Morphine Pump for Chronic Pain; My Decision. - Page 5 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Impurrfect · 07-02-2008, 04:35 PM

Hey Barb! Good to see you!

How are you doing KSOS?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

ksos · 07-03-2008, 01:43 AM

Hi Amy and Barb....

I am awake and is is 4:33 in the morn....I have some pretty good news. I have my second and last interview for a supervisory job in Manhattan this afternoon. I like the atmosphere at the place although if I do receive a job offer, I need to broach the topic of needing 3 days off (for the pump, if and when the insurance donkeys make up their mindless minds...

I am fine, Amy. How are you? How is everyone? This thread is sort of the gordian knot....I need someone to explain what I just said, LOL!

Ksos

!!!!

Impurrfect · 07-03-2008, 01:57 AM

Way to go on the interview!!! We'll be there with you, but let us know how it goes.

I'm doing good. I had a rough night at work, last night. Got into a huge argument with one of my mgrs, seriously thought about going to my dr. for something for my nerves (huge red flag). So, I called the mgr back, apologized and explained why I was so angry (they want the dining room clean, but want me off the clock early and I can't do both). She apologized, too, and we are cool. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders!

I'm glad that when I even THINK about getting something to deal with life, that I recognize it as a red flag and use my recovery tools.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

**51anna** · 07-03-2008, 09:40 AM

Sending lots of prayers and positive vibes your way Ksos!

I hope you breeze through the interview and get the job. It sounds good.

**DesertEyes** · 07-03-2008, 03:20 PM

Hey Ksos, praying for you on that interview

Mike

ksos · 07-06-2008, 02:50 AM

Hey Amy, Anna, and Mike!

I had a wonderful interview, actually, and I did "breeze" through it, too! I had the interview in the late part of the afternoon on Thursday, and I felt a calm but positive feeling about my chances. We shall wait and see, but I do think an answer will be forthcoming!

I hope you all had a pain-free hoiliday! I was a bit sick because I have not been eating solid foods for several days and drinking way too much of this berry flavored juice I've become addicted to, so my stomach paid the piper for a few days! I managed to eat a piece of bread today--it is so hard to eat nowadays with what can happen painwise, but everything is okay, now.

No news on pump front, except that the appeal has been submitted.

PS: Amy, I am happy you resolved that issue and usd the tools that we so often know, but sometimes forget to employ...Some of my biggest problems came at the workplace, since it is such an intense environment and like you said, there are always issues...Stay cool, that's all I wanted to say...

Mike, I hope you have been feeling okay over these past few days...I know your situation and I think about you a lot, buddy. Even if I am not here on the board, you are on my mind as all of you "peeps" are! I just forget about asking others about their pain as this thread has morphed into something so wonderous for me, you know? Yet, I feel that I have not been there for some of you and I know that others here are hurting and that some folks who are not here, are really hurting...

I have to sleep a little now since I stayed up all night!

ksos · 07-17-2008, 12:10 PM

Hello My SR Family,

I have not been here for a week or so, but nothing bad has happened. In fact, I have something to tell you all that may put this thread to sleep, finally!

My insurance company reversed the initial denial made for my receiving the morphine pump and I was approved for this procedure!

All of your prayers and support through the miserable period of time I did experience during the time from the denial letter to last night when I went down to get my mail, have been rewarded, heard, and I do not know if I would have remained abstinent if it weren't for all off your PMs. e-mails, prayers, fuinny jokes, or simply a "Hi K, How are ya?"

Some of you know me better than others, but I think you all knew how upset I was over the initial denial. However, my MD wrote such a heartfelt, beautiful letter, that anyone who would have denied my appeal, would have had to have been heartless. I assure you that if I posted it with the oobvious ommisions of my name and addrees, 90% of you woukd have cried. I never had a medical office go to the extent that this office did. I was speechless when I read the letter in office.

I do not have a date for admission yet, but I will make sure that you all will know when I do go in. It will be for three days and there is no recuperation time needed according to my MD. I believe that the time factor is probably to remove me from all of the pain medications I am on, since I will no longer be in methadone or nuerontin.

If this works, I feel as if I will have a new lease on life.

Thank you all so much,

K-

Sugah · 07-17-2008, 12:34 PM

Wonderful news!

Prayers answered... imagine that !

