Topic: Operation Bring Sharon Home : )

[aasharon90]

Hi Im Sharon and im an Alcohol.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR i havent found
it necessary to take a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90. For that
im truely grateful.

Ok, the story goes Ive been living
here in Houston for 10 yrs now and
that I miss my home town very much.

Baton Rouge is where i grew up most
of my life and where i got sober at 16
yrs ago.

We moved here to Houston to allow
our kids to have more rewarding
opportunities to grow and mature.
That has definitely happened as both
are in college with one to graduate
next Spring.

My spouse has a good job and has
no desire to return to Baton Rouge.
When we moved here it was with
understanding that it was for the kids
and that we may move back home
after they graduated.

Well my spouse loves it here....
Me, my family and friends are
back home in BR. I miss them
and my AA family misses me.

I will be going home in a few
weeks to visit and have taken
the opportunity to look for a
job while there.

If i can find a job first then
im on my way...getting a place
to live wont be a problem....
Moving will be the next step....

However....Is this my will or
His (HP) Will. In prayers over
the yrs. im pretty sure He(HP)
is aware of where im at.

Miserable.

I know in recovery they say
it works if u work it. And i have
been trying to work it to the
best of my ability....not perfect
tho....But..im trying...

So here it is...im doing the
footwork....i want to move back
home and so i have to be able
to support myself....so im trying
to get a job....

You ask what about the marriage
of 24 yrs...well..we tried the
divorce route and it didnt work....
i dont know what the future holds
for us in that department. However,
separation maybe the answer
right now....

Anyway....soooo..

OPERATION BRING SHARON HOME
is into action.... : )

I will go and do the footwork
and then we shall see what happens.

Oh and I have already placed
my resume and have written to
the banks to set something up
while in town. Keep fingers
crossed for something good
to come of this visit....

If nothing....then we cross
that bridge when it gets here.

No negative thoughts and no
expectations..right?

If u have any suggestions or
comments to guide me along
please dont hesitate to share
them with me.... : )

Thanks for letting me share here.

[51anna]

Sharon, I am sorry that it has come to this kind of a decision in your marriage. We moved away from Vancouver, Canada for my husband's work when we 24 yrs old and newly married. The understanding was that we'd return in 7 yrs. We've moved 10 times since then, and it's now 31 yrs later and we have only returned to Vancouver to visit. It caused deep resentment on my part. I have a strong connection with certain places and have never felt the same about anywhere else as I do about my hometown.

I don't know what advice to give you. I do think that you are brave to set out and try to make this change.

[Kellye C]

Sharon, I know how unhappy you are and I hope that your HP's will be done.

Is your husband aware of what you're planning? That you're ready to move off and leave him here? What does he have to say about that? I'm not trying to dissuade you I'm just curious. You said divorce hasn't worked for you but that separation might. What do you want to come of this? That he will miss you and move back to LA or to give you freedom or what? Once again, not judging here, just curious.

As you know I'm your opposite. I was born and raised in Houston, moved to LA for a year and then moved back to Houston when my marriage failed. I love LA but I could not make a living there and my family and friends were here so I understand how that is.

One thing that I've always done when contemplating a move or big change and not sure if it is my will or my HP's. I pray that if it is His will that he will open the doors and show me and if it is not His will that He will slam them shut. It's been pretty effective for me and others who I've shared this with so I thought I'd share it with you as well.

Best of luck to you no matter what!

Love,
Kellye

[aasharon90]

Thanks Anna and Kellye for being here for me.
I appreciate that.

My husband is not recovery and is very strong
on his own. He has the support of his family
and me of course and the kids....my kids r
22 and 19 now and doing very well for themselves.
Both r out of the house...one in the dorm and the
other in an apt. preparing to ask his girlfriend for
her hand..next week as a matter of fact. : )

My family is doing fine and will do fine without
me. I am on a different plane than them. As
most know what its like to have one in recovery
and the other not , it makes the relationship
lopesided unless u both work on things together.

