McDonalds Job Application - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

02-25-2006, 06:30 AM

This is an actual job application!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

abtchonamission · 02-25-2006, 11:37 AM

I think he works at my local McDonalds.....

cwohio · 02-25-2006, 11:49 AM

bikewench · 02-25-2006, 12:50 PM

I think this employee is following me from store to store... ;o)

.. let alone McDonalds.. whose capacchino freezies are quite good.. btw...

abtchonamission · 02-25-2006, 02:36 PM

I don't know if he's following you, bike...but he's definitely hanging out at my local Super-Walmart today. I'm not sure if he just liked getting in my way, or if the elbow in the gut I finally gave him was enough to turn him into my personal stalker!

bikewench · 02-25-2006, 02:48 PM

Do you mean he was getting... fresh...??
elbow in the ribs is a leeetle close there gurl...

you be on the sharpe all the time... eh... like I know you are... ;o)

02-25-2006, 06:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
Viper Guest Posts: n/a	McDonalds Job Application This is an actual job application! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

02-25-2006, 11:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
abtchonamission Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: In the mountain air Posts: 1,349	I think he works at my local McDonalds..... __________________ Faith... When you come to the end of all the light you know and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.

02-25-2006, 11:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZBxdm197YYUS' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_21.gif' alt='Roll' border=0></a> __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-25-2006, 02:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
abtchonamission Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: In the mountain air Posts: 1,349	I don't know if he's following you, bike...but he's definitely hanging out at my local Super-Walmart today. I'm not sure if he just liked getting in my way, or if the elbow in the gut I finally gave him was enough to turn him into my personal stalker! __________________ Faith... When you come to the end of all the light you know and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.

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02-25-2006, 12:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,440	I think this employee is following me from store to store... ;o) .. let alone McDonalds.. whose capacchino freezies are quite good.. btw...

02-25-2006, 02:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,440	Do you mean he was getting... fresh...?? elbow in the ribs is a leeetle close there gurl... you be on the sharpe all the time... eh... like I know you are... ;o)

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