Chronic pain

[Stubborn1]

I suffer with this and I saw this forum and thought I'd ask a few questions from fellow sufferers.
I have back issues going on. At one point I did take my pain relievers more then I should but quickly got back on schedule when I saw how fast it could become a problem. It's still very hard not to take an extra here and there because they have not controlled the pain.
Here's what's going on. I had a four month old child and got pg with twins. They are thinking after the twins my pelvic bones brokes. I was just recently told that. It makes since because I could not sleep on my sides for a few years after their birth. I thought that was normal so I didn't question it.
Over the last several years my back has gotten way worse. I'm mid thirties and feel mid eighties.
I have osteo arthritis in my back, bulding discs, spurs and an issue with the sacrum joint.
Dr's always just wanted to feed me pills and that was ok but now the pills are no longer working. They have me on Vic 10s every three hours.
I just switched dr's offices and finally this dr is getting scans. I told her I've had enough. I told her the pills were no longer working, anti inflammatories are not working, muscle relaxers are not working. I hate to sit or stand longer then ten minutes.
Raising my three kids is a challenge but I suffer through it because I have to. I more or less put a band aid on me for these years.
In a few weeks I am having a brain scan and also put on a machine that will test my nerves.
I explained that in the morning I get up and I feel like a puppet with strings. I can't sleep because I roll on my side and wake up because I hurt so bad, even on my pain killers. It's a chore to get out of bed and walk. I find I stumble alot.
I have a tens unit which is a god send to me but I can not have it on 24/7.
I can't be spaced out on pain meds because of my children or I probably would be.
I also don't take my muscle relaxers during the day because they make me so tired. Tired = cranky.......pain = cranky. No win situation.
I saw on here that someone had a pump. How is that working?
I jokingly said I would like to have an extended metal rod in my back to relieve the pressure but it's sounding better and better every year.
Anyone with any advice or experience? I know there's no cure but I'd like to hear that there is something that can take most of this away. I know I'm reaching for stars huh?
Thank you

[Stubborn1]

Ummmmmm no one?

[Sugah]

I read your post, Stubborn1, but I hesitated to reply because pain is such a relative thing; even with similar conditions, how and how much we experience pain is difficult if not impossible to compare. I didn't always see it that way (it's really a rather recent shift in thinking for me).

I can tell you that I have significant back issues and similar conditions to those you describe, along with other pain issues. I don't take narcotic pain medication - or any prescription pain medication - for them now. I made the decision almost six years ago that I would try to live clean and sober, knowing that, as an addict, I could not responsibly take meds for chronic conditions.

I drew on many sources - AA & the steps, meditation/mindfulness, creative visualization, aroma therapy, breathing exercises, and others - and the early part of this journey was not physically or mentally pleasant. It takes a whole lot of willingness to learn to accept pain as part of life. I don't know that everyone can do it - and I don't make that statement with any insinuation that those who do learn to do it are any better than those who don't or can't.

My pain and my disabilities have changed my life in some pretty significant ways, but not all of those ways are "bad." I've found the gift within the pain - I can't rush through things, so I get to slow down and enjoy them; My capacity for compassion has increased; Allowing other people to help me brings a sense of fulfillment and purpose to their lives - and the list goes on.

The primary suggestion I have for you is to find a therapist (pain management or otherwise) who's willing to help you learn not only how to function in a state of pain but also how to look at your pain differently. Perhaps surgery is an option for you. It's not for me, so that's how I approach my pain. What can I do to live with the level of pain I'm in today? There are folks out there who can help you to answer that question, and I do hope that you'll give yourself that gift and try to track some of those folks down.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Stubborn1]

Thank you sugah. I also lived with no pain meds until I couldn't do it anymore. I had a strict "no drugs" policy but time cured that.
I think you touched an issue for me. I do not ask for help. I'm not sure if it's a pride thing for me and that it shows I am weak so I tough it out.
My pain management dr is the one doing the work up but it is a scary thing to go through alone. I'm scared what they are going to find. Having three children and this issue do not go hand in hand. I am all they have.
I'm finding that things are more and more uncomfortable as the years go by and things are becoming a chore. Since living with an alcoholic I worry about being on higher pain meds and becoming addicted so I do not go up higher on my medicine. That's the tricky part. I learned on my own that our bodies build up a tolerance. No one told me that. I had my first withdrawl off of codience and it was not fun and that's what made me go down in my medicine and never go up any higher.
I really do appreciate the support. It's nice to know I am not alone. I know everyone's experiences are different and I am finding that even the same back issue affect people in different ways.
I just want the best possible quality of life as I can so that I can give my children what they need.
Years ago I laid down cigerettes and no drinking (at all) I'm pretty proud of myself for that. I even had my ah who was abusive get out of the house. Now it's time to take care of me.
I've already learned a ton from the sticky at the top. I've been reading stories here as well. I want to be young again.