Ive been doing AA for 16 yrs now and have made
changes in my life and thoughts....i could very well
be a dry drunk too.....i mean..i dont go to meetings
outside here...I mean i have been and can go...its
just my decision and i dont recommend the way i
work my own program to anyone....Anyway....I do
work my program here with u guys and it keeps me
connected and grounded....and ever so appreciative
that im in recovery.

However....

No my husband doesnt know about.........

OPERATION BRING SHARON HOME

is in action.... : ) It wouldnt do him any good
to know except to aggrivate him....He knows
im gonna do what i want to anyway.....

See for 16 yrs i stayed at home with the kids
and i know thats in the past now...today ive
been working part time at a grocery store for
the past 5 yrs....not helping finacially most all
my married life....selfish of me...and i know it....
He has always wanted me to work and pull my
weight with that part of our marriage....however
i never wanted to be a career person which could
be because of my alcoholism and issues.

I know if i move back home...he won't. He likes it
here and would rather let me be where i would be
happy and thats back home....

I did live on my own when i was 18 till i
got married and i held a full time job and
was responsible along with drinking. So
i dont fear being by myself.

Our marriage of 24 yrs has been thru its
ups and downs..i promise....with meeting
me during my drinking career and then
getting sober.....I changed when I
get sober....i still think he misses the
women he met when i was drinking...
happier, freer...more with sex...u know..
all the stuff u do when ur drunk... : )

Well im not like that anymore..... Im not
a prud but as time and age and change...
im not the same person.....he however is
the same.....

Anyway....I think or hope that if i did
return home that it will be the right move
for me....and thats why i want it to be His
Will for me to move and not mine.

Sure it would be dissappointing to move
home and its not what i expected and
then what happens....but in my gut i
dont see that happening...

I just want to be happy and content for
my rest of my life remaining sober and
helping others in recovery just as im
suppose to do.


You know, i feel like ive played this tune
for sooooo long that its just repeatitious.
I keep thinking people must be tired of me
whining about my life and problems.

Its not like im not trying to better
myself and i do pray for guidance and
help....but i dont know what else to do.

I have surrendered....and continue to
do so.

It seems when ever i try to make a move
i end up hitting a brick wall. Thats what
makes me think God has other plans for me....

But u know...i dont know how much more
i can hang on here. That's why i bring my
sad pathetic little story to u guys one more
time....

Is that what we r suppose to do? Don't try
to solve problems by urself....because our wills
don't work.......Well here i am....

Vunerable at ur mercy. : )

Thanks buddies for letting me share.

[aasharon90]

Anna.... : )

Thank you....

Im cool...i promise....

My husband and i are going together in a few
weeks back to BR. He will be staying with his folks
right around the corner from me while i stay in the
hotel.

It's ok...I promise....he knows that my visit
is AA related....my folks r there too and ill
cross that bridge when it comes as to when
to see them.....

Im not that close to my family as he is to his....

No feuding,,,just we have all gone
our seperate ways and besides im in
recovery and i think i have this AWEFUL
disease that makes me think differently
from others.

I mean..i ok with where i am being an Alcoholic....
It just makes it difficult to communicate
with normal folks....and then to keep expaining
why i do and say the things i do....


Let's just say its uncomfortable and at my
stage in recovery..i dont want to feel like
that...so we have choices to deal with it
or not...i chose not....

Anyway...my husband and i are not feuding....
we r just uneven in our marriage....and nothing
will change unless something is done about it...

I am trying to do what is right....and this is
to find what makes me happy....

Im not happy here even tho ive tried to
accept that this is where i need to be....

And i maybe very well sent back here to do
some more soul seeking if nothing works
out back home job wise.

What will i do in that case? Hmmmm

TURN MY WILL AND LIFE OVER TO THE CARE
OF MY HP AS I KNOW HIM.

What else?

