Man Jokes ;) - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

susane1408 · 09-13-2005, 10:31 AM

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
They don't stop to ask for directions

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How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
Donâ€™t know.......... it never happens

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What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A bar of chocolate.

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What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs while you vacuum.

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How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes

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How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head

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A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.<o:p></o:p>

undrunken · 09-13-2005, 10:46 AM

Yeah, yeah. Make me a sandwich. LOL

cwohio · 09-13-2005, 10:58 AM

would that be a knuckle sandwich undrunken? LOL

undrunken · 09-13-2005, 11:07 AM

4 oz. Chicken salad, 10% celery in 3/16" cubes. 10% onions minced to 1/16", light salt, a little extra pepper, easy on the mayo, 1/2 oz fresh romaine lettuce, and put it all neatly on a toasted and warm wheat hoagie roll.
Thanks for asking.

cwohio · 09-13-2005, 12:08 PM

comin' right up! lol

GoldenGutters · 09-13-2005, 06:46 PM

Why did God create women?

He couldn't find sheep that could do windows.

cwohio · 09-13-2005, 07:00 PM

hmmm - i don't mind doing windows

09-13-2005, 10:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
susane1408 * Join Date: May 2005 Location: Lincolnshire, England Posts: 464	Man Jokes ;) Why do men become smarter during sex? Because they are plugged into a genius Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg? They don't stop to ask for directions <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? Donâ€™t know.......... it never happens <o:p></o:p> What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A bar of chocolate. <o:p></o:p> What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs while you vacuum. <o:p></o:p> How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes <o:p></o:p> How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head <o:p></o:p> A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.<o:p></o:p> __________________ "All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given to us"....................JRR Tolkien

09-13-2005, 10:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	would that be a knuckle sandwich undrunken? LOL __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

09-13-2005, 12:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	comin' right up! lol __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

09-13-2005, 06:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
GoldenGutters less hippo, more rabbit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Concord, CA Posts: 1,809 Blog Entries: 1	Why did God create women? He couldn't find sheep that could do windows. __________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% trouble

09-13-2005, 07:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	hmmm - i don't mind doing windows __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

09-13-2005, 10:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
undrunken Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 130	Yeah, yeah. Make me a sandwich. LOL

09-13-2005, 11:07 AM	#4 (permalink)
undrunken Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 130	4 oz. Chicken salad, 10% celery in 3/16" cubes. 10% onions minced to 1/16", light salt, a little extra pepper, easy on the mayo, 1/2 oz fresh romaine lettuce, and put it all neatly on a toasted and warm wheat hoagie roll. Thanks for asking.

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