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Impurrfect · 07-17-2008, 02:22 PM

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I was going to e-mail you earlier, but fell asleep

Been suffering from a summer cold and it's kicking my butt!

I'm SO glad the denial was overturned! I'm also glad you're here with us! I know I've gotten through a lot of situations that would have overwhelmed me, but they didn't because I had my friends here helping me get through it!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

**DesertEyes** · 07-17-2008, 05:36 PM

K, that's the best news I've heard in a long time. I am _so_ glad for you. It's good to know that sometimes the good people win against the giant corporations.

Mike

barb dwyer · 07-17-2008, 06:24 PM

*applause*

Frog_2hop · 07-20-2008, 04:31 AM

My STBX went through a very similar scenario prior to getting his pain pump. He had multiple rejections and approvals that flip flopped back and forth for years. We actually got to the hospital for the procedure one time when we found out that the insurance approved the pump BUT NOT THE MEDS that are used in the pump! He finally did get the necessary approval and the pump was implanted almost two years ago. His is different than the one pictured above though, his is implanted in his stomach with the tubes under his skin around the side then into his spinal system. He had a trial pump for a few days that was external like the picture to see if it would work first. THe first trial didn't work because he was on such high doses of oral meds (and deep in the addiction part) so they sent him to detox, but he was made to leave because he wouldn't cooperate. They did the trial again and it 'worked' so he had the real deal implanted. He has a much different attitude than you about recovery however, therefore the pump did not work for him. His family and I question if the second trial 'working' was not honest because he hadn't actually detoxed. The pump continues to get turned up and up and up and still does not control his pain. He is on just as many orals as he had prior to the pump in addition to the pump. The amount of pain relief orals give compared to the pump is minor but it does give him the 'checked out' feeling that the addicted part of him seeks.

I'm am sharing this story just as a heads up. I've read your posts and you sound as though recovery is part of your plan. It wasn't for him. I still believe the pump was the right decision but I think the docs should have ensured the he had a successful detox first and that continued recovery of the addiction was maintained. Since then, he has been refused services by the pump doc because of his demands for orals that he is no longer allowed, and dishonesty between multiple docs to obtain the orals. The pump doc warned him multiple times that he would no longer be able to maintain the meds in his pump if he wasn't sure of what orals are also entering his system. He has bopped between a few other docs that can manage the pump, but resists all efforts to assist with pain other than orals so he is burning bridges behind himself. He refuses physical therapy, he refuses all assistance to reduce the amount of orals he takes.

I am not wanting this post to sound negative about your upcoming procedure. If we were to choose again, I'd go for it all over again because I believe with the right attitude and effort it is the window of opportunity to manage pain and addiction to have a successful and productive life. BUT it is not a cure - rather just a window. You have to take the opportunity it provides you and still work your program thoroughly.

In this process I have met many people in person and online that have had the pump and had great success with it. Some have had flaws like the one who posted about with the leak, but if you are aware and close...there are risks with everything you could do.

Good luck to you. Stay strong and focused on the outcome. Surround yourself with all the resources to make this work for you. It sounds from your posts that you have the right outlook to be a success story.

**51anna** · 07-21-2008, 02:15 PM

Hi Ksos,

I missed your post from a few days ago.

I am thrilled for you! This is such good news, even though it's been a bit of a roller-coaster for you. I can't wait to hear from you when you get the procedure done, hopefully soon.

**51anna** · 07-23-2008, 04:27 PM

Has anyone heard anything from Ksos?

jazpoppy · 07-24-2008, 02:37 PM

Yeah KSOS!!!!

I knew you'd get that pump! You deserve to be pain free or at least relatively pain free (from a chronic pain patient's standpoint of "pain free"). I'm very excited for you! Let us know when the BIG DAY is so we can pray for you and send well wishes your way!

Love

Jazzy

07-02-2008, 04:35 PM	#101 (permalink)
Impurrfect Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 4,137	Hey Barb! Good to see you! How are you doing KSOS? Hugs and prayers! Amy
	__________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

07-03-2008, 01:43 AM	#102 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	Insommnia and The Interview Hi Amy and Barb.... I am awake and is is 4:33 in the morn....I have some pretty good news. I have my second and last interview for a supervisory job in Manhattan this afternoon. I like the atmosphere at the place although if I do receive a job offer, I need to broach the topic of needing 3 days off (for the pump, if and when the insurance donkeys make up their mindless minds... I am fine, Amy. How are you? How is everyone? This thread is sort of the gordian knot....I need someone to explain what I just said, LOL! Ksos !!!!

