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02-24-2006, 09:08 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Occasional poor taste poster  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA
Posts: 2,255
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If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START"............. |
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02-24-2006, 09:29 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 6,142
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A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Texan were discussing lovemaking. "Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian. "Don't stop," said the Texan.
__________________   Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown  |
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02-24-2006, 12:02 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Still learning; ever grateful  Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: VA
Posts: 842
| Thanks, peeps!!
I really needed these today. I haven't logged on in awhile (new job), but I'm glad I made time today!! Big smiles,
__________________ daddysgirl29 _____________________________________________ When in doubt, look up! |
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02-24-2006, 12:15 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| fire dancer  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co
Posts: 489
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for the inner pirate in all of us.........the pirate keyboard ps.september 19th is international talk like a pirate day 
__________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives  |
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02-24-2006, 12:38 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| fire dancer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: no matter where u go there u are...co
Posts: 489
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__________________ how we spend our days is how we spend our lives |
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