[crinkled]

Wow. I could have written that exact same thing a few months ago. My chiropractor has a pain management dr in his office. He had me go to him about 5 years ago. I began getting shots in my back as well as my neck. He also gave me a wonderful cocktail consisting of Vicodin, Percocet and Soma. After taking them for so many years it became "normal" for me. In fact, I knew that my insurance would let me get my refills 2 weeks before I was supposed to. I guess you could say I was working the system.

I had a car accident back in July and I truly believe it saved my life. I found a new chiropractor, I stopped taking everything. It was hard for a while. It still is actually, but I have 2 boys that I have to put first. I've had numerous MRIs, ct scans, xrays etc. I still have the pain, but I swear by my NEW chiropractor and his awesome massage therapist. Sometimes soaking in Epsom Salt helps a little bit.
I wish you the best and if I can think of anything else, I will let you know.

~Hugs~

[Stubborn1]

I have to soak in a hot bath every morning to feel normal and not eighty years old.
You'll never believe what happend late this afternoon. I was sitting here posting to you all and my big Golden retriever jumped up on my computer chair and flipped me backwards. I went off the side of the chair and hard on to the floor. Inches away from my sliding glass door. I saved my head. My back and toosh and nerves took a good blow. As I laid on the floor I asked my kids to hand me the phone and called my best friend because I was scared. I started to shiver so they grabbed me the blankets off my bed. I'm so scared I will be paralyzed if I hit something wrong.
My eight year old set up the couch nice and soft for me and helped me up off of the floor and stood watch. He was so sweet to me. I am so proud of him.
I don't know if I should call my dr to let her know of this. I may have injured more. It's pretty sore. I need a good solid chair. lol What a dork.

[crinkled]

That made me giggle. I'm sorry. Let me explain...I'm a total klutz (it must be a Florida thing, lol). I have 3 big dogs. My 120+ lb Chessie went chasing his toy (it bounced between my legs) and flipped me right over. I landed on my front, sprained my wrist and you guessed it, messed up my back (yet again). Not that it's in the best condition anyway.

That's scary. I hope you're feeling somewhat better. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Stubborn1]

I'm alive. I'll feel the pain when I get up in the morning. These dogs are always at my feet. I get up from the computer and they are there. Its usually dark as well. Or......they lie in my doorway at night and I go trotting out there and flip over one of them.
The best is when I put on my flip flops to pick the kids up from school and they get so excited to go that they are up my behind and stepping on the back of my flip flops and I can't walk for nothing.
The joys of being owned by dogs. I have two.

[crinkled]

OMG...lol. I think it's a conspiracy with the dogs. Mine do the exact same thing. I don't even bother wearing shoes in the house anymore. It's too dangerous. lol And I've done the whole tripping thing, too. It doesn't even have to be dark. *blush*
Have you ever tried BioFreeze?

[Stubborn1]

No, what's that? Something frozen for the back?
For my back I have a tens unit and Flector (anti inflammatory) patches. I'm willing to try anything. I sit in my computer chair with a bag of frozen veggies. lol
They should have a machine we can strap ourselves in and have a hand crank so we can stretch ourselves apart. Ahhhhhhhh that would feel so good. I'm just tired of the compression.

[serenityqueen]

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Lupus and have had back surgery for a ruptured disc and pinched nerves.

I am also a recovering addict . . . opiates being my drug of choice.


I've had to learn to live with a lot of pain. But also, there are meds out there that are not narcotics that have worked wonders for me. When I was using and would go to the Dr., I only filled the Rx's for the opiates, the rest went in the trash. Well, much to my surpise, "the rest" are the one's that are helping me more than ever. Once I surrendered in July of '05 and made myself realize that for this addict, even one opiate would result in a full blown relapse and death, I no longer even think of them as a choice today.

