Friday Funnies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Jazzman · 02-24-2006, 08:50 AM

j/k girls!

Jazzman · 02-24-2006, 09:08 AM

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

cwohio · 02-24-2006, 09:23 AM

thanks for the good start gabe & jazz!

gabe - oh i can soooo relate to that cartoon!

cwohio · 02-24-2006, 09:29 AM

A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Texan were discussing lovemaking.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted.

"What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian.

"Don't stop," said the Texan.

***indigo*** · 02-24-2006, 10:02 AM

Good one girl!!!

***indigo*** · 02-24-2006, 10:26 AM

ok

cwohio · 02-24-2006, 10:33 AM

sign of the times huh! LOL

Jazzman · 02-24-2006, 11:14 AM

Mission impossible

Jazzman · 02-24-2006, 11:16 AM

no desc.

Jazzman · 02-24-2006, 11:22 AM

http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=450

cwohio · 02-24-2006, 11:22 AM

cwohio · 02-24-2006, 11:29 AM

daddysgirl29 · 02-24-2006, 12:02 PM

I really needed these today. I haven't logged on in awhile (new job), but I'm glad I made time today!!

Big smiles,

Gabe · 02-24-2006, 12:06 PM

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:08 PM

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:15 PM

for the inner pirate in all of us.........the pirate keyboard
ps.september 19th is international talk like a pirate day

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:32 PM

this might be me today....can anyone tell that i'm trying to avoid housework!?

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:33 PM

this might be me today.........can anyone tell i'm trying to avoid housework!?

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:37 PM

soooo sorry ....let's try that ONE MORE TIME......HERE'S THE PICTURE I MENT TO GO WITH THOSE WORDS

wolflet · 02-24-2006, 12:38 PM

OVERIT · 02-25-2006, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzman

no desc.

My vote!

02-24-2006, 08:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959	Friday Funnies

02-24-2006, 09:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	thanks for the good start gabe & jazz! gabe - oh i can soooo relate to that cartoon! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-24-2006, 09:29 AM	#5 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Texan were discussing lovemaking. "Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian. "Don't stop," said the Texan. __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-24-2006, 10:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,919	Good one girl!!! __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

02-24-2006, 10:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,919	ok Attached Images __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

02-24-2006, 08:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 1,635	j/k girls!

02-24-2006, 09:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 1,635	If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

02-24-2006, 10:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	sign of the times huh! LOL __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-24-2006, 11:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 1,635	Mission impossible

02-24-2006, 11:16 AM	#10 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 1,635	no desc.

02-24-2006, 11:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 1,635	http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=450

02-24-2006, 11:22 AM	#12 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	Behind Closed Doors __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-24-2006, 11:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,141	__________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

02-24-2006, 12:02 PM	#14 (permalink)
daddysgirl29 Still learning; ever grateful Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: VA Posts: 842	Thanks, peeps!! I really needed these today. I haven't logged on in awhile (new job), but I'm glad I made time today!! Big smiles, __________________ daddysgirl29 _____________________________________________ When in doubt, look up!

02-24-2006, 12:06 PM	#15 (permalink)
Gabe Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,959

02-24-2006, 12:08 PM	#16 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	__________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

02-24-2006, 12:15 PM	#17 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	for the inner pirate in all of us.........the pirate keyboard ps.september 19th is international talk like a pirate day __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

02-24-2006, 12:32 PM	#18 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	this might be me today....can anyone tell that i'm trying to avoid housework!? __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

02-24-2006, 12:33 PM	#19 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	this might be me today.........can anyone tell i'm trying to avoid housework!? __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

02-24-2006, 12:37 PM	#20 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	soooo sorry ....let's try that ONE MORE TIME......HERE'S THE PICTURE I MENT TO GO WITH THOSE WORDS __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

02-24-2006, 12:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
wolflet fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co Posts: 483	<a href="http://img491.imageshack.us/my.php?image=2much3ut.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img491.imageshack.us/img491/6097/2much3ut.th.jpg" border="0" alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" /></a> __________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives

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