surgery pain and addiction

[greysparkey]

Hi,
I had two major knee operations on the left knee in the last year and have think I have become addicted to pain meds in recovery. My last surgery was on 5-4-09 and I am off all opaites now, but i miss them. Is this normal ? I go to AA meetings regularly and my sponsor and support people know how i feel. I am angry that this happened. When will these cravings go away?
Mary Jo

[DesertEyes]

Hello there Mary Jo, and welcome to our corner of recovery.

Yes, it's very common to miss the opiates once you get off them. Opiates are a chemical that affects our brains, just the same as alcohol. You can work the 12 steps exactly the same way for opiates as you do for alcohol.

In some of the larger cities they even have 12 step programs for people who need recovery from pain medications. In Los Angeles they called themselves "Pill Addicts Anonymous".

I have a terminal disease that damages my nervous system. The pain varies in strength, but never goes away. Some days are easy. Some are not. I will never be able to live without various meds, including pain meds. The days I don't need any pain meds I think about them. The disease that causes me to become addicted to alcohol works the same for pain meds, and I treat it the same.

You mention that your sponsor and support people know how you feel, but you didn't mention what specific actions you are taking to overcome the cravings. I participate in various commitments at my meetings. I sponsor a couple of guys who are themselves dealing with chronic pain. Perhaps if you share some of the things you are doing we can all contribute some suggestions.

Welcome again, I'm glad you decided to join us.

Mike

[Latte]

I belong to a yahoo group of people with chronic pain. The support I get there is wonderful. The Moderator posts non medical pain management advice all the time (articles, and proven advice).

Thank you for posting.

[greysparkey]

Thanks Mike and Idgie.

I guess my question is that since I had to take the pain meds for the total knee repelacements, I feel guilty for now craving the medication as if I did something wrong. Mike, if you still have to take the meds, doesn't that cloud your sense of sobriety? You said on the days you don't need pain meds you think about them. How can you keep your sanity? It seems like a constant compulsion and craving going on in my head. I can use all the tips I can get right now. I tend to battle with Catholic guilt on top of everything else, so ....


Mary Jo

[DesertEyes]

Heya Mary Jo

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... I tend to battle with Catholic guilt on top of everything else, so .......

Oh I totally understand. I'm a recovering Catholic. Carmelites, Jesuits, Irish family, the whole 9 yards and _all_ the stations of the cross before breakfast

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... I feel guilty for now craving the medication as if I did something wrong....

_cravings_ are not wrong. They are a chemical reaction to a medication. That's no different that cravings for sugar, which is also a chemical, or ice cream.

What _is_ wrong is the _actions_ we take in order to satisfy those cravings. If I go and _lie_ to my doctor in order to get more pills then the _lying_ is wrong.

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... Mike, if you still have to take the meds, doesn't that cloud your sense of sobriety? ...

nope. The official position from AA is found here

http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/p-11_aamembers.pdf

The short version is that as long as I take meds as prescribed, under a doctors supervision, and for a valid medical reason, then I am not giving in to my disease of addiction. The burden of honesty is on _me_. It's not on the chemical I take.

My _behavior_ is the issue. I could be a liar, a cheat, a thief without ever taking a drink. Drinking just dulls my conscience and would make it easier to become that kind of person. The same goes for any other chemical.

Originally Posted by greysparkey

... You said on the days you don't need pain meds you think about them. How can you keep your sanity? ...

My alcoholic brain can only obsess on _one_ thing at a time. So when my head is thinking of meds, I start saying prayers. I pray for everybody I know who is having challenges in their lives, and I know plenty such people from my meets and here on SR. I have printed out several prayers in Latin ( being Catholic... you know how that goes ) and I'm working on memorizing them in Latin. That _really_ focuses my mind away from pills.

I get on the phone and call people and ask them how _they_ are doing. That can keep me busy for _hours_, and focused on _their_ needs instead of my obsessions. I have a close friend who's in the last stages of cancer, so I call her up and see if I can take her some dinner or give her a ride to a meet. I come here on SR and see if there's anybody who needs a little listening.

Same stuff I used to do when I was brand new in recovery.

Whadya think?

Mike

[greysparkey]

Mike

What do I think?

I think you are fantastic and exactly who I needed to connect with. Even when I was taking the pain meds for pain i felt guilty because it seemed like a double edged sword. I absolutely could not function without them, however i still noted and appreciated the way they relaxed me mentally.
I am doing the things you suggested... praying,, getting out of myself and focusing on another person. I have not lied to the doctor about needed pain meds. i just had a severe bout with TMJ and needed them, but would only take in the evening towards bedtime. ( I have PT and splint therapy. Can't tolerate muslce relaxers). The problem is, i have a very low pain tolerance. Always have even before ever took a drink or drug.
Thanks for being here!

Mary Jo

[acoogle]

hey greysparkey i am an opiate addict and have been for six years. i am day 10 of cold turkey and i am starting to get the cravings for them and whats worse than that is my husband got his rx to for 180 30mg oxycodone and that was my pill of choice.the only way i get through it is to think positive thoughts and know what kind of junkie i was while on them and i have a 9 year old daughter she is my inspiration. but no dont feel guilty for craving them just stay strong and stay away from them.