[laurie6781]

Anyway....I think or hope that if i did
return home that it will be the right move
for me....and thats why i want it to be His
Will for me to move and not mine.

Sharon, one of the best tools I have found, and it has become part of my 'footwork' is this:

No matter what decision I have to make, not only do I ask for HP's guidance, but then I sit down, take an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper or 2 or 3 if needed, fold it in half the long way then open it back up. On one side, at the top of the page, I write PROS and on the other side I write CONS.

Then I do a thorough and HONEST session or two of DISCOVERY. Looking honestly at all the issues good and bad about this decision of what I WANT to do. Usually, if I have been honest, after a few days of working on my Pro/Con list I have a pretty definitive answer.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[aasharon90]

Hi you guys, Sharon and alcoholic still here....

Ok, operation to bring me back home to
Baton Rouge to stay is still on.

At this point i have no idea what will
happen down the road, but im trying
to do the footwork. Its not like Ive never
not done the footwork, its just maybe me
not doing the right footwork....well how
am i suppose to know what to do in
the first place? So i just do something...
and if the results dont pan out, then I
chalk it up to it not being the right time
or not my HP's Will for me.

Ok, so at this point, i have written to
several banks back home to see if i
can just talk to someone about returning
to being a teller. Ive already sent in
countless applications with only one
interview and my application still on
file....what i really need to do is show
up at these banks, because u can send
in applications till u r blue in the face,
like i have and they cant see me....
I need to be seen in order for them
to think about hiring me....An appli-
cation is just words...they dont know
me personally.

For all i know they may think im an old
hag looking for a job...lol Just cause
im almost fortyishhhhhhhhh plus....doesnt
make me dead....lol

Just like here...u guys have no idea
what i look like in person...right? OO
can u see me? lol

Ok so thats where im at right now...

this afternoon i came home with no
replies to my applications... : ( ok, im
trying to not be excited about anything
nor disappointed....

Then later this afternoon I got a call
from an AA friend who has many yrs
sober sharing about his mom
passing away. : (

Then as we chatted i shared with him
about operation bring me home....
I told him all that i had done and how
i didnt want to return to Houston.

He gave me the name of a person to call
and see about working as a Mental
Health Tech.

I did place my call emmediately and
left my information on her machine....

When i talked to my friend I told him
about what jobs i was looking into
mainly banking because im familiar
with that then i mention recovery..
which is something i really should be
doing....and then asked if he had
any suggestions...

Then that was his suggestion.....
calling the lady....

WOW....people.....What else should
i really be doing with my life right now
except for helping people in recovery
like im doing here with u guys....right?

Im excited right now and wanted to
share with u guys what was going on....

I kinda wanted to keep this to myself
and not get too excited about it....yet
what if this is what ive been waiting for
all my life? could this be my calling?

Anyway....if this doesnt go thru...as other
things or times..i will be devistated....thats
why i dont want to get too everwhelmed
with the possibilities of what may happen...

Ok, Sharon Calm Down...lol

Ok, give me a minute or 2....

Thanks for letting me share...
and ill be back to share more... : )





at the Rehab Center.

[aasharon90]

Hey SR...Guess what?

the lady from Human Resources called
me as soon as i wrote the last post
here to u....

She gave me her email address at work
and instructed me to go online to fill
out my application.... YEAH..!

I will probably touch base with her tomorrow
to find out more of what im applying for....

YEAH u guys....

No i havent told my spouse yet...i want
this to be done on my own....i know he
wants me to be happy and as much as ive
said and whined about wanting to be back
home....he has told me in the past to
just go then....my problem has been
what would i do after havin spent 16
yrs as an at home mom. Then relocating
just for the kids...which has been a blessing....
then 5 yrs working in a grocery store
without them ever giving me a raise.....
I have worked minimum wage since day 1.

Now its time for a change. I hope and pray
that this be God's Will for me.....

Thanks u people for being here for me.

Ill return for an update as soon as i know
more.