surgery pain and addiction

[greysparkey]

Hi,
I had two major knee operations on the left knee in the last year and have think I have become addicted to pain meds in recovery. My last surgery was on 5-4-09 and I am off all opaites now, but i miss them. Is this normal ? I go to AA meetings regularly and my sponsor and support people know how i feel. I am angry that this happened. When will these cravings go away?
Mary Jo

[DesertEyes]

Hello there Mary Jo, and welcome to our corner of recovery.

Yes, it's very common to miss the opiates once you get off them. Opiates are a chemical that affects our brains, just the same as alcohol. You can work the 12 steps exactly the same way for opiates as you do for alcohol.

In some of the larger cities they even have 12 step programs for people who need recovery from pain medications. In Los Angeles they called themselves "Pill Addicts Anonymous".

I have a terminal disease that damages my nervous system. The pain varies in strength, but never goes away. Some days are easy. Some are not. I will never be able to live without various meds, including pain meds. The days I don't need any pain meds I think about them. The disease that causes me to become addicted to alcohol works the same for pain meds, and I treat it the same.

You mention that your sponsor and support people know how you feel, but you didn't mention what specific actions you are taking to overcome the cravings. I participate in various commitments at my meetings. I sponsor a couple of guys who are themselves dealing with chronic pain. Perhaps if you share some of the things you are doing we can all contribute some suggestions.

Welcome again, I'm glad you decided to join us.

Mike

[Latte]

I belong to a yahoo group of people with chronic pain. The support I get there is wonderful. The Moderator posts non medical pain management advice all the time (articles, and proven advice).

Thank you for posting.

[greysparkey]

Thanks Mike and Idgie.

I guess my question is that since I had to take the pain meds for the total knee repelacements, I feel guilty for now craving the medication as if I did something wrong. Mike, if you still have to take the meds, doesn't that cloud your sense of sobriety? You said on the days you don't need pain meds you think about them. How can you keep your sanity? It seems like a constant compulsion and craving going on in my head. I can use all the tips I can get right now. I tend to battle with Catholic guilt on top of everything else, so ....


Mary Jo

[DesertEyes]

Heya Mary Jo

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... I tend to battle with Catholic guilt on top of everything else, so .......

Oh I totally understand. I'm a recovering Catholic. Carmelites, Jesuits, Irish family, the whole 9 yards and _all_ the stations of the cross before breakfast

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... I feel guilty for now craving the medication as if I did something wrong....

_cravings_ are not wrong. They are a chemical reaction to a medication. That's no different that cravings for sugar, which is also a chemical, or ice cream.

What _is_ wrong is the _actions_ we take in order to satisfy those cravings. If I go and _lie_ to my doctor in order to get more pills then the _lying_ is wrong.

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... Mike, if you still have to take the meds, doesn't that cloud your sense of sobriety? ...

nope. The official position from AA is found here

http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/p-11_aamembers.pdf

The short version is that as long as I take meds as prescribed, under a doctors supervision, and for a valid medical reason, then I am not giving in to my disease of addiction. The burden of honesty is on _me_. It's not on the chemical I take.

My _behavior_ is the issue. I could be a liar, a cheat, a thief without ever taking a drink. Drinking just dulls my conscience and would make it easier to become that kind of person. The same goes for any other chemical.

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... You said on the days you don't need pain meds you think about them. How can you keep your sanity? ...

My alcoholic brain can only obsess on _one_ thing at a time. So when my head is thinking of meds, I start saying prayers. I pray for everybody I know who is having challenges in their lives, and I know plenty such people from my meets and here on SR. I have printed out several prayers in Latin ( being Catholic... you know how that goes ) and I'm working on memorizing them in Latin. That _really_ focuses my mind away from pills.

I get on the phone and call people and ask them how _they_ are doing. That can keep me busy for _hours_, and focused on _their_ needs instead of my obsessions. I have a close friend who's in the last stages of cancer, so I call her up and see if I can take her some dinner or give her a ride to a meet. I come here on SR and see if there's anybody who needs a little listening.

