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|07-06-2011, 04:10 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2009
Attitude issues assistance needed...
I need help adjusting my attitude. I have both chronic and acute pain (Fibro + fractured L1, disc issues at l4/l5), and a history of abusing my pain meds. I have 120 days clean, in an IOP, getting to meetings when I can, etc. I also suffer from major depressive disorder.
My issue is when folks give me suggestions that either I've already tried, or that are totally inappropriate for my situation, I get... snarky. When the pain AND depression gang up on me, and I cant get dressed, or shower, or go anywhere, "taking a walk" is not feasible for me. I always reply, if I could TAKE a walk, I WOULD! I cannot express how many times this has been proffered to me as a legitimate central pain management technique- by medical professionals who are familiar with my situation no less.
On the one hand I KNOW they are truly trying to offer me help, and they aren't trying to **** me off, or sound dumb. But when I am unable to function in any substantial way in the world, I need better coping skills for those people in my life. I guess part of it is that I am tired of being the most informed person on my conditions, current meds available, recent research into addiction, pain management, fibro etc.
So hi. And stuff.
|The Following User Says Thank You to penthilisea For This Useful Post:|| |
|07-08-2011, 11:34 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Oh my gosh, I can relate so much to what you said. I've been sitting here today thinking how totally and utterly sick and tired I am of being in pain.
I have spinal stenosis and degenerative disc disease, and have often gotten the just take a walk thing too. I also battle major depressive disorder, and am currently adjusting to yet another medication tweak for that!
People who have never suffered from chronic pain and depression just do not understand.
Sending you lots of hugs from a fellow chronic pain person!
DeVon & the Zoo Crew
An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
--Orlando A. Battista
|07-09-2011, 03:58 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Hello penthilisea, and pleased to "meet" you
With me it's my own expectations. I don't know why, but I have this expectation that other people can understand the pain I live in every day. I have no idea where that expectation comes from, cuz I sure don't understand _them_ .... so why should they understand me?
A few things that have worked for me.
If it's a doc making a foolish suggestion I use it as an opportunity to turn it around on them : "You know, doc, I was meaning to ask your advice on exactly that idea. I am not able to take a walk because my blood pressure drops like a rock if I so much as go out to the mailbox. Do you think I should up my meds? or would you prescribe me an electric wheel chair?" Sometimes I get a smart doc and a useful conversation follows.
With non-medical peeps I also try the turn-around : "You know, I wish I were healthy enough to take a walk. What I really need is somebody who would give me a ride to the local park and go with me so that if I pass out they could call 911. Can you think of anybody who do that for me?" Most of the time that gets them out of my hair, and once in a while I get somebody who is actually willing to give me a ride. Whadya know.
Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings.
|07-10-2011, 06:27 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Hi Penth: I am not the one that suffers from chronic pain, but my husband does and has been suffering for about 10 years now (he has had 4 back operations, 2 knee replacements and numerous other orthopedic problems, DDD, arthritis, spinal stenosis, etc.) and he also suffers from PTSD from serving in Vietnam. Well I have to say that I apologize for ignorant people, as I am ignorant at times myself and do not understand what it is like to live in chronic pain everyday, I cannot imagine. I think that people who do not suffer every day just don't have the capacity to really understand and I know that with my husband, I have heard him say so many times that he is hurting, that I seem to lose my patience with him at times, because he sounds like a broken record, which is really ignorant of me to shrug him off. Maybe some of you could give us individuals who do not hurt every day some suggestions, it would be helpful. Thank you.
|07-12-2011, 10:39 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2009
If there really is nothing you can do to help the chronic pain sufferer, then you can do as my counselor does; "I'm sorry I can't do anything to make it better, but I can offer you my support, and I'm always here to listen if you need to talk."
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