

Yes, there's a history of me binge drinking. This has gotten worse since college where we first met 12 years ago, and she's since put up a wall around her. There's been an emotional disconnect somewhere along the way it seems. She drinks too but has never been a big drinker. Me on the other hand, once I start I don't no when to stop.

So here I am, unemployed, depressed, doubting myself, no one to turn to, and maybe no where to live in the near future. The good news is that I have pledged to stop drinking and put it behind me this past weekend. I actually feel (physically) really good since Saturday. That was when I stopped. So 3 or 4 days only but I don't feel like having a drink. It's surprising seeing how I'm sitting at home right now with no appointments to meet and no where to go.

I'm trying to get my wife to go to counseling with me but she said she wouldn't go and if I felt like I needed it then do it, otherwise I needed to take care of myself and she's looking forward to starting her life over without me. At one point, she did say that she would go just one time just so I knew that she was serious about leaving.

Anyone have any thoughts, advice? I'm trying to see a family counselor and maybe get an appointment with a doctor. I don't want to get on medication but it may help. I know without drinking I can be the husband and dad that people expect me to be. Even with the drinking, I've always been a great dad, just not always there for my wife as she says.