Same stuff I used to do when I was brand new in recovery.

Whadya think?

Mike

[greysparkey]

Mike

What do I think?

I think you are fantastic and exactly who I needed to connect with. Even when I was taking the pain meds for pain i felt guilty because it seemed like a double edged sword. I absolutely could not function without them, however i still noted and appreciated the way they relaxed me mentally.
I am doing the things you suggested... praying,, getting out of myself and focusing on another person. I have not lied to the doctor about needed pain meds. i just had a severe bout with TMJ and needed them, but would only take in the evening towards bedtime. ( I have PT and splint therapy. Can't tolerate muslce relaxers). The problem is, i have a very low pain tolerance. Always have even before ever took a drink or drug.
Thanks for being here!

Mary Jo

[acoogle]

hey greysparkey i am an opiate addict and have been for six years. i am day 10 of cold turkey and i am starting to get the cravings for them and whats worse than that is my husband got his rx to for 180 30mg oxycodone and that was my pill of choice.the only way i get through it is to think positive thoughts and know what kind of junkie i was while on them and i have a 9 year old daughter she is my inspiration. but no dont feel guilty for craving them just stay strong and stay away from them.

[ItsMe1965]

Originally Posted by greysparkey

Hi,
I had two major knee operations on the left knee in the last year and have think I have become addicted to pain meds in recovery. My last surgery was on 5-4-09 and I am off all opaites now, but i miss them. Is this normal ? I go to AA meetings regularly and my sponsor and support people know how i feel. I am angry that this happened. When will these cravings go away?
Mary Jo

If you told me that you didn't crave opiates after taking them, I would think you aren't an addict. Your cravings are very normal. Please don't feel guilty about missing them. They were a part of you and it is a normal grieving process. Now if after a few months you get really depressed, have no energy feel impending doom, then you need to see your doctor because that can possibly be PAWS Post acute withdrawls. For most addicts the PAWS goes away after a few months, but for a tiny percentage of us it never goes away. I tried to commit suicide because of PAWS, but that is very rare.. I medicated myself because of many reasons and one of those reasons was clinical depression. When I was shooting dope I didn't feel, but when the dope was taken away from me, my mental and pysical illnesses came back with a vengence. I can't give you any medical advice except that if you feel horrible. see your doctor ASAP....Good luck friend and Happy New Year

ItsMe1965

[Weeza]

I wouldn't feel guilty about craving opiates if you may be feeling pain or discomfort, because craving then would be for relief from pain and not so much a cheap thrill. If there's pain, the body uses the medication for that purpose. But if no physical pain and you take a pain medication recreationally, then there's some kind of emotional pain going on and you'd need to get honest with your recovery, maybe write about this feeling in an inventory. Discuss with sponsor what reflections have been made. Maybe it's time for a change.

There's also an experience called post-operation blues... When you're sick or recovering from surgery, you get down time, and then as you heal, you're able to relax. But after healing and relaxing, you go back into the stress and grind of the world only to realize there's been work piling on your desk while you were down in bed. At that point a shock wave can hit and then you crave escape, might reflect back on how nice it was to lay up and just rest. At least this is something new mothers experience, and I'd imagine this pattern of reactions to stages of healing could apply. Maybe it's not so much you physically crave the opiate but perhaps the relaxed feeling? But you'd know one way or another if you write it out.

Catholic or not, conscience is conscience, and you'd figure out what the deal was for you through journaling. I went through something similar, had a discussion with sponsor that didn't go too well, but my conscience has told me I've not abused my pain medication but should check in with Narcotics Anonymous meetings just to play it safe, and being around the NA crowd is helping me keep honest with myself (taking medication as prescribed, only when needed). I love AA but there's no talking about pain management or medication in the rooms so that's why I've moved over to Narcotics Anonymous-- at least this way I can talk about everything, get feedback.

Good luck.