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Old 07-26-2005, 07:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Headlines from the year 2029!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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Old 07-26-2005, 11:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


O sure, another camera I can't afford
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Old 07-26-2005, 11:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
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here - i'll save ya some money....

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Old 07-26-2005, 11:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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All that progress and they still couldn't come up with a pill to keep men from being a-holes....*sigh*
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Old 07-26-2005, 12:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm825' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_19.gif' alt='Laughing 1' border=0></a>
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Old 07-26-2005, 01:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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HEY,

NICE PIC WHO WAS IT? OR SHOULD I SAY WHO MADE IT OFF THE
COMPUTER????




BTW,

IT WASN'T A GUY THAT POSTED THIS NOW WAS IT?????
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IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD


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Y - Yourself last

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Old 07-27-2005, 06:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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microsoft clip gallery at your service!

Quote:
BTW,

IT WASN'T A GUY THAT POSTED THIS NOW WAS IT?????
just seeing how many of you male types would take the bait<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxdm825' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_14_11.gif' alt='Fishing' border=0></a>
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Old 07-27-2005, 07:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cwohio

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Don't know why, but that one made my sides hurt with laughter
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Old 07-27-2005, 10:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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dan - glad i could help you out today with some laughter. some days certain things just seem "funnier" than others. glad you enjoyed!
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