I think the biggest thing is that I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will always have a significant amt. of pain and have to accept it. Once I did that, it seems that I can tolerate a lot more pain.

I've also had to learn to ask for help with different things which is hard for me to do. When I was using, I used my diseases as a way of getting attention which I felt justified getting Rx's for pain therefore, I thought it justified my abusing these meds. So today, I don't want to call any attention to myself by asking for "special treatment" like using one of those electric wheelchair/scooter things in the grocery on days when the pain is severe. My Dr. wants me to start using a walker which I flat out refuse to do. I have humbled myself and accepted a cane, but I still can't bring myself to use it outside of my home. But I am going to the hospital to see my Mom tomorrow which is a huge amt. of walking so I'm making it my "bringing the cane out" day. I have to, after all, I'm only hurting myself by not using it.

Acceptance is one of those words that really seems to be appropriate in more ways than coping with my addiction . . . it seems to be a motto for most things in life for me.

God Bless,
Judy

[crinkled]

Instead of something like IcyHot, it's cryotherapy. I get it at my chiropractor's. It's for arthritis, muscles, joints, backache etc.

It's funny you should mention that, I've always thought that they should bring back the "rack". But I guess torture devices are out of the question. lol
Notice my "name". I feel like a crinkled up piece of paper most days.

[Stubborn1]

Thanks serenityqueen. I know what you mean about the cane. A cane wouldn't relieve the pressure. More like a walker and I will fight that as long as possible. I've reached out for the pain, it's just a scary journey.
Thank you for your response. I appreciate it.

[Stubborn1]

Originally Posted by crinkled

Instead of something like IcyHot, it's cryotherapy. I get it at my chiropractor's. It's for arthritis, muscles, joints, backache etc.

It's funny you should mention that, I've always thought that they should bring back the "rack". But I guess torture devices are out of the question. lol
Notice my "name". I feel like a crinkled up piece of paper most days.

Where do I get it and does it honestly work? Better then a tens unit?
I tried a chiro years ago and he could not adjust me, too tight or too damaged. I went six times and he told me I should see a neurologist. I'm telling you. I am so out of whack.
I went to physical therapy and they hurt me to the point I was crying. They never gave me water therapy or message therapy like they were scripted to do. My dr told me to stop going. They were only irratating it. Bone on bone.

Yes the torture device would be sooooooo nice.

[crinkled]

I usually get the massage before the adjustment to loosen up. I'm sending you a PM. I had to get 5 posts in before I could. lol

[Sugah]

Just ducking in and out.... and diverting just a bit.

Judy, about the cane: I have several fancy canes, and rather than folks asking why I walk with a cane (which happened a lot w/my old ones - not that it bothered me), now they ask me where I find them! Seems everyone has a relative who's hard to buy for, and so I send them to my "pretty cane" sources.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Stubborn1]

I'll tell you what........today I need a cane. My entire left side hurts from falling out of this chair. I called the dr's office and they said they would leave a message for the dr. I don't know what they can do. My sister said I should go in but it's a very long drive and I don't want to sit for that long. My butt and back hurts that bad.
I felt like one of those commercial where the old woman says "I've fallen and I can't get up"......that was me. If I didn't hurt so bad it would have made for a great laugh. Normally my kids would laugh but they were very concerned. I hate that I fell in front of them.

[Stubborn1]

OUCH. I went in to see the Dr and she gave me a shot. It feels like I am leaning on a golf ball. I've never had one before so this will be interesting to see if it works. I'm not sure what hurt worse......the pain or the area where the shot is. I have frozen veggies on my butt/back.
She wanted to put me on stronger muscle relaxers and I told her I didn't want to do that. I explained the pain meds were not working for my pain and did not want to go higher so we will have to find another way. That's when she suggested the shot. I cried for a second because I get scared. I think it's anxiety of not wanting "more" pain. But I did it and it sucked.
Anyone else ever have a shot? It was a steriod/cortisone shot. It hurts like heck right now. When does it start feeling better?

[barb dwyer]

I jokingly said I would like to have an extended metal rod in my back to relieve the pressure but it's sounding better and better every year.
Anyone with any advice or experience?

my next door neighbor has one of those.
(an ex nurse and also my step-sponsor)
And she takes no pain meds at all says the surgery was the best thing to ever happen to her.

