Working the steps: #2

[DesertEyes]

Working the steps: #2

This is a little exercise I learned in my program of AA. Whenever I'm up against one of life's obstacles I re-word the steps to fit the obstacle. Then I work the steps just like I do for my addiction.

2- Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

What is "sanity" anwyay? I used to think it meant being like everybody else, but now I realize it's much simpler. It just means "healthy". That in the long run it's going to be good for me. Like having surgery, it sucks at first, but once I recover I'm _so_ grateful that I had it done.

"restore us to sanity". That part makes sense to me. If I fail to take care of my health and follow docs instruction my body will get worse very quickly. This progam of recovery helps me stay focused on taking the actions I need in order to have a good life in the long run. I may have lousy days, but overall I'm going to be _alive_, which is much better than being dead. Among the "insane" things I do when I not working my program is forget to take my meds. That is definetly insane, considering my condition. Working my program helps me overcome the denial and _take_ my meds.

"could resotre us to sanity". That "could" word is the tricky part. It doesn't say "will". It doesn't say that I'm just going to get some kind of magical gift for free. The word "could" tells me that there is a condition involved, that I am going to have to _earn_ this "restoration of my sanity".

"a power greater than ourselves". This one is easy. I spent my whole life trying to force the world to fit my expectations. _I_ was the "greater power" that was going to show everybody else how to fix their lives. I was convinced that if I worked hard enough, tried hard enough, I could make things happen. When I didn't think a doctor was right, I'd show him by _not_ doing what he recommended. Believing that I am that "greater power" is part of my "insanity". It gets me in very un-healthful situations.

"Came to believe". That phrase doesn't say anything about who or what this "higher power" is. All it says is that if I quit being my own higher power, I will be able to have a "sane" life. That is the condition that the phrase "could restore us to sanity" is talking about. What this step tells me is that I _can_ have a sane life, _if_ I quit trying to be my own higher power.

That's it. Nothing more. All I have to do is let go of my ego, recognize that there are people who know more about my disease than I do (duh, I never went to medical school !!!) and things will get better.

Pretty simple. So why is it so durn hard for me to actually _do_ it? Easy to read, but it doesn't work unless I put it in action.

So fine. I will begin _today_, and for my first action of the day involving step two I am going to go take my morning meds, which I somehow "forgot" when I got up and had breakfast. Imagine that. * lol *

Mike

[Alera]

I know what you mean about easy to read, but still need to put into practice. You can count me in the same group as you when it comes to that!

I just did something myself that I should have done a long time ago...and that I've been doing all the reading but none of the action. Thanks for the great post Mike.

[barb dwyer]

wow. dude. tear it up!!!

That's a fabulous extrapolation of the second step!