Recovering Alcoholics - dating sites (casual)

[SS234]

I was seeing a guy for about a year. He's been in recovery for fifteen + years. Quit in his early twenties.

He ended things because he couldn't commit. I liked him so this was hard.

A couple months after things were over, I had a feeling he might be on a particular dating site (I won't mention the exact one here) because he mentioned friends of his that were on it. It has three sections, one of them is for casual things only (not looking for a relationship) and can get detailed about exactly what they're "looking for".

Anyway, I found him on it. Are these sort of sites common for guys? As a female, it's hard to understand. Sites for people looking for only one thing?

We were not in contact and he came back. I'm trying to figure out what to do. Is this sort of casual dating site another form of addiction for those in recovery or something normal single guys do?

I'm hoping it's just something he checked out for fun and never really pursued anything - not sure if I'm being a prude in thinking people shouldn't do this sort of thing or if I should watch out.

My gut feels like it's something he was just having fun with and not meeting up with people randomly.

[Rowan]

I met my boyfriend online through a dating site. He and I had both posted profiles in the dating section. What portion of the site did you find your partner on?
Why not just ask him about it? Lots of people go online to find dating partners, and it's usually harmless. Unless you saw him in a particularly kinky section - I wouldn't worry about it. But definitely talk to him about it.

[SS234]

Thanks for the reply.

We did not meet online. After we broke up, I found him online. And he was in the "intimate" section instead of the other sections on that site for relationships/dating.

Now I'm not sure if it's normal for guys to be on that sort of site or if I should be careful. Still like him so thinking about it since he came back.

[Rowan]

I wasn't clear - I was just sharing my experience, in that I met my boyfriend online.

If he had been in the intimate section, it is highly unlikely I would have contacted him. In my experience, members in that section are looking for sex.