Really is this what it comes down to?

[bones197828]

Hi all I am new here and I have a slew of medical issues and so i am in constant pain. I have been on so many treatments it makes me sick to even think about. I am also a recovering alcoholic. My issue is this....I feel so uncomfortable taking my pain meds cause i feel like an addict. And then I wonder if I really am cause sometimes I do take more but I mark that up to the meds not really working for me and still feeling a lot of pain or is it that my mind is just messing with me and I am falling more and more into the hole of addiction. I know how bad addiction feels and can get and I really stuggle with this. My docs work against me (so it feels, but perhaps its best that they do) when it comes to me saying that these meds are not working. I end up having to take more and then running out early. Is this just me being an addict or is this me not being treated properly? I know that none of you can give me medical advice but this is what I struggle with on a daily basis. I freaking hate it.
Well thanks for reading to any and all who do.
God Bless.

[Freedom1990]

First of all, welcome to SR!

I too deal with chronic pain. I have degenerative disc disease.

There are a few things that come to mind after reading your post. First and foremost, I am honest with any of my medical providers on being a recovering alcoholic/addict, and always voice my concerns with any medications.

Secondly, I see a pain management specialist. There are options out there for me to control my pain other than pain pills. Not knowing what your pain is and from what health issues, I don't know what suggestions might help.

I hope you continue to post, and know that we care!

[bones197828]

Thanks for the reply.

I too have DDD and DJD and SArcoidosis and FM and Bones deteriation and .........the list goes on and on it makes me sick.

I try to be honest with my doc well one of them I was and basiclly i then was told that I was an addict and that i needed to get off all the meds...LOL

I mean really? There is all the documentation floating around the office (the medical office that is) that states all that I have and they all know that what I have is freaking painful yet I am told and looked at like and addict.

Go figure.

I have been doing this medical crap for years imaigery (sp) hypnosis accupucture massage chiropractor excerise vitamins medications.....

I know I am not really doing anything other than rambling my boo hoo poor me story and I am sorry for that. I really am.

Any how thanks again for the response. I really appreciate it.

God Bless

[Sugah]

Most doctors have stopped prescribing opiates for chronic pain because they just don't work -- for long, anyway. It's way too easy to build tolerance, requiring more and more for the same effect. They also destroy pain tolerance, so less pain requires medication, or more medication.

I have a whole list, too, bones. A doc once called me a "muscular/skeletal disaster." After years of addiction (yes, alcoholism, too), I had had enough, and I vowed to do my best to live without the crap in my system. A 12 step program, a good doc who honored my request to put her prescription pad away, a therapist who specializes in meditation and chemical-free pain relief, and a whole lot of prayer has helped me to live more than half a dozen years so far without reaching for a pill (or a line, or a bottle, etc...).

The difficult truth for people like us is that in order to have a good life, we have to accept some pain. My pain is part of me -- not all of me. Tonight, I missed my meeting and a pizza date in favor of my bed and my computer. There was a time this would have had me in tears feeling sorry for myself. Not anymore. I'm busy kicking ass in the arcade and spending some time with my kids. They know better to feel sorry for me, too. We all have our challenges, and pain happens to be mine.

I do hope you find a way out of this, bones. There is life after opiates, even with pain.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Stagebear]

Your story could easily be mine.
I am an alcoholic and, while I have not had a drink in 5.5 years or so, relapsed on pain meds...so much so that it cost me my job, my car and almost my life.
Only you can honestly assess whether you have become addicted to meds. I know that I do not recall a specific moment when I crossed that line but I do recall one day saying to myself "I'm no longer sober". I stopped being honest about my need for meds, about my dosages, my pain level, etc. Ended up doctor and pharmacy shopping, street buying etc. (That last one was a BIG "never" for me...)
I never question anyone's pain or their motives for taking meds. But I know, from experience, that even the purest of motives can result in disaster.
My primary knows I am an addict as do all doctors I come in contact with. It doesn't mean I will never be allowed pain meds again (and I stress, that is just for me, not a recommendation) but everyone in my life knows how they can support me as far as holding meds, not prescribing routinely, etc.
Honestly, it was a relief not to have to chase the pills anymore. It can be for you, too.

[Piglet123]

My husband wound up with a serious prescription drug addiction, which began innocently enough through treatment of his painful bone disease.

At his worst (before he realised he was an addict), he justified much of his drug-taking as pain relief.

Since limiting himself to acetaminophen and ibuprofen, he has been amazed to find his pain levels have been bearable. He had no way of knowing how much physical pain he REALLY had until he quit taking opiates etc. He acknowledges that SOME degree of pain is the price he has to pay for his addiction. But it is much less than he had convinced himself he was suffering.

I don't know about your situation. I think seeing a pain specialist with experience treating people with substance abuse disorders is an excellent idea.