dealing with several chronic pain conditions.

[namommy]

This is a new forum since I was last on SR. I like it.

I have several chronic pain conditions, which lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. due to the fact that I have to take narcotics to be treated, I was basically turned away from NA after being an active member for almost 13 years. People suck. pardon my language, but the do sometimes.

I ended up relapsing on my psych meds, and now I have 6 weeks. I got so depressed over losing my clean time that I had a breakdown and ended up in the psych ward.

Some days are better than others, but most days are really bad. I will certainly be checking in on this forum when I have the chance and ability to climb the steps to get to the computer room.

[Live]

((((((((((((Laurie))))))))))))

[serenityqueen]

I can relate to the anxiety and depression due to chronic, painful medical conditions. I have several and recently I was diagnosed with a fractured pelvis, two ruptured discs in my lower back as well as some weird Bursitis in my hip. . . on top of what I deal with on a daily basis. I felt so overwhelmed, not to mention the horrific pain that I was experiencing. I toughed it out for about a week or so with my pelvis, but the pain got to be so bad that I couldn't take anymore. I finally gave in and called my doctor who I work closely with and she knows everything about me being in Recovery and that my DOC was opiates. That was so scarry. Many people had a hard time understand why I was so hesitant to put one pain pill in my body. I was terrified of awakening up that demon that I had fought so hard over the past 3 years and 9 months.

I do my best to find a positive in every situation, no matter what it is. For me, the positive in this is that I got past that terror of having to take something when the pain got to be too bad. I had let that occupy so many of my thoughts since my medical conditions have worsened. I am going to have to have back surgery once my pelvis heals. I was so overly fearful of it due to the thought of if I need something for pain. Now, that fear is not occupying my mind 24/7 like it was. Oh, I am still very, very cautious. I know that that one pill I take could very well be the one that sets me up and has me off to the races so I only take one if absolutely, positively necessary.

It's a shame that your NA Meetings have turned out like this. I learned the "hard way" that there are some things that I just don't share openly at a Meeting. I talk to my Sponsor or close friends about it, but I don't throw it out on the floor at a Meeting.

I know I didn't have any words of wisdom to share with you. For me though, it does help when I know that others can relate to how I'm feeling. Just knowing that I am far from being alone has been a huge comfort to me throughout my Recovery.

God Bless,
Judy

[DesertEyes]

Hello there namommy, and welcome to our corner of recovery. At the meetings I go to we only loose our clean time if we _abuse_ chemicals outside of a doctors instructions. I take about a dozen meds a day, including narcotics. My sponsor is well aware of that, I've shared it from the podium many times, and I get a lot of support.

In this forum, we will give you the same support.

Welcome again

Mike

[serenityqueen]

I agree with Deserteyes as far as not considering it a relapse if we take a med as directed under the close supervision of our Dr. I finally got to the point with this pain from my fractured pelvis that I could no longer stand the pain. When I couldn't eat, sleep, and would actually vomit because the pain was so bad, I had to do something. There's no sense in torturing ourselves when we have legitimate pain and besides, if I would have let this go too long, I very well could have relapsed by taking several pills and not as directed. Getting some pain meds was an extremely difficult decision to make but one I could not put off any longer.

Judy

[Latte]

My chronic pain doesn't require narcotics at this point. It has in the past and it may in the future. I'll deal with it as it comes.

As long as I take any and all medications as directed and am honest with my physicians than I have done my part. I don't talk about medication in AA/NA. I don't abuse any medication today so I don't feel that it has any importance in those meetings.

[namommy]

Thank you all for the support. I talked to some people about my relapse and what happened and they all think I didn't really relapse. my husband has been saying this all along.

I posted a poll in Women in Recovery and so far no one there sees it as a relapse either. I've been so brainwashed by the NAzi attitude in this area that I saw what happened as a relapse. You can read the situation in Women in Recovery.

I've been looking for a support group in my area for chronic pain and/or Fibroyalgia and I finally found one that meets Monday night. I'm going to check it out. I need all the help I can get. I find myself up late at night crying from the pain and from feeling sick from other health issues, it gets me so depressed. Some days it's just too much to bear. Actually it's beginning to reach that point now so I think I am going to lay down for a while, then when I feel up to it, get in a hot shower for my back. I also just got a shower seat that has been a God send. I can sit and just let the hot water, set on massage, run on my back.

Again, thank you all for the support.

Laurie

[NoelleR]

"...I've been so brainwashed by the NAzi attitude in this area..."

Boy howdy, am I familiar with those folks and their 'tudes. Some folks seem to forget that just because we 'ab'used these drugs, they do have valid 'uses' and just because we're addicts doesn't mean we may not have a valid need for something.....we're definitely NOT immune to pain (the older I get, the more li'll aches 'n pains I seem to notice......and some pretty big 'uns too.


NoelleR