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04-28-2006, 06:25 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,541
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"The Snorer" Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night." The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long." -- |
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04-28-2006, 07:37 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Don't get undies in a bunch  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,170
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__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.  Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today? |
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04-28-2006, 09:24 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,919
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An old couple are in the middle of mass at church. The old woman turns to her husband and whispers, "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" when the old man replies, "Put your hearing aid back in."
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté  |
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04-28-2006, 11:29 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Sharing Our Light  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,172
| Real bargain 
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~  |
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04-28-2006, 12:43 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Occasional poor taste poster  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA
Posts: 1,635
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If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it. |
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04-28-2006, 01:40 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 6,141
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geez jazz - is that all ou can muster up today? wimping out on me buddy? A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
__________________   Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown  |
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04-28-2006, 02:26 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA
Posts: 1,635
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I'll be bach! | |
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good one overit!!!!!!
love it annie!!!!!!!
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