3/14 Parents That Love Too Much

[Cynay]

You are reading from Parents Who Love Too Much by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. & Cheryl Erwin, M.A.

Loving too much is Normal.

If you are a normal parent, it is likely that you "love too much" to one degree or another. In fact, few, if any, parents (except, perhaps, pathologically ill individuals who are not capable of loving at all) have not engaged in loving their children too mcuh. Take a moment and see if you recongnize yourself in any of the following behaviors. (It's okay: we all do them.)


Unreasonable Expectations

These are the parents who sign up for the best schools before their children are born, buy a computer for their one-year-old, start a reading program at two by placing word cards on every item in the house, and sign Johnny up for golf at four because the golf course is a great place to make business deals. During the school years they try to get their children enrolled in gifted programs. They engage in endless power struggles over homework, believing their children will be failures in life if they dont excel in school, something that has been proven erroneous in many research studies. The children of these parents sometimes spend hours with therapists dealing with their hurt and depression because they believe that they were loved conditionally rather then encouraged to blossom in their own way. Some live their whole lives trying to live up to their parents' expectations, while others drop out and become couch patatoes in total rebellion.