IS the behavior pain driven or is he abusing drugs. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

anewLife4me · 11-05-2008, 10:04 PM

What do you do when you have some one who says there in severe pain, but act like their using speed? He had relapsed last year, but now claims he's sober. But his behavior is very much like a speed user. Not sleeping, I mean going days with no sleep. Going out late at night, staying out all night, has weird stories to account for his time. Is under extreme amount of stress, due to money problems, legal issues and divorce. Has been staying with me the ex but I don't want to work things out, and after 20 yrs of marriage its difficult, he can't seem to move on, such as in rebuilding his life. He says he's going to meetings... He's been at my house for the past few months....We have money issues of course..who doesn't right now.
Anyway, this morning I found him at a known drug hangout. I told him he wasn't welcome back in my home. I was real mean, called him a drug addict, and told him he can live on the streets. He swears he's not using, that the pain causes him to not sleep, to act weird.. tweaking on things is what I call it, but not really getting anything done. ... he says he does better up moving around when his back is bothering him. Yet he spends hours I mean HOURS on his lap top, or at the computer. He tells me he leaves for long hours because he's uncomfortable being at home around me, and so he leaves to give me my space. But I'm a sleep at night, he's here during the day! Yet when he's here if he's not cleaning something, he's hiding in the bedroom on the laptop for HOURS. He's not sleeping. I check the history on the computer and see the time hes on it. Computer porn another addiction of his. Also he tells me he had treatment...radiation for Luekemia CCL type in 2005, he was in some trail study. So he says. He says his weird behavior is due to the radiation treatments, he can't think straight, can't seem to think of the right word sometimes, so he is using that as an reason for his strange behavior. I don't know, except my gut is telling me he's using illegal drugs.

Latte · 11-05-2008, 11:50 PM

Listen to your gut.

I stopped listening to peoples words but watching them. He sounds like he is quacking and you made the right decision for you. Are there shelters in your area? That might be a good place for him.

MROBI · 11-06-2008, 07:44 AM

thats right actions are stronger than words, and addicts lie to protect their disease. you might want to question if he is using crystal meth. some of that behavoir like staying up for days and acting like a speed freek, sounds like crystal meth.

shugabooga · 11-30-2008, 01:09 AM

i'm sorry for your pain. don't feel bad about being angry or mean with him. he is making you worry constantly. i am in a similar situation with my boyfriend and he drinks, takes vicodin and valium for pain from severe scoliosis. that is why i've come to this forum.

i also belong in the alcoholism forum, because i am an alcoholic, and in the women in recovery program because my boyfriend has abused me physically.

oh, about the computer, yes, my BF has used MY computer to look up porn AND an old girlfriend....really hurtful. he uses MY STUFF to bring porn into the house while i'm at work. very uncool. men get addicted to porn very easily, i think.

but back to your problem. i wish you the very best. i think the other two people who replied above understand his symptoms better than i do.

you guys aren't married, right? are you in love with him or just embroiled in an emotional situation that you're having trouble extracting yourself from? are you in danger?

barb dwyer · 12-03-2008, 02:27 PM

what latte said.

we're sneaky conniving liars, us alcoholic addict types.

have you posted on 'friends and family' forum about this as well?
I think there's a ton of support over there as well.

Never ever feel bad about protecting your own sanity and space.

Sorry to be so harsh, but I think you did exactly the right thing.

tbeit · 02-15-2009, 06:51 PM

If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck its probably a duck

Jrock75 · 02-19-2009, 08:50 PM

Been there done that... personally I would said he's definatly tweeking. But then again I'm a total outsider. Like previous posters have said follow your gut. Do you have to worry about violence?? Be safe before anything.

11-05-2008, 10:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
anewLife4me Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: ca Posts: 2	IS the behavior pain driven or is he abusing drugs. What do you do when you have some one who says there in severe pain, but act like their using speed? He had relapsed last year, but now claims he's sober. But his behavior is very much like a speed user. Not sleeping, I mean going days with no sleep. Going out late at night, staying out all night, has weird stories to account for his time. Is under extreme amount of stress, due to money problems, legal issues and divorce. Has been staying with me the ex but I don't want to work things out, and after 20 yrs of marriage its difficult, he can't seem to move on, such as in rebuilding his life. He says he's going to meetings... He's been at my house for the past few months....We have money issues of course..who doesn't right now. Anyway, this morning I found him at a known drug hangout. I told him he wasn't welcome back in my home. I was real mean, called him a drug addict, and told him he can live on the streets. He swears he's not using, that the pain causes him to not sleep, to act weird.. tweaking on things is what I call it, but not really getting anything done. ... he says he does better up moving around when his back is bothering him. Yet he spends hours I mean HOURS on his lap top, or at the computer. He tells me he leaves for long hours because he's uncomfortable being at home around me, and so he leaves to give me my space. But I'm a sleep at night, he's here during the day! Yet when he's here if he's not cleaning something, he's hiding in the bedroom on the laptop for HOURS. He's not sleeping. I check the history on the computer and see the time hes on it. Computer porn another addiction of his. Also he tells me he had treatment...radiation for Luekemia CCL type in 2005, he was in some trail study. So he says. He says his weird behavior is due to the radiation treatments, he can't think straight, can't seem to think of the right word sometimes, so he is using that as an reason for his strange behavior. I don't know, except my gut is telling me he's using illegal drugs. Last edited by DesertEyes; 11-05-2008 at 11:01 PM. Reason: fixed broken tags

11-05-2008, 11:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Latte I love my Coastie and 44 MLB's Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Coos Bay, OR Posts: 2,095	Listen to your gut. I stopped listening to peoples words but watching them. He sounds like he is quacking and you made the right decision for you. Are there shelters in your area? That might be a good place for him. __________________ I am so thankful for my sobriety Dios me da la Sernidad Para acceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar La fuerza para cambiar las que si puedo y la Sabidura para reconocer la diferencia

12-03-2008, 02:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	what latte said. we're sneaky conniving liars, us alcoholic addict types. have you posted on 'friends and family' forum about this as well? I think there's a ton of support over there as well. Never ever feel bad about protecting your own sanity and space. Sorry to be so harsh, but I think you did exactly the right thing. __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

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11-06-2008, 07:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
MROBI Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: HIGHLANDS Posts: 121	thats right actions are stronger than words, and addicts lie to protect their disease. you might want to question if he is using crystal meth. some of that behavoir like staying up for days and acting like a speed freek, sounds like crystal meth.

11-30-2008, 01:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
shugabooga Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 221	i'm sorry for your pain. don't feel bad about being angry or mean with him. he is making you worry constantly. i am in a similar situation with my boyfriend and he drinks, takes vicodin and valium for pain from severe scoliosis. that is why i've come to this forum. i also belong in the alcoholism forum, because i am an alcoholic, and in the women in recovery program because my boyfriend has abused me physically. oh, about the computer, yes, my BF has used MY computer to look up porn AND an old girlfriend....really hurtful. he uses MY STUFF to bring porn into the house while i'm at work. very uncool. men get addicted to porn very easily, i think. but back to your problem. i wish you the very best. i think the other two people who replied above understand his symptoms better than i do. you guys aren't married, right? are you in love with him or just embroiled in an emotional situation that you're having trouble extracting yourself from? are you in danger?

02-15-2009, 06:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
tbeit Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: New York Posts: 370	If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck its probably a duck

02-19-2009, 08:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jrock75 Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: I'll let you know when I figure it out Posts: 92	Been there done that... personally I would said he's definatly tweeking. But then again I'm a total outsider. Like previous posters have said follow your gut. Do you have to worry about violence?? Be safe before anything.

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