07-03-2008, 01:57 AM	#103 (permalink)
Impurrfect Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 4,137	Way to go on the interview!!! We'll be there with you, but let us know how it goes. I'm doing good. I had a rough night at work, last night. Got into a huge argument with one of my mgrs, seriously thought about going to my dr. for something for my nerves (huge red flag). So, I called the mgr back, apologized and explained why I was so angry (they want the dining room clean, but want me off the clock early and I can't do both). She apologized, too, and we are cool. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! I'm glad that when I even THINK about getting something to deal with life, that I recognize it as a red flag and use my recovery tools. Hugs and prayers! Amy
	__________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

07-03-2008, 09:40 AM	#104 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,186	Sending lots of prayers and positive vibes your way Ksos! I hope you breeze through the interview and get the job. It sounds good.
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

07-03-2008, 03:20 PM	#105 (permalink)
DesertEyes Starting over Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Skin city Posts: 2,055	Hey Ksos, praying for you on that interview Mike
	__________________ Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings.

07-06-2008, 02:50 AM	#106 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	Hey Amy, Anna, and Mike! I had a wonderful interview, actually, and I did "breeze" through it, too! I had the interview in the late part of the afternoon on Thursday, and I felt a calm but positive feeling about my chances. We shall wait and see, but I do think an answer will be forthcoming! I hope you all had a pain-free hoiliday! I was a bit sick because I have not been eating solid foods for several days and drinking way too much of this berry flavored juice I've become addicted to, so my stomach paid the piper for a few days! I managed to eat a piece of bread today--it is so hard to eat nowadays with what can happen painwise, but everything is okay, now. No news on pump front, except that the appeal has been submitted. PS: Amy, I am happy you resolved that issue and usd the tools that we so often know, but sometimes forget to employ...Some of my biggest problems came at the workplace, since it is such an intense environment and like you said, there are always issues...Stay cool, that's all I wanted to say... Mike, I hope you have been feeling okay over these past few days...I know your situation and I think about you a lot, buddy. Even if I am not here on the board, you are on my mind as all of you "peeps" are! I just forget about asking others about their pain as this thread has morphed into something so wonderous for me, you know? Yet, I feel that I have not been there for some of you and I know that others here are hurting and that some folks who are not here, are really hurting... I have to sleep a little now since I stayed up all night!
	__________________ Ksos "If Enough people Call You A Duck, You Better Start Quacking."

07-17-2008, 12:10 PM	#107 (permalink)
ksos Waiting For Engines Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 545	It Was Approved! Decision was Overturned!!!! Hello My SR Family, I have not been here for a week or so, but nothing bad has happened. In fact, I have something to tell you all that may put this thread to sleep, finally! My insurance company reversed the initial denial made for my receiving the morphine pump and I was approved for this procedure! All of your prayers and support through the miserable period of time I did experience during the time from the denial letter to last night when I went down to get my mail, have been rewarded, heard, and I do not know if I would have remained abstinent if it weren't for all off your PMs. e-mails, prayers, fuinny jokes, or simply a "Hi K, How are ya?" Some of you know me better than others, but I think you all knew how upset I was over the initial denial. However, my MD wrote such a heartfelt, beautiful letter, that anyone who would have denied my appeal, would have had to have been heartless. I assure you that if I posted it with the oobvious ommisions of my name and addrees, 90% of you woukd have cried. I never had a medical office go to the extent that this office did. I was speechless when I read the letter in office. I do not have a date for admission yet, but I will make sure that you all will know when I do go in. It will be for three days and there is no recuperation time needed according to my MD. I believe that the time factor is probably to remove me from all of the pain medications I am on, since I will no longer be in methadone or nuerontin. If this works, I feel as if I will have a new lease on life. Thank you all so much, K-
	__________________ Ksos "If Enough people Call You A Duck, You Better Start Quacking."

07-17-2008, 12:34 PM	#108 (permalink)
Sugah Om, Aum, Ohm... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Punxsutawney, PA Posts: 1,992	Wonderful news! Prayers answered... imagine that ! Peace & Love, Sugah
	__________________ Oh, this old world keeps spinning round Its a wonder tall trees aint layin down There comes a time.

