Morphine Pump for Chronic Pain; My Decision.

[Impurrfect]

Ditto what Barb said

[serenityqueen]

ksos,

You have your own not so little fan club going on here, don't you? lol

Do you feel like you're answering fan mail?

Just checking in to see if you've got an admit date yet.

I'm keeping you in my Prayers . . . as always.

Love ya Hon,
Judy

[ksos]

Originally Posted by Alera

On the lower doses I didn't have any drowsiness. On the higher doses I did, but that's to be expected for a bit of time.

On all doses, it basically turned me into a person with narcolepsy. This may be related to my Sleep paralysis but I have no idea. On the lower doses, the neurotin did not make me drowsy but if I did as much as sit down, I would fall asleep. I would sit down to smoke on the outside stairs and suddenly wake up. I literally would have to stand up to keep awake. I would have no symptoms that I would be falling asleep, no drowsiness before hand. I would literally be awake one minute and asleep the next. It was horrible if I was talking to someone and sat down with thinking.

Hope that answers your question. Sorry it took me so long to reply, been doing schoolwork over the weekend.

Hi Alera...

I haven't been here in a while and I am sorry for not checking in with my SR family, but I have no news about when I am going to be admitted for the procedure. I am really not doing to well waiting, as I can barely move at this point...But, to the Nuerontin issue...

I also fall asleep on a dime and it is definitely when I take the Nuerontin as opposed to just the methadone. I was with my folks the other day and my Dad asked me if I wanted to drive his pride and joy 4X4, and I told him no thanks. I am really afraid of smashing up people and vehicles if I drive and fortunately I do not have a car and have no plans or money to get one.

Yeah. I agree with the narcolepsey type syndrome and I hope it disappears when I get this all done...

Thanks for the research and keep up with your schoolwork!

[ksos]

Originally Posted by serenityqueen

ksos,

You have your own not so little fan club going on here, don't you? lol

Do you feel like you're answering fan mail?

Just checking in to see if you've got an admit date yet.

I'm keeping you in my Prayers . . . as always.

Love ya Hon,
Judy

Ah Judy....

Yes, I am very surprised at the popularity of this topic and have truly appreciated the kindness of everyone here...Unfortunately, I wish I had more positve news re: an admission date. I was told that this may take some time, but the good news is the actual pump mechanism was approved as is the hospitalization, which is about three days.

Apparently, it is just a matter of scheduling, and I am somewhat down in the dumps about this not occuring, to be honest. I feel horrible, despite having medication and all of your support and my outside support as well...It is very difficult for me to walk lately and I did not want this to occur, but maybe it just confirmed the need for this procedure.

I definitely will let you know when I am going in...I just hope I can have a say as to the day, since I do have some important things to take care of before the admission, but I am not worried about that stuff quite yet!

Thanks for the prayers, and I feel the support.

[butterflylover]

My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

[ksos]

Hey folks,

Here is the latest news, which is about the same as all the news thus far.

I called my PM MD's office today to check on the status of my surgery and the admission date and, thus far, the process is all, but completed, except I am awaiting the insurance approval.

I asked the person who has been handling this whole thing why is this taking so long, and she said it is up to my insurance. I replied that I was informed that the pump and device were approved, which they were, and she said it is the hospital stay that is pending the approval.

For once, I would love these suits to feel 20 minutes of what I feel. I went out today in Brooklyn's 98 degree heat and was heading to my first NA meeting of the day, and I suddenly felt dizzy and started having palpitations like a panic attack, but I remembered that I haven't had a PA in almost 20 years. I had to turn back, and I felt like crap for missing the meeting. I was so pissed off about this entire situation, but that was it...

I called my sponsor and he said he will come and walk with me tonight to my home meeting, but I just feel like I am losing my strength...I never felt this way before.

I am 6'1 and 220 pounds and before this pancreatitis hit me in 2004, I felt vital, strong, and walked with confidence. Now, I am like an old man--even my Dad at 70 years old, looks better than I do.

I am just really depressed today, but you all make me feel better...Thanks for all the prayers, too.

Love always,

Ksos

[51anna]

Ksos, I think it's probably hitting you hard right now because this is an emotional ride that you are on. You've been waiting for this procedure to happen 'anytime' for quite awhile. And, waiting for something like that, has to be hard. This could be life-altering for you and you're kind of stuck waiting for the bureaucracy.