It took me months to realize I *had* chronic pain and had HAD it for years.

I liked your statement pain=cranky=meds=cranky or whatever it was.

And =- welcome to the forum!

[Sugah]

Hope the shot fixes you up, Stubborn. Are you using peas? Seems I've heard if you're going to use frozen veggies, that's the best kind since they mold easier.

Um, Barb? What the hell is a "step-sponsor???" That's definitely a first for me!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[MROBI]

i would respond but i think i'm banned from posting here. but i can relate . your not alone.

pain lets me know i'm still alive. if it were not for pain i dont think i would have any feelings at all. i sincerly hope you feel better and get some releif.

[Emimily]

have you tried any yoga? really slow, gentle asanas with lots of breathwork? i found that yoga helps my back, my hips, and my knees (snowboarding, skateboarding, tennis, running, and softball damage).

also, maybe swimming? i know that swimming always helps me stretch out my limbs and my back. my favorite yoga instructor sees a massage therapist... maybe you could hook up with one who's still in school? my friend brian used to use us for practice.

good luck!

[jazpoppy]

Dear Stubborn and all other back pain/chronic pain sufferers:

I know how you feel! I've got the lower back/butt pain that travels down my left leg and then I have my right hip which is about an inch above my left hip, so one leg is longer than the other, I walk kinda funny! I also have herniated disks, transitioning vertebrae (not sure where its transitioning to??? *LOL*), spinal stenosis, and osteoarthritis of the facet joints in my spine, as well as a shattered knee cap and chronic tendonitis in my left ankle. Oh pain is just something I wake up with and lay down with each and every day. I am on pain medication, but only after years of suffering with mega amounts of motrin 800 and tylenols. My doctor says I was ruining my liver and kidneys taking so many NSAIDS, but I could not get enough relief so I took a lot! I've done Physical Therapy, TENS units (I like TENS, but don't have the money to buy one, does anyone know how I can get one for low price or free?), epidural steriod shots (about 8 times, but the relief only lasted 2 weeks and I can't have anymore now), steriod packs (prednisone tapers) they made me gain 20lbs and get really mean and cranky! I've done massage, chiropractors, lidocaine patches, bengay, heat, ice, you name it, I've tried it! Even the homeopaethic therapies! I hate codeine, ultram, darvocet and vicodin, I was prescribed those off and on so much I got sick to my stomach from the tylenol in them. The ultram worked at first, but I had a seizure on them. So previous pain doctors had me try Morphine (made me itchy and rashy), Duragesic Patches (burned my skin), oxycodone (like percocet without tylenol, but it gave me migraines), and now finally, I'm on methadone. Its the only thing that works for me so far. I have been on the same dose for over a year and don't plan on any increases at all! I feel normal (I don't get high thank goodness!!!) and I also have it administered to me by a sober significant other so its not within my own reach most of the time, and even when it is, I don't have any desire to get high off of it!!! Its my lifeline, it helps me take care of my son, get out of the house and go shopping, clean the house, cook dinner, and look for part-time work (I am out of work after working for the State of NH for 12 years!). I love to work, I'm a computer technician, and I miss it, but it was hard on my body, I had to carry heavy computer equipment and crawl around on floors and under desks, I cannot do that anymore. So I'm applying for SSDI and I'll work part-time as a help-desk phone support person (if I can find a job in this economy). I also take lidocaine patches still, sometimes I take Soma (Muscle Relaxor), and I also still take a limited amount of ibuprofen and tylenol. I manage! If I were to start abusing my meds, I'd detox off them real quick and I'd just have to deal with the pain. I eventually want to deal with my pain without medicine, but I need a couple of surgeries first. Anyways, I know the chronic pain game. Its very tiring! Its also so hard to get SSDI and I have these pain issues as well as depression, anxiety and PTSD so I should qualify! Well anyways, good luck Stubborn. Keep posting and welcome to SR!

Love;

Jaz

[Latte]

Pain clinic.

If you find a really good one, they will work with you to minimize your narcotic use and they know so many new ways to treat pain these days. They specialize in the treatment of pain, that is all they do.

My husband has a traction device that our insurance (Tricare) paid for.