07-17-2008, 02:22 PM	#109 (permalink)
Impurrfect Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 4,137	YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I was going to e-mail you earlier, but fell asleep Been suffering from a summer cold and it's kicking my butt! I'm SO glad the denial was overturned! I'm also glad you're here with us! I know I've gotten through a lot of situations that would have overwhelmed me, but they didn't because I had my friends here helping me get through it! Hugs and prayers! Amy
	__________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

07-17-2008, 05:36 PM	#110 (permalink)
DesertEyes Starting over Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Skin city Posts: 2,055	K, that's the best news I've heard in a long time. I am _so_ glad for you. It's good to know that sometimes the good people win against the giant corporations. Mike
	__________________ Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings.

07-17-2008, 06:24 PM	#111 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 7,002	applause
	__________________ objects in mirror are closer than they appear

07-20-2008, 04:31 AM	#112 (permalink)
Frog_2hop Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Almost 'me' again Posts: 100	My STBX went through a very similar scenario prior to getting his pain pump. He had multiple rejections and approvals that flip flopped back and forth for years. We actually got to the hospital for the procedure one time when we found out that the insurance approved the pump BUT NOT THE MEDS that are used in the pump! He finally did get the necessary approval and the pump was implanted almost two years ago. His is different than the one pictured above though, his is implanted in his stomach with the tubes under his skin around the side then into his spinal system. He had a trial pump for a few days that was external like the picture to see if it would work first. THe first trial didn't work because he was on such high doses of oral meds (and deep in the addiction part) so they sent him to detox, but he was made to leave because he wouldn't cooperate. They did the trial again and it 'worked' so he had the real deal implanted. He has a much different attitude than you about recovery however, therefore the pump did not work for him. His family and I question if the second trial 'working' was not honest because he hadn't actually detoxed. The pump continues to get turned up and up and up and still does not control his pain. He is on just as many orals as he had prior to the pump in addition to the pump. The amount of pain relief orals give compared to the pump is minor but it does give him the 'checked out' feeling that the addicted part of him seeks. I'm am sharing this story just as a heads up. I've read your posts and you sound as though recovery is part of your plan. It wasn't for him. I still believe the pump was the right decision but I think the docs should have ensured the he had a successful detox first and that continued recovery of the addiction was maintained. Since then, he has been refused services by the pump doc because of his demands for orals that he is no longer allowed, and dishonesty between multiple docs to obtain the orals. The pump doc warned him multiple times that he would no longer be able to maintain the meds in his pump if he wasn't sure of what orals are also entering his system. He has bopped between a few other docs that can manage the pump, but resists all efforts to assist with pain other than orals so he is burning bridges behind himself. He refuses physical therapy, he refuses all assistance to reduce the amount of orals he takes. I am not wanting this post to sound negative about your upcoming procedure. If we were to choose again, I'd go for it all over again because I believe with the right attitude and effort it is the window of opportunity to manage pain and addiction to have a successful and productive life. BUT it is not a cure - rather just a window. You have to take the opportunity it provides you and still work your program thoroughly. In this process I have met many people in person and online that have had the pump and had great success with it. Some have had flaws like the one who posted about with the leak, but if you are aware and close...there are risks with everything you could do. Good luck to you. Stay strong and focused on the outcome. Surround yourself with all the resources to make this work for you. It sounds from your posts that you have the right outlook to be a success story.
	__________________ Where two or more are gathered.....

07-21-2008, 02:15 PM	#113 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,186	Hi Ksos, I missed your post from a few days ago. I am thrilled for you! This is such good news, even though it's been a bit of a roller-coaster for you. I can't wait to hear from you when you get the procedure done, hopefully soon.
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

07-23-2008, 04:27 PM	#114 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,186	Has anyone heard anything from Ksos?
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

07-24-2008, 02:37 PM	#115 (permalink)
jazpoppy This catz gone wild!!! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Wonderland... Posts: 272	Yeah KSOS!!!! I knew you'd get that pump! You deserve to be pain free or at least relatively pain free (from a chronic pain patient's standpoint of "pain free"). I'm very excited for you! Let us know when the BIG DAY is so we can pray for you and send well wishes your way! Love Jazzy
	__________________ Practice "self-compassion". Let go of those "stupid" everyday trivial things that can bring a recovering addict to their knees. Its more important to focus on yourself and love yourself even if you do "mess-up a bit".