16 Things That Took Me 50 years To Learn - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

**Ann** · 05-06-2005, 07:43 PM

Sixteen Things
That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn

by Dave Barry

1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe day-light-savings time.

2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think sheâ€™s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 111.

6. There is a very fine line between â€œhobbyâ€ and â€œmental illness.â€

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be â€œmeetings.â€

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you canâ€™t dance well. Just get up and do it.

Andy F · 05-07-2005, 02:31 AM

10 and 12 are very true! 15 and 16 would be nice.

Thanks Ann

BaBa OReiley · 05-07-2005, 08:35 AM

*10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.*

Ya never know?

05-06-2005, 07:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,173	16 Things That Took Me 50 years To Learn Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn by Dave Barry 1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe day-light-savings time. 2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think sheâ€™s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 111. 6. There is a very fine line between â€œhobbyâ€ and â€œmental illness.â€ 7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be â€œmeetings.â€ 9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 11. You should not confuse your career with your life. 12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. 13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 15. Your friends love you, anyway. 16. Nobody cares if you canâ€™t dance well. Just get up and do it. __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

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05-07-2005, 02:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
Andy F Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: London Posts: 448	10 and 12 are very true! 15 and 16 would be nice. Thanks Ann

05-07-2005, 08:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
BaBa OReiley Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: QVB NYC NY Posts: 620	10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. Ya never know?

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