Hang in there and you'll get through this.

[ksos]

Thanks Anna, for the supportive words, and you are so right about the bureaucracy of this healthcare system we have, although I would probably be dead by now if I lived somewhere else!

I feel a bit better now since I had a very rewarding time with my parents who came in to hot New York to visit me. They have been ultra-supportive of me, although I have admittedly kept them away from this issue since they become very nervous about anything relating to my health. They happen to be very healthy people, and are the type of seniors that one sees on those shows for fitness and nutrition--Thank the Lord for that!

I suppose that the heat of NY, as well as my somewhat isolative lifestyle, sometimes gets me down, too. I am a bit fearful of even making a 30 minute subway trip into NYC for a prescription tomorrow, because I do not know if I can stand the heat. It is expected to be close to 98 degrees here and if anyone has ever traveled the hell tubes of the trains--Man, just thinking about is causing me anxiety!

Ok. One day at a Time. Have to remember that one...

Thanks, Anna, for the usual support!

Ksos

[Alera]

Just dropping by to get the update. Sorry you are still waiting for the insurance to kick in for the actual hospital visit. I'm still praying for you nightly that you will have strength as you continue through this journey.

[ksos]

Originally Posted by Alera

Just dropping by to get the update. Sorry you are still waiting for the insurance to kick in for the actual hospital visit. I'm still praying for you nightly that you will have strength as you continue through this journey.

Hi Alera!

The update so far is the same, although I went to my MD's office and spoke to the kind lady who is "in charge" of obtaining the approval and basically said to her, "I know you are working on this, but I do not know how much longer I can function."

Unfortunately for me, I was dressed in my best suit since I had an interview for a terrific job before, so I did not look the part of the sick patient...It is difficult for me to hide it, but my life is literally in the hands of this woman. I sensed that she is concerned but if it were a relative of hers...One of the staff asked if I were an attending MD working at the hospital--How I wish!

I do think I am going to get news next week and I will be approved and admitted around that time. I just cannot see it lasting much longer.

Thnaks for your prayers of strength for me, Alera, and I believe that they are working, as I was able to make 2 interviews and a few grueling trips in to Manhattan for my interviews...I just pushed myself and I am proud of that...

Always,

Ksos

[Impurrfect]

(((KSOS)))

Thanks for the update. I really hope you get approved and get the procedure done soon.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[Sugah]

Hi, ksos. I just read through this thread and thought I would add my experience to it. I had a morphine pump in 2001. I was not clean at the time, and the reason that it was recommended was that I was up to 80mg of oxycontin every 8 hrs and 2 Vicodin 10mg for breakthrough in between (prescribed). I was going through this and then some, along with other prescription and street drugs.

I only had the pump for a short time, as it was threaded into my spinal column and began to leak, leaving me open to life-threatening infection. The clinic where I had it implanted was four hours away. No other hospital would touch me, so when it began to leak, I had to be taken at 3am to this clinic. I would caution that you have access to the facility where you have the procedure done or have an arrangement that if there are any problems, another, closer facility will be willing to treat you.

This is what mine looked like:



I have had to take opiate pain medication for a short time in recovery. I see that you have a sponsor - I urge you to stay in close contact about any cravings that the drug may awaken in you. I don't understand the brain chemistry behind it, but I know my addict mind. If this brings to you a better quality of life, as I will pray for you that it will, please remember that recovery is a gift to be cherished. I didn't relapse when I had to take pain medication. If you're rigorously honest, and grateful for your recovery - you won't, either.

Have a blessed day.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[ksos]

Originally Posted by Sugah

Hi, ksos. I just read through this thread and thought I would add my experience to it. I had a morphine pump in 2001. I was not clean at the time, and the reason that it was recommended was that I was up to 80mg of oxycontin every 8 hrs and 2 Vicodin 10mg for breakthrough in between (prescribed). I was going through this and then some, along with other prescription and street drugs.

I only had the pump for a short time, as it was threaded into my spinal column and began to leak, leaving me open to life-threatening infection. The clinic where I had it implanted was four hours away. No other hospital would touch me, so when it began to leak, I had to be taken at 3am to this clinic. I would caution that you have access to the facility where you have the procedure done or have an arrangement that if there are any problems, another, closer facility will be willing to treat you.

