Here we go again... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Susan67 · 04-11-2008, 10:46 AM

I am so glad I found this site. I am so confused and afraid. My AH told me this morning he smokes a joint every time after he meets with his probation officer. He rec'd his 5th drunk driving 12/2005 just 4 months after we were married. He was a heavy pot smoker and a daily drinker. To this day he still says he is NOT an alcoholic. He did 4 months in jail this last time, we spent ten thousand dollars on all his fines and lawyer fees. We are broke, so broke. I am going nuts here and he thinks everything is great. Please, any helpful info would be so appreciated.

anvilhead · 04-11-2008, 10:55 AM

i'm so sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but i hope you find some good info and support!!! it doesn't sound like you're the crazy one, susan............but it does sound like you've been living a long time in someone else's crazy little world.......!!!!

Japic05 · 04-11-2008, 01:08 PM

Susan,

I had written a reply to your post & poof it went out into cyber space - so here I am trying again.

Welcome to SR - this is a wonderful resource for help in learning to cope with how we have been affected by another person's drinking.

I have several loved ones that struggle with alcoholism/addiction. I have found that attending al-anon meetings, posting & reading on SR, reading recovery literature, talking with recovery friends and learning to take care of me helps in dealing with the affects of this disease.

Please continue reaching out for help in your situation. You deserve it!!
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

emack321 · 04-12-2008, 08:26 AM

I worked with addicts for years and they taught me so much. I wanted to pass what they told me on to others looking for information and education. I put it in an ebook. You might want to look at this site and see if you think this book will help you.

newaddiction

I've had great feedback from people who read it.

Susan67 · 04-13-2008, 05:04 AM

Thank-You for the feedback, it makes me feel better just knowing there are others out there who truly understand what I am going thru. I can't talk to anyone about these feelings I have because nobody in my life who understands. I say the serenity prayer many times during the day, I struggle with having the wisdom to know the difference. I confuse myself with true love for my husband and can not imagine my life without him but I am always looking for a way out...is that "normal"? Then again, is this MY normal? This is what I struggle with everyday. I'm going to go for a walk and talk to GOD. Thanks for listening.

RosieM · 04-13-2008, 05:51 AM

Susan, you are definitely not alone. Just look at all the people on this site! I thought my husband and I were so great together, and then the hiding of the bottles and binge drinking started. He drove drunk all the time, and in February ran head-on into a family of four in a mini-van, injuring everyone. He's facing multiple felony DUI charges now. We were separated at the time because of the drinking and his behavior. I had finally realized that he cared about drinking more than he cared about our life together. Thank God no one was killed in the wreck, but it could have happened so easily.

Is this really the man you fell in love with, or is the man you fell in love with just a memory now? I feel like I clung to the memory for so long after the man I fell in love with was essentially gone. Would you want your daughter to be living the way you are? These are the questions I asked myself.

Best of luck, please keep us posted.

04-11-2008, 10:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
Susan67 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: michigan Posts: 2	Here we go again... I am so glad I found this site. I am so confused and afraid. My AH told me this morning he smokes a joint every time after he meets with his probation officer. He rec'd his 5th drunk driving 12/2005 just 4 months after we were married. He was a heavy pot smoker and a daily drinker. To this day he still says he is NOT an alcoholic. He did 4 months in jail this last time, we spent ten thousand dollars on all his fines and lawyer fees. We are broke, so broke. I am going nuts here and he thinks everything is great. Please, any helpful info would be so appreciated.

04-11-2008, 01:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
Japic05 I have a no no & will use it Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 3,201	Susan, I had written a reply to your post & poof it went out into cyber space - so here I am trying again. Welcome to SR - this is a wonderful resource for help in learning to cope with how we have been affected by another person's drinking. I have several loved ones that struggle with alcoholism/addiction. I have found that attending al-anon meetings, posting & reading on SR, reading recovery literature, talking with recovery friends and learning to take care of me helps in dealing with the affects of this disease. Please continue reaching out for help in your situation. You deserve it!! Wishing you Serenity & Joy, Rita
	__________________ HP, if my prayer limits Your will and Your plan for my life, please disregard my request. Serenity is always available to me, but it is my job to seek it where it can be found. Courage to Change pg 346

04-12-2008, 08:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
emack321 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Windsor NY Posts: 24	Please help I worked with addicts for years and they taught me so much. I wanted to pass what they told me on to others looking for information and education. I put it in an ebook. You might want to look at this site and see if you think this book will help you. newaddiction I've had great feedback from people who read it.

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04-11-2008, 10:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
anvilhead cheerfully retired Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,628	i'm so sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but i hope you find some good info and support!!! it doesn't sound like you're the crazy one, susan............but it does sound like you've been living a long time in someone else's crazy little world.......!!!!

04-13-2008, 05:04 AM	#5 (permalink)
Susan67 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: michigan Posts: 2	Thank-You for the feedback, it makes me feel better just knowing there are others out there who truly understand what I am going thru. I can't talk to anyone about these feelings I have because nobody in my life who understands. I say the serenity prayer many times during the day, I struggle with having the wisdom to know the difference. I confuse myself with true love for my husband and can not imagine my life without him but I am always looking for a way out...is that "normal"? Then again, is this MY normal? This is what I struggle with everyday. I'm going to go for a walk and talk to GOD. Thanks for listening.

04-13-2008, 05:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
RosieM Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Back South where I belong! Posts: 183	Susan, you are definitely not alone. Just look at all the people on this site! I thought my husband and I were so great together, and then the hiding of the bottles and binge drinking started. He drove drunk all the time, and in February ran head-on into a family of four in a mini-van, injuring everyone. He's facing multiple felony DUI charges now. We were separated at the time because of the drinking and his behavior. I had finally realized that he cared about drinking more than he cared about our life together. Thank God no one was killed in the wreck, but it could have happened so easily. Is this really the man you fell in love with, or is the man you fell in love with just a memory now? I feel like I clung to the memory for so long after the man I fell in love with was essentially gone. Would you want your daughter to be living the way you are? These are the questions I asked myself. Best of luck, please keep us posted.

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