Chronic Pain Management

[billythekid]

I posted yesterday, it was my first on this forum, and someone recommended that I check out this area which deals with pain management. As I wrote yesterday I have been extremely sick over the past three years, I underwent major life saving surgery at The Mayo Clinic in Rochester MO back in February. The surgeons told me that even after the operation that I would continue to have multiple complications, not exactly good news but at least they were honest with me. I started some notes today and wanted to share some of them here because I have horrible problems with isolation, many of my “friends” did not respond to my request to call me more and check up on me after my surgery and that has left me feeling even more isolated.

I had 5 major lengthy hospitalizations (60 days total) at 3 different medical centers; all of them are very well known and have very good reputations. Anyway I have been trying to get off some of my medications and I just wanted to post about it and perhaps someone can relate to what I am saying I am sure. I have repeatedly attempted to reduce my levels of medication, with only moderate success. My doctors are aware of this and they have really gone the extra mile to help me by trying to keep me out of the emergency room and or hospital with pain medications. I still feel very sick every day and I can not function even remotely near the same level I was at three years ago, it can be extremely overwhelming for me, I don’t want to live if I am going to trapped inside a medical center, I am not strong enough to survive it.

To put some of this into perspective I sat down today with my medical records and counted the number of Morphine and Dilaudid injections which were administered to me during my inpatient stays. During the course of 60 days I was administered approximately 432 intravenous injections in my arms, and that number does NOT include 70 emergency room visits or thousands of pain pills I have had to ingest. They were using both of my arms to keep me medicated and I went for many days and weeks without water or food, everything had to go into my arms. When I woke up after surgery I had a big plastic tube going up into my nose down my throat into my lungs to keep me from drowning on my own fluid and I was hooked up to a bunch of other equipment. I am currently taking about 750 pills every 30 days with a total cost of about $5,000.00 per month just for the meds. I have very good health insurance and I believe that without it I would surly be deceased already. I recently tried AGAIN to reduce my pain meds but I can only hang on for about 4 weeks then my quality of life tanks and I have to go back and let them start the meds back up.

So my point in all of this is that I feel that there are times when a person can not function without certain medications regardless of what they are. My experience has really made me look at medications, narcotics, and “drugs” in a way I never had before I got so sick. Some of the posts I have read here in regards to pain management talk about that if a licensed medical doctor is dispensing them and you can’t stay out of the hospital without them then there is most likely a justifiable use for them. I don’t know how long I will have to take the narcotics, I won’t be able to stop anytime soon and it has been 3 years. I have hope that I will eventually be able to function without them but I am trying to just take it a day at a time and not to demand so much from myself. I don’t want to die yet, as I explained in my other post I am ready when God takes me but I am only 44 years old and I have a child who needs his father and I feel a very large responsibility to him and other members of my family.

I don’t believe I can spend much more time in a hospital, it is just more than I can handle so I am trying to stay out and at my home and my mother helps take care of me. If you have anything encouraging feel free to let me know. Thank you for reading and or responding to this post, have a very good evening.

[namommy]

Billy,
Welcome to SR. I can certainly relate to some of your story. Although my issue is not life threatening, the pain I am in can be unbearable some days.

When I first got clean, I had a sponsor who, God Bless her soul, also had issues with mental and physical health and had to take medication. Some of her medications were narcotics. She was a very well respected person in NA. When she passed away, she had 17 years clean. She died of lung cancer.

Anyway, when I started having problems, I was very confused about what I should do. The first thing she suggested was to get the booklet "Illness in Recovery" which you can ask for at just about any NA meeting, or go on the NA web-site and purchase it from there. It is great for information on how to deal with medical problems and medications in recovery.

Next, she told me "We came into recovery to STOP suffering." There is no need for any of us to play the martyr.

She told me to be absolutely honest with ALL of my doctors. Make sure that they are aware of the fact that I am a recovering addict and demand to try non-narcotic options. If, for whatever reason, non-narcotic options don't work for you (make sure you exhaust ALL non-narcotic options first), then you have no other choice but to try a narcotic. If this is the case, there are a few things you need to do to avoid relapse. Make sure to do some soul searching, and be absolutely honest with yourself and your doctors about your pain level. Sometimes our disease can convince us that we are in more pain than we actually are. Next, make sure you take your medications EXACTLY as prescribed. Set a schedule for yourself for daily medications. I find using a medicine case that not only has the days of the week, but it also has 4 block for each day. This way I can seperate my medications for the day. This helps me to avoid the temptation of taking any extra meds. If I don't see all the pills in the bottle, and I only take what is in my case, I am fine. Make sure you have a support network who is aware of what you are taking, and how often you take it, so they can help you stay on track. If you need to, give your narcotics to someone else to distribute to you. Be sure to find someone you can trust who will not be tempted to take the medications themself.

In the Basic Text of NA, it states that we leave certain problems in the hands of professionals. We leave legal problems in the hands of lawyers, and medical problems in the hands of our doctors. This is important to remember, because you may come across people in recovery who will try to tell you what you can and cannot take while in recovery. Keep in mind, that these people are not doctors, if they happen to be a doctor who is in recovery, they are not YOUR doctor. I have seen too many times, someone tell another addict that they should stop taking certain medications only for that person to end up seriously ill, and in some cases, dead. I have been to funerals of addicts who stopped taking their meds at the advice of another addict, only to end up committing suicide.

You, and only you, know the level of pain you are in. Your doctors know what problems you have and the pain that comes from them. Be honest with your physicians, be honest with yourself, and do whatever works for you.

I will keep you in my prayers.
Soft Hugs.
Laurie

[baldjim]

welcome to sr

i have fibromyralgia

although not life threatening i am in constant pain so i do i have a tiny bit in common with you

[DesertEyes]

Hello there Billy, and welcome to SoberRecovery

I have a disease called "Autonomic Neuropathy". It affects mostly my heart, lungs, stomach, and throat. It will spread to the rest of my body as it progresses. The bad news is that it slowly kills off those organs, causing all kinds of problems and lots of pain. The good news is that my heart will give out long before the rest of me.

You have not mentioned what disease you have, or the specific cocktail of meds you are on. My docs and I spend a great deal of time trying different "recipes" to find one where I can have a decent quality of life without being totally zoned out. What's working for me really well right now is a class of medication called "neural stabilizers". Specifically Depakote, but there's also Neurontin and Lyrica in that class.

Have you been seen by a pain clinic? They are the experts at figuring out those cocktails. There's also a medical specilty called "Palliative Care" that I have found very helpful.

I totally understand about being ready to bail out on this world. I am there too. I have all my paperwork done; will, living trust, transfer on death, etc. etc. I hang out at other forums that are specific to my disease as that helps me get perspective on the life I have left.

Like you mentioned, I am unable to live without all these meds. My heart would literally stop without them. In fact, it has on three separate ocassions and I was lucky the docs were able to kick start it again. I don't even try to stop the meds. What I do instead is very slowly lower _one_ med, or maybe two, while bringing up the levels of a new med. It's a tricky balancing act, but it has been worth it as I am still able to function at moderate levels.

Dunno if any of the above will be useful to you, feel free to take what works and leave the rest.

Mike