This is what mine looked like:


I have had to take opiate pain medication for a short time in recovery. I see that you have a sponsor - I urge you to stay in close contact about any cravings that the drug may awaken in you. I don't understand the brain chemistry behind it, but I know my addict mind. If this brings to you a better quality of life, as I will pray for you that it will, please remember that recovery is a gift to be cherished. I didn't relapse when I had to take pain medication. If you're rigorously honest, and grateful for your recovery - you won't, either.

Have a blessed day.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Sugah....

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate what you have shared with me. Please feel free to comment on anything I write, so I can see the entire picture from a patient's POV. You probably can imagine how grateful I am for this unique feedback. Okay, let me tell you some facts about my pain situation as well as my distance from my Pain MD's clinic and the hospital he works out of;

His office is 15 minutes away from my residence by subway.

The Hospital is 25 minutes away from residence by subway.

I do not use any illicit drugs at this time. However, I was in full active addiction prior to my 2004 hospitalization for my first attack of Pancreatitis. My primary DOC's are opiates, particularly Heroin, Oxycontin, Percocet, Hydrocodone, actually-- name an opiate and it is in my primary DOC class. I also used to be addicted to barbituates like Phenobarbital, Seconal, and Tuinal. I also need to say that I have used cocaine and marijuana, but do not consider them my drugs of choice, but I would use them. I just want you to know my history in a brief way. Believe it or not, I never was a drinker of alcohol.

After my hospitalization for pancreatitis, I was referred for pain management and have been with the same Pain MD for over 4 years. He is aware of my substance abuse history and works very closely with his colleague and another provider of service to me, an excellent addictionologist who is also an MD, but never prescribes anything to me. He does work with me on substance abuse issues which arose several months ago when I was reporting higher levels of pain to get more methadone than I needed. I was put on a contract at that point, have toxicology performed every month now, and cannot get scripts "phoned" in to the pharmacy, which he used to do, actually.

Currently, I am actively involved with N.A., attend 2 meetings a day, and have a sponsor with whom I work very closely with. In terms of my medication that is prescribed by my Pain Doc, I am maintained on 120 mg of Methadone In addition, I also take 3600 mg of Nuerontin for pain control as well. As you may know, I am awaiting my insurance to approve the procedure, which sounds exactly like yours, and, to be honest with you, that picture freaked me out. I knew it was not going to be a bed of roses, Sug, but I am a bit scared of what you told me happened to you.

When you say that the "drug may reawaken cravings," are you referring to the morphine as opposed to my current medication? Or were you thinking I was not on methadone and Nuerontin? I am just a bit worried if Morphine will trigger my urge to use since I will be removed from the methadone and Nuerontin--which is why I have to stay in the hospital for three days--I imagined it was to deal with titrating the medications as well as to see if the pump worked.

Also, did you say that you still needed to take narcotic meds, even after the pump was put in?

Let me just say, and words mean nothing, but I do not have a "clean date" as of now. I do not feel "clean", even though I now take the medication as prescribed.

I am looking at this pump in terms of establishing a mechanism that I cannot control, but that will control my pain to the best of its ability. Once I am on the pump, I will put in my new clean date--which will be the first day that I am not in control of how many pills I can take...I know it may sound weird, but I just need to have drugs taken out of my life, and since I am a pain patient, I need pain meds, and I can accept that. I just want it to be out of my hands, so to speak, and I do not have to think about it...

Am I crazy for thinking this way?

Thank you so much for sharing this experience with me, Sugah. You really have opened my eyes to many things that I did not think about.

Always in gratitude,

Ksos

[ksos]

Originally Posted by Impurrfect

(((KSOS)))

Thanks for the update. I really hope you get approved and get the procedure done soon.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Whew! Hey Amy...How are you doing, my dear? Oh, I wish you were my insurance approver : )

I am blown away by Sugah's post, which I think really helped me truly understand Recovery in the context of Pain Management. I feel that once the procedure is done, I will return to work!

I had two wonderful job interviews this week, the one yesterday was one of the best interviews I ever had, but it will be a tough job. I must be 100% better than I am now to do any work, let alone a directorship, which was more pre-destructive occupation, so to speak!

((((Hugs))))

Ksos