Banister of Life - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Chy · 09-14-2005, 01:56 PM

As We Slide Down The Banister of Life

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It's called, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice... well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

abtchonamission · 09-14-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

Chance · 09-14-2005, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chy

As We Slide Down The Banister of Life

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

I am not sure but even though I am 44 I am a teenager in my mind and number 13 fits me perfect then 14 well HELLO that is just life.

Love Vic

historyteach · 09-14-2005, 07:43 PM

Love it!

Shalom!

mulberry · 09-14-2005, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chy

As We Slide Down The Banister of Life

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

.

Amen!

Hopefloats · 09-16-2005, 09:42 AM

chy..thanks for my morning giggle..a good big giggle at that

Hopefloats

09-14-2005, 01:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,867	Banister of Life As We Slide Down The Banister of Life 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice... well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." 13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. 14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

09-14-2005, 07:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	Love it! Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

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09-16-2005, 09:42 AM	#6 (permalink)
Hopefloats Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: With Good Spirit Posts: 378	chy..thanks for my morning giggle..a good big giggle at that Hopefloats

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