Friday Funnies - 4/28/06 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 04:15 AM

Pants or Face?

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 04:16 AM

come on all - let's have some friday fun okay?!!!

OVERIT · 04-28-2006, 06:25 AM

"The Snorer"

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and
watched him all night."

The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it!

They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
--

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 06:30 AM

good one overit!!!!!!

best · 04-28-2006, 07:37 AM

OVERIT · 04-28-2006, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by best

So, Best, what are you trying "not to say"?

indigo · 04-28-2006, 09:24 AM

An old couple are in the middle of mass at church. The old woman turns to
her husband and whispers,

"I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" when the old man replies,
"Put your hearing aid back in."

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 11:00 AM

love it annie!!!!!!!

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 11:11 AM

what the.....???

**Ann** · 04-28-2006, 11:29 AM

Jazzman · 04-28-2006, 12:43 PM

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 01:40 PM

geez jazz - is that all ou can muster up today? wimping out on me buddy?

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

Jazzman · 04-28-2006, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cwohio

geez jazz - is that all ou can muster up today? wimping out on me buddy?

Sorry Christie, work has been kicking my butt lately.

I'll be bach!

cwohio · 04-28-2006, 04:26 PM

ok - i'll let you slide this time jazz!

Hope · 05-01-2006, 06:36 PM

lol!

fraankie · 05-03-2006, 11:48 AM

lol

04-28-2006, 04:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	Friday Funnies - 4/28/06 Pants or Face? __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 04:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	come on all - let's have some friday fun okay?!!! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 06:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	good one overit!!!!!! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 07:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,166	__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

04-28-2006, 09:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	An old couple are in the middle of mass at church. The old woman turns to her husband and whispers, "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" when the old man replies, "Put your hearing aid back in." __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

04-28-2006, 06:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
OVERIT Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top! Posts: 3,540	"The Snorer" Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night." The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long." --

04-28-2006, 11:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	love it annie!!!!!!! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 11:11 AM	#9 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	what the.....??? __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 11:29 AM	#10 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,173	Real bargain __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

04-28-2006, 12:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 2,255	If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

04-28-2006, 01:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	geez jazz - is that all ou can muster up today? wimping out on me buddy? A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking." __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

04-28-2006, 04:26 PM	#14 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	ok - i'll let you slide this time jazz! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

05-01-2006, 06:36 PM	#15 (permalink)
Hope Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,300	lol!

05-03-2006, 11:48 AM	#16 (permalink)
fraankie Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: brooklyn, new york Posts: 1,395	lol

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