Personal ads dictionary

[BaBa OReiley]

Subject: Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads

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<TT>40-ish..............................................4 9Adventurous.................Slept with everyoneAthletic.........................No titsAverage looking...............................UglyBeautifu l...........................Pathological liarContagious Smile.............Does a lot of pillsEmotionally Secure......................On medicationFeminist................................ ......FatFree spirit....................................JunkieFr iendship first..........................Former slutFun..........................................A nnoyingNew-Age.................Body hair in the wrong placesOld-fashioned..................................No BJsOpen-minded.................................DesperateOu tgoing........................Loud and EmbarrassingPassionate............................ ...Sloppy drunkProfessional................................. ...BitchVoluptuous................................ ...Very FatLarge frame................................Hugely FatWants Soul mate.............................Stalker</TT>

<TT></TT>

<TT>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:</TT>

<TT></TT>

<TT>1. Yes = No</TT>

<TT>2. No = Yes</TT>

<TT>3. Maybe = No</TT>

<TT>4. We need = I want..</TT>

<TT>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry</TT>

<TT>6. We need to talk = You're in trouble</TT>

<TT>7. Sure, go ahead = You better not</TT>

<TT>8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later</TT>

<TT>9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!</TT>

<TT>10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?</TT>

<TT></TT>

<TT>MEN'S ENGLISH:</TT>

<TT>1. I am hungry = I am hungry</TT>

<TT>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy</TT>

<TT>3. I am tired = I am tired</TT>

<TT>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!</TT>

<TT>5. I love you = Let's have sex now</TT>

<TT>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?</TT>

<TT>7. May ! I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you</TT>

<TT>8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you</TT>

<TT>9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you</TT>

<TT>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you</TT>

<TT>11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay</TT>

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