The real meaning behind personal ad abbreviations

[stormyautumn]

The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:
>> FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN (arrow down...the men are below)
>> Size 10 .................. Size 12 at least.
>> 40-ish.................. 48
>> Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
>> Athletic................ Flat-chested
>> Average looking......... Ugly
>> Beautiful............... Pathological liar
>> Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
>> Educated................ College dropout
>> Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
>> Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
>> Free spirit............. Substance user
>> Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
>> Fun..................... Annoying
>> Gentle.................. Comatose
>> Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
>> New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
>> Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
>> Open-minded............. Desperate
>> Outgoing................ Loud
>> Passionate.............. Loud
>> Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
>> Professional............ Real Witch
>> Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
>> Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
>> Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
>> Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
>> Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
>> Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
>> Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
>> Young at heart.......... Toothless crone

>>> THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST
>> 40-ish.................. 52 and looking for a 25-yr-old
>> Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
>> Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
>> Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
>> Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
>> Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
>> Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
>> Good looking............ Arrogant
>> Honest.................. Pathological Liar
>> Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
>> Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
>> Mature.................. Until you get to know him
>> Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
>> Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
>> Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
>> Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
>> Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
>> Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

[Greenbug]

Thats good, Let me place an ad now then!

I am Athletic, Fun, Average looking, Open-minded, Spiritual, Poet
and I am looking for a women who wants Friendship first, Beautiful, Wants Soulmate, Educated, Emotionally Secure, Romantic, who Wants a Soulmate.!

That comes down to for me:
Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Good with a remote and a six pack
Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Has written on a bathroom stall
Wants to sleep with your sister

And for Her it would be:
Trying to live down reputation as slut
Pathological liar
College dropout
Medicated
Looks better by candle light
One step away from stalking

Hmmm This does sound like a relationship I once had except for one thing, I dont have any UNUSUAL ear and nose hair, I have it braided quite nicely, thank you very much. If I could reach my back I would have a matching rug to boot.

[best]

Originally Posted by Greenbug

If I could reach my back I would have a matching rug to boot.

The secret ... Lay on your back on the living room rug...roll around like the dog does. With pratice, you can add a nice styling to the back hairs *LOL*

For that shining look...use the kitchen floor

[Greenbug]

The secret ... Lay on your back on the living room rug...roll around like the dog does. With pratice, you can add a nice styling to the back hairs *LOL*

For that shining look...use the kitchen floor

LMAO, I'll let you know how it turns out!