Update and Greetings from Barb Dwyer ...

[barb dwyer]

... who, these days is surely a 'donkey on the edge'
(if anyone loved the movie Shrek)

All is as 'ok' as can be, considering my savings is almost gone, I'm borrowing $$$ from friends to stay afloat, and looking for a part - time job, waiting on this 'emergency' disability to kick in (there's a snag with my social security that has to be cleared up, but they will pay retro-active when that's done) ...

*sigh*

I have my moments of full bore panic, but they are 'doable' I suppose.
When I have a panic attack, I wash the walls. Well - first I *climb* them, then I wash them... I clean ferociously when I panic.
Here lately - I guaranteee I've the cleanest walls in the city!
My neighbor and landlord are worried that this delay in getting papers arranged so bureaurocrats can go poop they way THEY want to, is pushing me into doing too much too early in the whole thyrodian saga...
but what choice *is* there, really?

Rent will continue to back up.
Power will continue to bill me for service.

I'm losing my neighbor, she's moving across town, so now I'm going to have NO computer access. And that's got me bummed to the max.
I miss my cyber family in Soberrecovery terribly, and am constantly asking what's new on the site when I talk to someone from here.

I wanted everyone to know how much I'm missing you and your support, your humor and even the aggravating ones!

I keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

So please say a prayer for me,
Soberrecovery is such a powerful prayer resource...

I need all the direction I can get these days!

[barb dwyer]

P.S.

somewhere in all that - I managed to lose ten pounds.

There's always a bright side.

[lizw]

I read this great thing yesterday about how the phrase 'This too shall pass.'

Turns out King Solomon assembled all his wise men together and asked them to find a cure for his depression. They meditated for a long time then came back to him with this: Make your self a ring and have 'This too shall pass' engraved on it.

He followed their advice and wore the ring constantly and when ever he felt down or depressed he'd look at his ring on his finger and his mood would change to one of cheerfulness.

Pretty cool eh? I think that is something I will remember for along time yet.

[Sugah]

Prayers, Barb. Hang in there - and don't wash off the paint!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[DesertEyes]

Hey there Barb, and have a big ol' ((((( hug )))) across the internet. I know how scary that can be, I've been there a few times myself.

What I do is get more involved in the local recovery scene. Go to more meets, volunteer on the phone line, at the central office. Anything to keep my mind working on something positive and constructive. Staying home alone is the _worst_ thing for me.

Yes, I'm praying for you every day, and I pray for you when we hold hands at a meet and pray, so there's a whole room full of people praying for you.

Mike

[NoelleR]

Originally Posted by lizw

I read this great thing yesterday about how the phrase 'This too shall pass.'

Turns out King Solomon assembled all his wise men together and asked them to find a cure for his depression. They meditated for a long time then came back to him with this: Make your self a ring and have 'This too shall pass' engraved on it.

He followed their advice and wore the ring constantly and when ever he felt down or depressed he'd look at his ring on his finger and his mood would change to one of cheerfulness.

Pretty cool eh? I think that is something I will remember for along time yet.

Yes, pretty kewl, and a nice, cute story, however it's not scriptural....."This too shall pass" seems to fall into the same category as "Cleanliness is next to godliness" and "God helps those who help themselves." They're nice, and they sound like they should be in the Bible, but they ain't.....ah well, mebbe it needs a rewrite....? lol

There is however an old tale about an Oriental monarch who asked his wise men to come up with a sentence that would suit every occasion, good or bad, and this is the phrase they came up with.....hmmm, Oriental monarch...? ...Solomon....?


NoelleR

[barb dwyer]

Thanks y'all -

Desert -
YOU.. are so ON the money.

I had another freakout - and used my key to my neighbor's house and cleaned HER house instead. She works tow jobs, and has been a constant support for me in all this. So I 'gifted' her a freakout cleaning.
She was THRILLED.
Now I've got the rest of her family
(and also the bible study group I attend)
trying to give me keys to THEIR houses ...


I also contacted the MT Literacy Project
I'm a licenced
(for what THAT'S worth) tutor,
and haven't done any actual tutoring in a long time.

You nailed it, dude.

The panics still come fairly regular, but I just get busy.
At least as busy as this body will let me get.

I have the greatest landlord in the WORLD...
she keeps saying 'it's okay barb, I know I know'
I haven't been able to pay her rent in two months.
But she's not worried about it.
At least... in front of me.
As long as the papers are IN the woerks...
she says relax.

Wow.
Did GOD send her, or WHAT?????
Now if only the power company would get a clue.

I *did* get some positive movement this week from the bureaucracy
and that helps.
To hear from them from time to time.

thanks again, y'all.

[MROBI]

i hope your o.k. there. sounds like you have panic attacks. there are some great breathing techniques that work well in different situations. if you are interested i can describe them to you.