Top Ten Signs you've Hired a Bad Department Store Santa !

[Ba Ba Oreilley]

10. He recently starred in film called The Full Santy.
9.Asks all the mothers, "How 'bout a little lap action for mommy?"
8.Was recently suspended from NBA for choking his coach.
7.Beard catches on fire whenever he lights his crack pipe.
6.Every few minutes, his beard rustles, and you hear a muffled meow.
5.When kid asks for a bike, he says, "Good luck, your parents look like cheap ass bastards."
4.He's doubled over, gasping for breath, after the second "Ho."
3.Amuses kids by demonstrating the "sleeper hold" on an elf.
2.His "beard" consists of a dozen styrofoam peanuts glued to his face.

And the #1 sign you've hired a Bad Department store Santa...............

1.Always starts off by asking, "You ain't Jewish, are ya?"