lol

[sweet love]

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives,(?) read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with he technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.




They forgot to also state that no matter what color you ordered that at sometime it would turn blue and that you would loose the gas that the engine was using at the time of the car turning blue!

Also if you changed stations on the radio you may have to insert the original cd where is was originally installed or search somewhere else for a new driver as the old one is no longer works!

[sweet love]

NINE ANNOYING THINGS


1.

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2.

The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no sexual organs.

3.

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

4.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." What good is cake if you can't eat it?

5.

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6.

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No , I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the friggin ceiling up there.

7.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".....Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

8.

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then it must not be the first one!!

9.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know you pulled me over!


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